1 - 20 of 2625 Works in Crack Treated Seriously

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    “Anyway, the sex isn't why you're stuck here. Obviously.” Why would that even be obvious? “It's because you insisted on giving me a blowjob even though I warned you not to.
     
    “I-” the impossibility of that logic distracts Yoongi from his embarrassment for that second. “Why would I be stuck here because of a blowjob rather than sex?”

    “Because you swallowed.”

    ~*~

    (Or: Everyone knows that you shouldn't eat or drink anything offered while in the fairy realm.

    Apparently, as Yoongi finds out, that extends to bodily fluids too.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,216
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    60
    Kudos:
    272
    Bookmarks:
    63
    Hits:
    2524
  2. Tags
    Summary

    The first thing John saw when he woke up 12 years after his death were the stars. The second and third were the green grass and flowers that surrounded him.

    And the fourth was a naked teenage boy who stared at him with an unsettling intensity.

    "It's a pleasure to meet you, John Winchester."

     

    Or...

    John's long and fateful journey to becoming the president of Lebanon's PFLAG Chapter.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    57,307
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    172
    Kudos:
    209
    Bookmarks:
    63
    Hits:
    2991
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Sam and Dean are dead. Castiel arrives just a bit too late to save their lives but is able to save the Winchesters souls. Even as souls, they recognize Castiel's grace and remember who they are. They latch onto him and manage to escape the reapers, but are now on the run. What can two glowing smoky souls and one half powered angel do against all the reapers hell bent on throwing the Winchesters into the void?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,345
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    380
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Shido fucks up and Akechi has a pretty terrible experience at IHOP.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,618
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    234
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Rafael Barba is a world-famous classical pianist forced to work with the punk rock band Secret Vicious Unknown, and especially their guitarist/lyricist Sonny Carisi, on a collaboration for Hudson Concert Hall.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,733
    Chapters:
    7/8
    Comments:
    99
    Kudos:
    83
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1184
  6. Tags
    Summary

    In a ditch effort to coax the wary members of the Resistance into accepting the prodigal son Ben Solo back into their fold, General Leia Organa requests a hefty favor from Rey. "Behind every good man is a great woman" is how the saying goes, but the man formerly known as Kylo Ren isn't good, and Rey isn't sure that any manner of hand-holding is going to change people's minds about that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,698
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    142
    Kudos:
    389
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    3959
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Crossover serious crackfic. Thirteen decided to look for River to become her second wife. When she hears rumors of a Professor with a time machine she goes to investigate.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,406
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    47
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Book 4 of the Hearts of Darkness AU series, chronologically following The Kids Aren't Alright.

    Dooku and his bondmate Severin Yusanis have returned to Serenno to stay, accompanied by their large polyamorous bisexual kinky family of choice. Established relationships deepen, and a few new relationships blossom; weddings, adoptions, and surprises happen as Dooku works to rebuild the Separatist Army and forge an alliance with the Resistance to prepare to fight both the New Republic and the First Order, in a high-stakes battle where losing ensures a fate far worse than death.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    172,836
    Chapters:
    24/27
    Comments:
    119
    Kudos:
    154
    Bookmarks:
    4
  9. Tags
    Summary

    There, beside the throne. On the left, where grey, broken chunks of stone rested in their own dust in the still gloom, having been undisturbed by any hand in ten full years of darkness. Except for Noctis’s, about half an hour ago, when he had leapt from the window and warped to the street below, chasing after Ardyn. But that didn't explain why Noctis could see a thin seam of light shining from amidst the rubble, so white and sharp like a razor wire.

    "I didn't realise how close I was to death," Noctis thought calmly.

    ----
    In the final moments before Noctis meets his Fated end, things start to go drastically wrong. It will take all four Chocobros to put fate back together and make the sun rise again on Eos.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,131
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    23
  10. Tags
    Summary

    I, Crowley, known in life as Fergus Roderick MacLeod, being of sound mind, body, and demonized soul, declare that this is my last will and testament. I hereby revoke, annul, and cancel all wills and codicils previously made by me, either jointly or severally. I declare that I am of legal age, and have been since before my lawyer's grandfather was conceived. This last will expresses my wishes without undue influence or duress, even — or, indeed, particularly — when said wishes are contrary to those of anyone who ever wanted anything from me. I hereby nominate, constitute, and appoint the demon Timothy Hubbard as Executor. If this Executor is unable or unwilling to serve, then I appoint the demon Harold Newman as alternate Executor. My Executor is empowered to settle any and all debts on my behalf, excluding soul contracts. I hereby bequeath...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,460
    Chapters:
    5/12
    Comments:
    128
    Kudos:
    77
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    453
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Ever since she was a little girl, Sansa was fascinated by the historical figure of Queen Margaery. She read all the books about the young queen, and, to her own shame, even wrote historical fiction about her. Margaery's tragic death at the Great Sept was one she often thought about, too. Many a night, Sansa spent fantasizing about swooping in to save her beloved heroine from the blazing wildfire.

    Then, one day, while driving in a freak lightning storm, Sansa got the chance she had always dreamed of.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,541
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    84
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    991
  12. Tags
    Summary

    archmage drake doesn't play favorites... except when illusion apprentice todd is around and he totally does.

    [brief snapshots between tim drake and jason todd as mages at the college of winterhold.]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,912
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    113
  13. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of one shots revolving around the employees of a struggling paper company (Dunder Mifflin) and their attempts to deal with (and by deal with I mean try not to slap) their self-proclaimed "awesome" boss who is actually just an idiot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,299
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    55
  14. Tags
    Summary

    John, Sherlock, Lestrade, and Molly all go to an airport. Things ensue.

    Oneshot/drabble

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    116
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    16
  15. Tags
    Summary

    (Canon Divergence/No space AU) Lance gets a call from his mama. All he wants is for his dear friends to behave. But knowing all of them it's a longshot.

    Oneshot/drabble

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    377
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    4
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Never plot your course when really, really angry upset after a mission, OR, sometimes the Force gets tired of all this drek and smacks its favored ones. Even good changes have consequences, though.

    Yes, the dreaded crossover to Earth, but that doesn't mean it's easy. Dedicated to everyone who just wanted to shake characters until they stopped being stupid about some things. This gives them opportunities to do new stupid things.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    63,644
    Chapters:
    19/?
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1592
  17. Tags
    Summary

    It had to have been fate when Eren's best friend Armin forcibly dragged him to the mall to buy a new pair of jeans at Dick's Sporting Goods. Because he ended up meeting an amazingly hot guy...and actually helping him out with something. (Though not like that, pervert!)

    Oneshot

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,603
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    18
  18. Tags
    Summary

    1935. The Great Depression ravages the world. Fascism threatens Europe. Millions languish in poverty and despair. The nations stand on the brink of ruin or rebirth.

    Aspiring writer Jughead Jones navigates through the perilous economic and political climate of the 1930s. Veronica Lodge's wealthy father battles Franklin Roosevelt's New Deal. Betty Cooper tries to tone down the Riverdale Register's rabid isolationism just a little bit. Cliff Blossom disperses striking laborers with a little help from the Pinkerton Detective Agency. His son Jason is a Communist. Archie Andrews still can't make a decision to save his life.

    And they are all about to find themselves thrust into the shadows of conspiracy, treason, class struggle, and war.

    Or the Great Depression AU no one asked for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,400
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1039
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Matthew understood. He really did. But a lizard? Alfred thinks Donald Trump is a lizard?

    In which Alfred discovers some conspiracies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,972
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    104
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Hannibal AU: Mick Rory's getting too deep into his cases for Special Agent Rip Hunter of the FBI. So he is set up into a relationship with actual puppy Dr. Ray Palmer, who just so happens to be a murderer

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,117
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    80

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