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    Summary

    You were minding your own business outside the Cinema off to the side away from the sunlight, it was super bright and even with your hella shades, it was fucking with your eyes. When this kid, this "New guy" at your school stalks up to you. You have no fucking clue who this dude is, so frankly you don't give a shit and just lower your head. Turns out he gives a shit that you don't give a shit and now you're chilling with pickled dildos, and Roxy is nowhere to be found.

    You're 16, going on 17, and to be honest.

    You're at the bottom of the food chain.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,392
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    65
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    525
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Boy meets boy. Boy and boy get lost in the Australian desert. Boy thinks other boy is an asshole. Boy and boy split. Boy and boy go to fight overseas. Boy and boy await their deaths.

    What else is new?

    --

    "Dave fuckin' Strider." Karkat says, tanned freckled face covered in scrapes and bruises.
    He's grinning through the blood oozing from his nose.
    Dave laughs and leans back.
    "Oh, wow, kid. 's like we were meant to be."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,439
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    118
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Dave Strider, human, Earth-born, probably not royalty in any way whatsoever. Until he gets attacked at a sperm bank and almost gets kidnapped. He is then rescued by a mysterious canine-masked warrior and told he is an intergalactically wanted man. Skeptical of the whole thing, he joins the warrior on a field trip to, you guessed it, outer space, in order to find out who he is and literally what the hell is going on here.
    Art by PeregrineWilliams
    (Updates weeklyish)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,279
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    649
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Prompt: write a four part fic spanning a year.
    I chose Johndave.
    Enjoy.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,187
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    28
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Roxy Lalonde has an obsession with frozen yogurt. The only thing better than frozen yogurt is cats. Luckily for her, her best friend happens to own the best froyo place in town.
    Calliope is new to town. Her brother has convinced her to go to a stupid street faire in a place she doesn't like while it rains. She only enters the frozen yogurt shop because she's hungry and wants to get out of the rain.
    And then Calliope meets a girl named Roxy.
    They both like frozen yogurt a good deal more than they did after they meet each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,103
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    313
  6. Tags
    Summary

    "Well... are they?!?"

    Karkat and Dave will not admit they're practically boyfriends. Shenanigans ensue.

    Based off a BuzzFeedViolet video.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,784
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    192
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Random humanstuck adventures of the beta and alpha gang. Might have vague smut.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,019
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    495
  8. Tags
    Summary

    You wake up to the soft sound of rain, even though seconds before you could have sworn it was the beating of fists on hard, cold metal.

    Dave Strider, age nineteen and counting, embarks on a journey that will change his life in more ways than one. It just might be too hot to handle, also, in more ways than one.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,093
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    68
  9. Tags
    Summary

    "Sollux has been strung up in the Helmsblock alongside his Ancestor. This was the Empire's first and last mistake."

    -Anonymous Prompt

    ***

    I try to keep the momentum going and update once or twice a week (usually Sundays) but sometimes I'm slow for a variety of reasons which may include any of the following: drawing art for a chapter, nonlinear writing, making a billion edits, writing something else, or being busy/lazy/sick.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,346
    Chapters:
    43/?
    Comments:
    208
    Kudos:
    309
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    5011
  10. Tags
    Summary

    When you moved to this boring, yet creepy town up in the dark woods with the Lalondes, you expected your life to be less than it was, especially since the school pushed you into this weird as hell field trip. Your name is DAVE STRIDER, and after the bus crash you haven't been the same...

    When you wished for a more exciting life within the territory while you wait to present you NEVER expected to find a busload of trouble coming your way, especially when your, 'busload of trouble' is now apart of the new pack everyone's talking about. Your name is, JOHN EGBERT and you can't just let this happen...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,961
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    54
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is John Egbert, and you're blind.

    Your dad seems to think the car accident that caused that has left you permanently scarred and emotionally crippled -- so he flips tirelessly through the newspaper until he finally finds a support group of people in a similar situation. Here, you meet Terezi Pyrope, an eccentric female who's hooked on giggling. She also happens to attend your new school; dad thought he was robbing you of making friends by homeschooling you.

    Then you meet her friend, Dave Strider, some coolkid who can't even remember that you're blind (seeing as Rose told you he waved to you -- no one waves to a blind kid) and you might kind of have a crush on him. Just a little one. Nothing major. Until you realize it's actually pretty major, and you're royally screwed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,204
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    64
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    662
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Every human has a counterpart. Most are Angels, who live their lives with only one mission: When their human dies, bring its soul to Heaven. After they complete their task, they are rewarded a life time on Earth as a human. But things are never that simple, and never that easy.

    When Dave dies, Dirk will have to find this out the hard way.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,788
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    583
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Several people stumble through professing their love for their partner.

    Inspired by the poem 8 Ways To Say I Love You and a similar fanfic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,508
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    481
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Everything is new, and you understand none of it. All the research you've done is seemingly worthless, no textbook can teach you what it's like to feel, and you despise feeling so weak about it all. However, Jake stands in front of you, real, solid, in person, so that has to count for something.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,947
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    273
  15. Tags
    Summary

    After thirteen years of radio silence, Dave walks back into Dirk's life and fucks up everything.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,807
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    19
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat always assumed that his life would be over as soon as the Empire caught wind of the cherry-colored sludge pumping through his vascular system. No muss, no fuss--just a good, clean culling fork to the chest. Little did he know that there was something far worse in store...

    "Please tell me my auricular sponge clots are failing me here. Tell me I did not just hear you say that you are sending me to some shithole alien planet where I will be nook deep in squishy hairless monkeys.”

    Meanwhile on Alternia: the political tides are shifting and the disappearance of a certain mutant blood sets into motion a revolution which could entangle Alternia and Earth together forever--or destroy them both.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    238,019
    Chapters:
    66/71
    Comments:
    853
    Kudos:
    527
    Bookmarks:
    92
    Hits:
    14397
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Post-Apocalypse AU where Earth is trying to recover and Dirk is a lonely person who knows how to build robots, and finally builds someone he can live with.

    In short: Dirk becomes a robot's dad.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,904
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    64
  18. Tags
    Summary

    ave is convinced to eat a decent meal in a local café. There, he meets the waiter that never seems to stop smiling. John Egbert. Interested, Dave attempts to speak to him, and John makes a vow to make the handsome shaded customer smile. But there is more to it all than John anticipates. DaveJohn café AU.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,615
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    530
  19. Tags
    Summary

    It takes you longer to find your way back home than you’d like, especially since it turns out to be hard to retrace your steps when the whole goddamn planet seems to be made of the same copy-pasted industrial buildings without a landmark in sight. Fuck this noise, next time you go out, you’re leaving a trail of smuppets as you go to find your way back. Just follow the trail of plush rumps.

    As it happens, you find Dave before you find home. He’s very easy to see, because he’s floating in midair. And he has wings. And also he’s bright orange. You were only gone for a few hours, what the fuck.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,118
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    264
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Who are these shining like one sundered star?
    [Like kindled lights in untempestuous heaven,
    Fair flower-like stars on the iron foam of fight]

    ---

    Teenage superheroes deal with hormones, mental illness, and extremely secretive guardians in a world of Horrorterrors, giant mutant lusii, mob violence, nightmares of a past life, warring anti-heroes, and asshole carapacians. AU divergence from Chapter 8 of Real Men Wear Tights.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,150,948
    Chapters:
    25/?
    Comments:
    877
    Kudos:
    919
    Bookmarks:
    195
    Hits:
    48913

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