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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Set in modern times, Thorin Oakenshield is the disgruntled heir to the banking conglomerate Erebor Inc that has been taken over by Mr. Smaug of DragonFire (We burn up the competition). He is in need of a code breaking burglar which he finds in the reluctant form of Beatrice Baggins. She agrees to this insane adventure as long as she can make snarky comments the whole way and be a general pain in his ass.

    Feel free to comment! I promise to respond to each!

    Also, all rights to the master Tolkien and the creative tweaks of Peter Jackson and Company. Thank you, Mr. Tolkien for all the magic you have created in our lives.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,564
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    84
    Kudos:
    95
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    2777
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Bilbo Baggins had been a young, lonely hobbit when he fell in love with a blacksmith who came to the Shire looking for work. But then the dwarf left, swift as a summer breeze, leaving Bilbo with more than just a broken heart to remember him by…

    Twenty six years later, Thorin Oakenshield returns to Bag End to hire a burglar and finds an unexpected son instead.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,243
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    121
    Kudos:
    1181
    Bookmarks:
    304
    Hits:
    24062
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Miss Bilbo Baggins of Bag End, the only local member of the aristocracy left unwed and unlikely to do so, spends ample time avoiding the complications and inconveniences of the upper class. Unfortunately, her world is turned on its head when her young friend is suddenly engaged to the Prince, her neighborhood is in an uproar, and a man named Thorin comes literally hacking into her life. Bilbo unwittingly stumbles into an unlikely friendship herself, yet there’s more to her mysterious stranger than meets the eye.

    Even more suspicious is his propensity to arrive to her home late and leave in a rush. Just before midnight.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,086
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    0
  4. Tags
    Summary

    There was no other answer that Bilbo could supply as he held the book against his chest with a unrelenting hand. "I forgave you long ago, you insufferable oaf."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,559
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    116
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1908
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Cuando entraste al nido de Smaug el terrible pensabas encontrar a una terrible bestia dormitando, mas en su lugar lo que viste te dejo sin aliento, ahí sobre las miles de piedras preciosas, sobre finas sedas de diversos colores, un cuerpo humanoide te daba la bienvenida, un ser mitad dragón mitad hombre dormía plácidamente sin percatarse de tu presencia...

    Language:
    Español
    Words:
    4,198
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Hits:
    8
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Thorin Oakenshield is the captain of the Gold-Diggers, last in their league and currently short a striker. He is at rock bottom. That is until Gandalf suggests a new player to their team.

    Pretty much a Football/Soccer AU fic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,791
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1203
  7. Tags
    Summary

    The Quest of Erebor as it might have been.
    Billa Baggins is not your average burglar- or, perhaps, a burglar at all. That remains to be seen. Thorin resents this little female's habit of gaining a foothold wherever she lands. Even in his heart.
    A retelling/reinvention of A Hobbit's Tale, beginning with Thorin's arrival at Bag End. Through the Reclaiming of Erebor, and beyond!

    WARNING: Ridiculous length, extreme drama, and non-canon moments galore.

    Written and edited by the Ladies Juno and Loki.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    202,121
    Chapters:
    62/?
    Comments:
    415
    Kudos:
    402
    Bookmarks:
    84
    Hits:
    17359
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Bella Mira Baggins runs away from the Shire and is taken in by Dís.

    See Notes for full summary.

    If any of you have read my other Hobbit story, this is the behemoth I spoke of.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,690
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    75
    Kudos:
    188
    Bookmarks:
    65
    Hits:
    2957
  9. Tags
    Summary

    All Bilbo Baggins wanted was to have have a decent job while he worked on getting his graduate degree in psychology. Moria Asylum seemed like the best place for that-until he met Thorin Oakenshield, an erratic and violent schizophrenic, who only seems to obey Bilbo for whatever reason and claims to be in love with him. Bilbo isn't finding Thorin's attraction toward him romantic whatsoever. However, uncovering a conspiracy to keep Thorin locked away to bury a disturbing truth about the head psychologist forces Bilbo to take action against Moria Asylum.

    Based on this prompt from tumblr: “Thorin Oakenshield was an esteemed businessman who thought he avoided the strain of madness that ran through his family until delusion and paranoia forced him into psychiatric care. He becomes singularly obsessed with an orderly named Bilbo Baggins, claiming the man is his Arkenstone. Thorin will go to any length to possess Bilbo, because if he cannot then no one can.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,405
    Chapters:
    21/?
    Comments:
    160
    Kudos:
    397
    Bookmarks:
    57
    Hits:
    7889
  10. Tags
    Summary

    For decades, Bilbo had thought only a few people his family - mostly his Took cousins, and only handful of his Baggins relatives, since they tended to look at him funny, given his parentage. But those thirteen dwarves wormed their way into his heart during the months of the journey to Erebor with what their characters showed - they could be fussy about particular things or people, they felt their emotions deeply and fiercely, they took offense at nothing and everything, they cared about something and didn't give a damn about other things.

    And still they shattered his heart on that fateful day, leaving only broken pieces in his chest, as he hung from Thorin's grasp, and nobody did anything to save him; they just stood there, watching their King attempting to strangle him as he struggled for breath, until Gandalf's voice thundered over the ruckus and made Thorin release him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,072
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    235
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Multi-chapter modern AU. Young rebellious Kili is forced into prostitution by Azog. And even after he manages to escape the big man, this life is all he knows and he continues to pursue a career in the sex industry. He knows he has disappointed his mother and his brother, but believes it is all he is any good at - and that he is! He ends up working in an exclusive club and thinks he has done alright for himself all things considered. Until a new client shows him there is more to him than just a pretty face and sexy body.

    For Draconizuka's prompt : Modern AU, where Kili is a male prostitute trying to change his life. Thorin is a shy businessman who tries to help him. Even though he is a male prostitute.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    132,055
    Chapters:
    43/?
    Comments:
    359
    Kudos:
    176
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    7312
  12. Tags
    Summary

    King Thranduil of Mirkwood – once Greenwood the Great when times were less perilous – had met many in his life. But none he had met in his long life had made as grand an impression on him as had the smallest of folks. The littlest people who he had ever met, who had suffered much yet had hearts purer than any elf could wish for.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,429
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    112
  13. Tags
    Summary

    The destruction of Middle Earth is imminent. In order to save what is left, the Valar call on people with a special set of skills to save them all.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,407
    Chapters:
    12/15
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1359
  14. Tags
    Summary

    When Gandalf strolled up the Bagshot Row towards Bag End, Bilbo Baggins was far from pleased.

    He might have owed the wizard a favour, sure, though the old coot himself never even mentioned payback of any kind, but a suicidal quest to reclaim a homeland and slay a dragon with only thirteen dwarves, and not thirteen of the brightest at that, was a bit too much.

    Then there was, of course, the issue of him being a dragon. Kind of. And even bigger issue of Goldlust that could only be controlled by a Tamer. But Bilbo's people were long dead and gone, and his potential Heart with them.

    So why is his spirit all but purring at the sight of a certain pigheaded Dwarf King?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,708
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    92
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    1058
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Bilbo Baggins may look like an ordinary, everyday hobbit, but in reality that’s far from the truth. Bilbo’s hobbit form is a curse, casted upon him from the Valar themselves. The only way to break the curse and regain his true form from the tiny and weak body he detests with his very soul is through death. Easy, right? Wrong. The catch of the curse is, he can’t die. No matter how many times he’s tried, he can’t get injured or scratched or even get a broken finger. He can't die.

    What is a poor dragon like himself to do? Why, have a meddlesome wizard take him on another journey with another promise of the death he’s always wanted and the freedom he is desperate for. But there’s another catch. The journey involves him traveling with dwarves, one of the many pitiful races he detest. Surely the answer to his curse is not dwarves that aren't worthy of his time. He’d end up killing them before they reached the end.

    What could these dwarves even give him to set him free?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,022
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    83
    Kudos:
    342
    Bookmarks:
    66
    Hits:
    6141
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Bilbo Baggins just wanted a normal life. But that’s a little hard to have when a man is bleeding in the alley beside his apartment building…

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,822
    Chapters:
    21/?
    Comments:
    121
    Kudos:
    360
    Bookmarks:
    62
    Hits:
    9939
  17. Tags
    Summary

    "„Dwalin, son of Fundin,” Dain says above him, his voice devoid of any emotion, „You are banished forthwith from the Kingdom of Erebor under pain of death.” Dwalin can almost hear the smile in his voice as he says: „Bring me his beard.”

    He can hear Balin scream, but he cannot recognize the words – blood is pounding in his ears, horror making him freeze. He closes his eyes tightly, swallows. This is what he wants, he reminds himself. This is what he deserves.

    Thorin, he thinks as one of the guards yanks his head back and puts a blade to his chin. Forgive me."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,512
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    451
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Dwalin and Ori go on fifty dates...

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,500
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    149
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Thorin and Bilbo fell in love during the journey to Erebor. Once Thorin becomes King Under the Lonely Mountain however, he need a Queen, a dwarf Queen. Enter Bazani Ironquarry, from the Blue Mountains, he fell in love with Thorin when he recuperated there after Smaug's attack. And she is not fond of Thorin's little hobbit mistress taking his attention away from his queen. Bilbo Baggins had to go.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,499
    Chapters:
    35/?
    Comments:
    82
    Kudos:
    389
    Bookmarks:
    64
    Hits:
    20279
  20. Tags
    Summary

    It was nobody’s fault—not really. But still Nori cried.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    404
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    198

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