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  1. Tags
    Summary

    He had a bracelet around his wrist, that Amanda had tied there when they were older than kids, but younger than they were now. He had an earring in one ear, something he never pictured himself with. It was small and shiny and served multiple purposes and god, why was blood so warm? It should be cold, death was cold, why couldn’t blood be cold? There was a gun to his forehead, and he held his arms out on both sides and tried to make himself as best a shield he could.
    -
    Dirk Gently, minus the sci-fi elements. A lot of assassins and agents and CIA-ish stuff. I thought it would be fun to do something where the government was the main evil, and it turned into this.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,551
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    127
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Todd Brotzman is given 16 years for murder. Dirk Gently has already been incarcerated.

    Prison AU.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,839
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    273
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Some people like to divide time neatly into past, present and future. But when you have time-traveled on at least two non-consecutive occasions, such distinctions might begin to blur; and when your past crashes uninvited into your present, just as you set out for your future, they just don’t apply anymore.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,994
    Chapters:
    2/8
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    150
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Unlike Dirk, Bart doesn't trust Doctor Laghari in the slightest. So the question is, will the good doctor come out of this job alive?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,566
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    49
  5. Tags
    Summary

    “The right jacket is like a uniform. Get that right and you’ll get where you’re supposed to go.”

    Everyone needs somewhere to belong. It takes thirty-two years for Dirk to find his.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,569
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    64
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    346
  6. Tags
    Summary

    I was a beautiful boy
    A gorgeous girl
    I was the queen of the wolves
    And the king of the birds
    The witches they loved me
    The hunters they hunt me
    And my life was the shortest way around

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    79
  7. Tags
    Summary

    AU Divergence

    After Amanda and Vogel escapes, she calls Farah and learns some grave news; not only is Dirk Gently missing, but her brother is apparently so as well. Together, the three of them come together to free their family and escape the CIA.

    However, some things are different. Very different. And Amanda needs to come to terms with them before she can move forward. But can she really just forgive and forget?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,633
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    68
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    824
  8. Tags
    Summary

    The thing sweeps its scythe and straightens. It must sense eyes on it, because it turns it’s head and looks right at Svlad.
    It is a skull’s face, grinning and bleached. Svlad stares.
    It tilts it’s head, like it’s watching a particularly fascinating documentary, or a cat attempting to catch a laser pointer created dot.
    AH, it says. It’s mouth doesn’t move, but Svlad hears it’s voice all the same, resonating deep and forever. INTERESTING.

    A story of Death and the boy who could see him, through the years.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,468
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    55
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    426
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk should have known that BLACKWING was not going to just pack up and go home. He had been blinded by the light of his prospective future, and like Icarus, he had not noticed how close to the sun he really was. And now his wings are gone and he's falling, right back into the life that he had tried so hard to leave behind.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,043
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    139
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1447
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk Gently's friends of one week stage a military infiltration to break him out of the Black Wing base as he confronts the figures of his past. Farah refuses to believe that she's fallen for someone. Todd's meds are beginning to wear off.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,395
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    239
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    2081
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Project Marzanna doesn't attract as many scientists as Project Icarus. Mainly because the scientists who work on Marzanna have a bad habit of dying.

    Companion fic to Project Icarus. Bart-centric, though Dirk plays a key role and makes a few appearances.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,662
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    240
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Segments of the very early and very entwined life of the Holistic Assassin and the Holistic Detective.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,309
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    120
  13. Tags
    Summary

    This is a collection of funny, humors lines between the various Dirk Gently characters that I post to tumblr

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    242
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    123
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Medieval fantasy!au

    Everything was fine for Todd...
    Well, not really. But at least nothing was too much complicated.
    But it was before he loose his job and was stalk by a weird Magus.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,289
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    125
  15. Tags
    Summary

    It's like a fine mist settling at the base of his skull, this filmy, grainy memory trying to obscure its own obscurity in the hopes the two negatives will cancel out and present a more comprehensible positive.

    He tries to focus on it like the few other times it scrapes at his nerve endings.

    Then Dr. Creed commands his attention, and the mist dissipates, dissolves quickly to be forgotten another time.

    "You seem a little distant today," Dr. Creed says in a strikingly dissonant tone, like a summer breeze limping its way between winter branches. "Something on your mind?"

    "Just the usual," comes the usual reply, and both doctor and patient are reasonably pleased by this.

    "That's good," Dr. Creed says in that strickeningly discordant voice of hers, like a gust of November skulking through fresh spring trees. "That's very good, Svlad."

    Svlad smiles at Dr. Creed, eye wandering to the candy jar on her desk, mind following suit in its usual speculations of what flavor lollipop she'll give him this time.
    Very good, indeed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    261
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    122
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Doctor Patel notes that Icarus has stopped asking for a friend and has begun asking for ‘an assistant’ with whom he can ‘solve the case’.

    Set in an alternate universe where Dirk doesn't leave the CIA. Dirk is a ray of sunshine, but there are definitely angsty undertones in this. Mostly gen with a hint of Brotzly at the end.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,107
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    135
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    895
  17. Tags
    Summary

    “I can’t believe you killed Santa Claus.”

    She shrugs nonchalantly, wiping her bloody hands on her pants. “He had it comin’.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,878
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    109
  18. Tags
    Summary

    A Rubix Cube, a crashed car, and a root-beer flavored kiss. What do all these things have in common? The answer is a dinner date that Todd Brotzman will never forget.
    (I took the word crashing in the prompt quite literally)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,144
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    55
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    714
  19. Tags
    Summary

    It takes every ounce of willpower he has to keep the smile on his face. “Yeah, I just...love her. So much.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,250
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    154
  20. Tags
    Summary

    The universe is a stream, and sometimes it’s a breeze, and sometimes it’s like a really empty road with no people on it so when you push the gas pedal down you can just go, like, really fast, and anyways that’s probably why a kitten runs out of the woods and then somehow kills half of the army guys.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    935
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    137

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