1 - 20 of 25 Works in Barney Miller (TV)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Small fic based on Murphy's Cops Law #2: The bigger they are, the harder they fall. They punch, kick, and choke harder too.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    678
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    230
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Annie Halsey is a cop transferred to the 12th Precinct. Her new partner turns out to be someone she knows intimately.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,449
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    92
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Marq Kyle is a cop at the 12th Precint who's dating Larry Bird. She becomes a true believer in vampires. Rudy Pasko shows up and wants her to be his queen. Will true love conquer all?

    Seriously, it's a fucking mess. All spelling/grammatical/punctuation errors left intact.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,414
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    147
  4. Tags
    Summary

    I’m pretty sure this marks the transition from Barney Miller fics to Boston Celtics fics. I guess I moved on from my crush on Wojo to Larry Bird.

    I actually don’t think this is horrible, but it ends abruptly and of course the plot points are ridiculous.

    As always, all spelling/grammatical/punctuation errors left intact.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,237
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    202
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Barney Miller/Hunter mashup.

    So, a slight reboot from the other Jules Tyler pieces. Jules & Wojo haven’t gotten together yet, and I think it’s a whole other timeline. It seems like I took an episode of Hunter and made it fit the Barney Miller characters.

    Danny Vermin is a character in the movie “Johnny Dangerously.” Again, go see it!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,852
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    79
  6. Tags
    Summary

    A Barney Miller/Stephen King’s “Thinner” mashup. I just. Wow. Same character, a gypsy curse, a green hickey that supposedly tracks the wearer (don’t ask, ISTFG), and an abrupt ending with no resolution whatsoever.

    The 88 Magnum is a plot point in the movie “Johnny Dangerously.” If you haven’t seen it, shame on you. Go watch it.

    That last monologue is a whole litany of quotes the real JMK (real initials, name changed) and I used to say in high school.

    As always, spelling/grammatical/punctuation errors left intact.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,016
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    93
  7. Tags
    Summary

    I think this was just an exercise in me describing my room. That’s it. That's the fic.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    757
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Hits:
    97
  8. Tags
    Summary

    New name and actor in mind. Still beyond far-fetched. She’s a cop who just so happens to have access to Yankee Stadium because reasons. She’s also a nurse, so a nop? A curse?

    As always, all spelling/grammatical/punctuation errors left intact.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,225
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    99
  9. Tags
    Summary

    So, this is a continuation of the pot brownies piece. It’s the same girl, and she and Wojo are an item. She is also bat shit crazy. The conclusion she jumps to is ridiculous, her payback is even worse, and she seems to get off on hitting Wojo when she’s not being all clingy and starry eyed.

    If the shoving sounds familiar, it’s from the Bosom Buddies story. And actually Bosom Buddies. Such a good show.

    As always, all spelling/grammatical/punctuation errors are left intact.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,359
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    71
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Pretty sure I just took an episode of Barney Miller, copied it and inserted the character into it, stealing lines from Harris, mostly.

    You guys remember what dialing a phone was all about, right? A rotary phone? It was the 70’s. Google it.

    I clearly put Dietrich in the beginning of this thing and then said he was off that day a little later on.

    There’s a big gap at one point where I literally left a space of a guy who I apparently couldn’t think of.

    All spelling/grammatical/punctuation errors left intact.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,187
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    467
  11. Tags
    Summary

    This one was dated, too. I was only 14 and it’s the earliest one I found. This time around it’s Barney Miller and it was prompted by a UFO my mom and I thought we saw one night driving home across the Napeague Stretch (it’s a thin strip of land from Amagansett to Montauk, NY with the bay on one side, the ocean on the other).

    Anyhoo, there’s the UFO, there’s a love story, and a kidnapping. All in less than 1000 words.

    As always, all spelling, grammatical, and punctuation errors are left intact.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    979
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    59
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Staying true to form, this piece is a mix of an actual Barney Miller episode, dialogue from Moonlighting (namely giving Marcy David Addison's personality), and porn that I can only begin to imagine where I lifted it from since I had zero clue.

    There is also no opening. Like zero. I guess I knew what I was thinking and didn't feel the need to elaborate on any kind of backstory for Marcy, other than stating what she does right at the beginning.

    Also true to form, it's written in first person and all spelling/grammar/punctuation mistakes are intentionally left in, as is the occasional "y" for and because I was taking Spanish when I wrote it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,153
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    46
  13. Tags
    Summary

    The removal of some old filing cabinets inspires nostalgia.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    149
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    162
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Dietrich and Harris don't fool Nick.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    592
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    171
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Dietrich knows how to make Eggs Benedict. Harris is impressed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    699
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    142
  16. Tags
    Summary

    SG-1 visits a Renaissance Faire for a little R&R.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,358
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    305
  17. Tags
    Summary

    The brave men of the 12th precinct catch the notorious Debutante Rapist. One problem: their suspect has diplomatic immunity. How can they bring the pervert to justice? Guest starring Jack McGee, ace reporter from the National Register

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,804
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    312
  18. Tags
    Summary
    • Part I: Together
      Harris and Dietrich express their true feelings for each other:
      "You are the most self-centered, narcissistic, and irritating individual that it has ever been my displeasure to encounter."

      "Then why the hell do you put up with me?" Harris demanded.

      "Because I love you, you selfish jerk!"


    • Part Two, Together Again
      Harris and Dietrich host a party celebrating Wojo's promotion, and invite an old friend.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,355
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    279
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Harris and Dietrich take their time counting flamingoes in the evidence room. "Counting flamingoes?" Yemana asks. "Oh, is that what the kids are calling it these days?"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,014
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    220
  20. Tags
    Summary

    In which Harris and Dietrich, who are not getting along, have to go undercover in a gay bar.

    "Why did we ever--" Harris caught himself and started over. "Why aren't we... Arthur, why are we 'off' and not 'on'?"

    Dietrich knew what that stumbling sincerity had cost Harris, and chose to respect it with an honest guess. "Because we can't stand each other?"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,423
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    310

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