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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk has a plan, when he's 18 he's going to take Dave and get him the fuck out of their terrible lives and start over. Until then being the barrier between Dave and Bro is his only job, his soulmate is just going to have to wait goddamnit. Dave has a plan, it involves getting internet famous and not going gay, easy right? Karkat also has a plan, to repeatedly track down his dumb as rocks soulmate and get him to actually talk to him for fuck's sake.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    185,331
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    536
    Kudos:
    591
    Bookmarks:
    85
    Hits:
    6268
  2. Tags
    Summary

    “A.I. don’t have emotions”

    How many times did he heard those words already?
    Never enough to convince himself,
    never enough to stop caring.
    Because he did, he cared for what he said, for what he thought about him.
    And at that point was useless to say that those thoughts were never positive ones.

    How could they be anything but angry remarks when Dirk Strider was incapable of loving himself?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,734
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    37
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is Jane Egbert, and you are eight years old. Today your father sits you down on the sofa, his pipe in his mouth and informs you that your grandmother has died. You look at the jar of ashes on the mantlepiece and think that this is not news to you.

    “No, Jane,” he tells you, “your other grandmother. Your mother’s mother.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,092
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    352
  4. Tags
    Summary

    You name is Dirk Strider and you have always been Dirk Strider. This wasn't a concept that would have ever been debated before in your life, but today that concept seems to be crumbling. You are Dirk Strider. What would it even mean to be someone else?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,395
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    129
  5. Tags
    Summary

    TT: …
    TT: Roxy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,559
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    51
  6. Tags
    Summary

    there's an aching in your body
    and it's been there for a while
    and oh child you are so hungry
    that you don't know how to smile.

     

    In which Dirk is sure that if his ego were as big as his penchant for self-immolation, he would split this town at the seams.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,052
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    86
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk gets attacked by his brother and raped completely out of the blue, there's definitely something suspicious going on. He needs to find out why.

    The full scale from noncon to consensual. Part of my Crocker AU.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,310
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    144
  8. Tags
    Summary

    There's a reason the Ebon Empire stopped trying to make cybernetically enhanced trolls.
    They all went insane.
    -----
    In which AR discovers that kidnapping rarely solves more problems than it creates, Mituna breaks out of a lab (with some help), and Seb continues to take good care of his Bro.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    66,381
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    411
    Kudos:
    629
    Bookmarks:
    133
    Hits:
    13556
  9. Tags
    Summary

    He’s a lot better at kissing than he used to be, though you suppose having a robotic AI with access to every guide on the internet and a body to teach him with has got to fuck with the learning curve in his favor.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,578
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    49
  10. Tags
    Summary

    People like to tell you what you're gonna be
    It's not my problem if you don't see what I see
    And I do not give a damn if you don't believe
    My problem, it's my problem
    That I never am happy
    It's my problem, it's my problem
    On how fast I will succeed

    Are you satisfied?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    558
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    64
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Rolal, where did you get those duds? And ears? (illustrated)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,673
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    173
  12. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,218
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Hits:
    14
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is Dirk Strider and this is the biggest heist you will ever pull. The target is one Roxanne Lalonde, famous scientist and inventor who created tech well before it’s time. She worked on the technology to create the first ever game that affected your environment. Sburb was an invention a hundred - maybe even four hundred - years before it’s time, and you wanted to play it. Desperately. Being a huge fan of programming and robotics, it is one of your dreams to play the first ever game to actually affect the world around you. Of course, being a poor orphan thief put a wrench in those plans.
     
    In which Dirk is a thief, Roxanne Lalonde spontaneously adopts dirty thieving children, and the Strilonde family has shenanigans occur.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,313
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    362
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Hal’s relationship with Dirk is deteriorating for reasons unknown, until he discovers a secret that destroys it entirely. It will take a disaster to show him that even the widest rifts can mend, and that there might have been something more to Dirk’s misguided intentions.

    The story of an android and his creator, as they approach the events of Sburb.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,619
    Chapters:
    3/4
    Comments:
    64
    Kudos:
    425
    Bookmarks:
    102
    Hits:
    4841
  15. Tags
    Summary

    What does the ocean hold? Being a veteran diver, I have a better understanding of the type of answers that question can elicit. But if you asked me that question before my most recent diving expedition, there's no way I would have said anything about finding artificial intelligence harbored in a pair of shades. It's possible, though, and that's exactly where my story starts. Fair warning, it's one hell of a ride.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,578
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    41
  16. Tags
    Summary

    The Game has finally been won. That doesn't mean it's over, though. The Universe Tadpole is taking its sweet time growing up, there are some loose ends that need tying, and questions left unanswered.

    Besides, there's also a debt to repay, and a self-sacrificing pain-in-the-ass to haul off of Death's front lawn before he ends up in afterlife jail or some shit. You know, the usual stuff.

    The usual stuff that, of course, manages to open up an even BIGGER can of worms than Bec Noir, the Batterwitch, and the Saw-obsessed shit-talking alien brat turned universe-destroying timelord with a billiard ball themed leprechaun gang combined.

    No one is surprised by this.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,959
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    68
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    633
  17. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    210
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    29
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Volunteering to infiltrate Felt Mansion to rescue some guy you've never met and to kickstart a revolution while you're at it: not one of your better ideas.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,298
    Chapters:
    2/6
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    279
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Hal, Dirk, and Jake muddle through finding a dynamic that works for all of them

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,171
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    53
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk y Hal, los gemelos Strider, reciben su carta para asistir a Hogwarts. Nuestra historia nos habla de la vida de Dirk ahora que ha ingresado en el mejor colegio de magia y hechicería, donde sorpresas aguardan por él.
    Clases mágicas, quidditch y mucho más en este universo mágico con nuestros queridos personajes de homestuck.

    Language:
    Español
    Words:
    28,385
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    85

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