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  1. Tags
    Summary

    The world was burning. Either that, or it was slowly being consumed by nothing. The memories are fuzzy. But still they remember a door opening and fleeing through it. Or maybe they just dreamed that bit. But here they are now, in a place just enough like home that it nose-dives straight into the uncanny valley when nice things start happening.

    And at the same time, two civilisations make an astonishing discovery. They actually share their orbit around the sun with a second planet. And if that wasn’t impossible enough, it shows alarming signs of being populated by another (arguably) intelligent species.

    The gods must be crazy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,288
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1482
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Dirkhal fic based off the quote
    "My dear girl, is it that you are so lonely that you had to create all this?”
    -Mark Z danielwinski.
    Also the very hungry caterpillar

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    641
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    53
  3. Tags
    Summary

    AR is replaceable.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,645
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    61
  4. Tags
    Summary

    There's a reason the Ebon Empire stopped trying to make cybernetically enhanced trolls.
    They all went insane.
    -----
    In which AR discovers that kidnapping rarely solves more problems than it creates, Mituna breaks out of a lab (with some help), and Seb continues to take good care of his Bro.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    56,845
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    252
    Kudos:
    336
    Bookmarks:
    76
    Hits:
    8116
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk swore he'd never put a human in danger again, not after his past mistakes. But after a chance encounter at a local coffee shop, he admits something more than the coffee is drawing him back.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,210
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    151
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    1798
  6. Tags
    Summary

    The job you took this time was pretty simple. Basic operation: find the target - some dude with a bucktoothed grin and a pair of wings grafted to his spine. Then kill him, dispose of the body, report back to HQ, and make sure you get paid this time. Maybe even get paid extra - HQ has this thing about mutants and they get that super villain gleam in their eyes when they hear of a dead one.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,224
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    190
  7. Tags
    Summary

    TT: Heady stuff. But what, the intrepid young explorer asks himself, the dickens might be required of me?
    TT: An adventuring man, such as himself, had best be game for anything.
    TT: I wonder if I just might be in over my noggin, he muses, looking off into the middle distance, as he runs a soft chamois over the slide assembly.

     

     

    You're in a bad way, brain-wise. Your virtual bro is, as ever, making it worse.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,448
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    151
  8. Tags
    Summary

    or: Five times Dirk Strider had to share (and one time he didn't).

    Dirk's always known he hangs on to people too hard. He's working on doing better. Doesn't mean he has to like it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,556
    Chapters:
    1/6
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    305
  9. Tags
    Summary

    It’s more than a little strange considering you know basically everything about her and now you realize that she only knows bits and pieces about your life outside that office. At this point you should just ask her to find another therapist if it makes her uncomfortable to know about you. You're friends now, it’s happened.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,873
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    91
  10. Tags
    Summary

    After god tiering, Dirk is captured by the Condescension. Being a newly immortal god, she gets creative with her methods of death for him, and every time Dirk dies he sees the man who died for him 400 years ago who tries to help Dirk decide between giving up or fighting back.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,348
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    338
  11. Tags
    Summary

    [required listening]

    Sometimes listening to Jake is like tuning in to radio static. He’s far away and the signal is shit, but by god, you’re trying, aren’t you? He can be sitting right in front of you and it still feels like he’s coming through from centuries away, voice distorted, lips moving out of sync with his words. Maybe there are subtitles you’re missing. “Dirk,” he’ll say. “Are you listening?”

    “Yes,” you’ll tell him, still trying to crack the signal.

    [sex in ch. 7 severable from the rest]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,210
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    529
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk Strider becomes blind at a very young age and is forced to have a bodyguard with him at all times. However, he soon develops feelings for his bodyguard.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,137
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    149
    Kudos:
    641
    Bookmarks:
    132
    Hits:
    10336
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Jake English isn't one for subtlety- never really has been. Luckily for him, falling into someone's life is the epitome of straightforwardness, and Dirk Strider doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    117,684
    Chapters:
    20/21
    Comments:
    381
    Kudos:
    666
    Bookmarks:
    100
    Hits:
    11009
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat and Kankri have to move to live with their God-Father and his two sons. Various shenanigans ensue, including sloppy make-outs, perfectly generic school projects, Dave being a conniving douche, and at some point, John is wet and doesn't have a shirt.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,207
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    442
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk builds Hal a body and finds it more attractive than he thought.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    687
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    222
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Having too much free time on his hands, Karkat decides to host a weekly movie night. And every week, he almost instantly regrets it.

    This week we're doing a minisode in the form of Batman the Dark Knight

    For a list of the previous movies, hoover mouse here

     

    Alternative title: Mystery Homestuck Theatre 3000

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    223,363
    Chapters:
    20/26
    Comments:
    618
    Kudos:
    327
    Bookmarks:
    63
    Hits:
    14922
  17. Tags
    Summary

    A solitary human in a very dangerous galaxy is looking for a weapon of the finest quality to turn against things that lurk in the deepest depths, in the void past the stars. Naturally, she approaches the newly crowned Empress of the Alternian Empire for some... raw material. Someone she can shape into a tool, a weapon. What arrives at her door will surprise them both.

    A classic space opera with new twists, writ large and chock full of thrilling action, cutting dialogue and romance of many hues and shades.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    60,002
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    208
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Androids have all but won the war against humanity, and the remnants of the once-great human civilization are reduced to miles of wastelands and hidden communities struggling to survive. Dirk and his friends are sent out to scavenge for supplies, while AR is sent to hunt down and exterminate the dwindling human population. Their fated meeting is the beginning of a union between species that was once thought impossible.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    106,551
    Chapters:
    23/24
    Comments:
    162
    Kudos:
    513
    Bookmarks:
    124
    Hits:
    9424
  19. Tags
    Summary

    "SO, DIRK........ I WANT TO PLAY A GAME."

     

    When the final battle against Lord English is lost, Caliborn offers Dirk a chance to prolong everyone's existence. A task so daunting he has to team up with the Leijons to do it.

    He has to ship everyone.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    63,960
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    83
    Kudos:
    96
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    2659
  20. Tags
    Summary

    You frown, hook them onto the collar of your shirt, and flop onto the nearest smuppet pile. You get the feeling it’s going to be a long time before you get used to living with your ecto-whatever the fuck, and an even longer time before you’ll be able to convince him to loan you something to contact someone with.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,759
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    185

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