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  1. Tags
    Summary

    or: Five times Dirk Strider had to share (and one time he didn't).

    Dirk's always known he hangs on to people too hard. He's working on doing better. Doesn't mean he has to like it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,486
    Chapters:
    2/6
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    95
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    668
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Having too much free time on his hands, Karkat decides to host a weekly movie night. And every week, he almost instantly regrets it.

    This week we're fighting monsters in giant robots with Pacific Rim

    For a list of the previous movies, hoover mouse here

     

    Alternative title: Mystery Homestuck Theatre 3000

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    236,891
    Chapters:
    21/?
    Comments:
    683
    Kudos:
    346
    Bookmarks:
    73
    Hits:
    16825
  3. Tags
    Summary

    D gets tangled up in Hollywood going ons and winds up awake for an unholy amount of time. It's up to his little brother to put his ass to bed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,337
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    35
  4. Tags
    Summary

    The job you took this time was pretty simple. Basic operation: find the target - some dude with a bucktoothed grin and a pair of wings grafted to his spine. Then kill him, dispose of the body, report back to HQ, and make sure you get paid this time. Maybe even get paid extra - HQ has this thing about mutants and they get that super villain gleam in their eyes when they hear of a dead one.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,910
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    488
  5. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    739
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    19
  6. Tags
    Summary

    JADE: she said he had destroyed his land and slayed his own heir of breath not out of malice, but to make a slight correction

    JADE: i asked her...

    JADE: what do you mean, "correction"?

    - http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=008968 -

    ____

    In which Davesprite isn't killed on LOWAS, AR surfs the ancient internet, and Dirk Strider has a guardian after all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,921
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    284
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Post-Apocalypse AU where Earth is trying to recover and Dirk is a lonely person who knows how to build robots, and finally builds someone he can live with.

    In short: Dirk becomes a robot's dad.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,064
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    85
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Boy meets boy. Boy and boy get lost in the Australian desert. Boy thinks other boy is an asshole. Boy and boy split. Boy and boy go to fight overseas. Boy and boy await their deaths.

    What else is new?

    --

    "Dave fuckin' Strider." Karkat says, tanned freckled face covered in scrapes and bruises.
    He's grinning through the blood oozing from his nose.
    Dave laughs and leans back.
    "Oh, wow, kid. 's like we were meant to be."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,439
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    204
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Everything is new, and you understand none of it. All the research you've done is seemingly worthless, no textbook can teach you what it's like to feel, and you despise feeling so weak about it all. However, Jake stands in front of you, real, solid, in person, so that has to count for something.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,947
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    316
  10. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of Homestuck one shots that can, and will, be about anything. From fluff to angst, AU to canon, all of it is up for being posted.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,933
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    702
  11. Tags
    Summary

    TG: so you two are telling me my two best bros are so kinky
    TG: that one of them is going to go fuck the actual number two
    TA: eheheh
    TG: and the other wants to get his dick up in my step brothers shades business
    CG: IT SOUNDS WEIRD WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT.
    TG: i need to reevaluate my life

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,393
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    91
  12. Tags
    Summary

    You're a hero, of course you are, you're the protagonist, there's no dispute.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    636
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    74
  13. Tags
    Summary

    The world was burning. Either that, or it was slowly being consumed by nothing. The memories are fuzzy. But still they remember a door opening and fleeing through it. Or maybe they just dreamed that bit. But here they are now, in a place just enough like home that it nose-dives straight into the uncanny valley when nice things start happening.

    And at the same time, two civilisations make an astonishing discovery. They actually share their orbit around the sun with a second planet. And if that wasn’t impossible enough, it shows alarming signs of being populated by another (arguably) intelligent species.

    The gods must be crazy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,151
    Chapters:
    32/32
    Comments:
    73
    Kudos:
    98
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    2608
  14. Tags
    Summary

    "Well shit... What are we going to do with them? We can't raise two little kids.." I tell him, gazing at Hal and Dylan playing in the yard. "I know we can't. But we have to try. Do you not see? It's them, man. It's actually fucking them."

    It's been 5 years since SBURB ended. Earth has been restored, and everything is back to normal. Except the ones who played. Their lives are forever changed. Their guardians are gone, still, and so now each other the kids live with their counterpart; Dave and Dirk, Jane and John, Rose and Roxy, and Jade and Jake.

    It's also been 5 years since Lil Hal went berserk. Dirk made the colossal mistake of giving Hal a body. he improved and built upon himself until he was a mega machine. Hal destroyed everything, but the kids prevailed. Davesprite had been supposedly killed long before the uprising of Lil Hal.

    Now they're both back as humans, and Dirk and Dave have to raise them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    42
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk is on top of the world as the CEO of the foremost company in robotics, he should be enjoying himself and living large. Instead he’s lurking in the shadows letting his Auto-Responder turned self-aware AI run the show. Tensions run high as the two clash and slowly but surely everything falls apart.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,170
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    50
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Now chatting with a live representative.
    TT: hey, babygirl. you can call me bro. i'll be taking care of you this evening.
    TT: you got some tenacity, hacking straight into my network.
    TT: i'm not charging for this, i'm too invested in the story.

    Jade finds credentials to hack Bro's network in the source code for one of his ironically-run websites. It lands her right in a live sex chat. Might as well take advantage of it, right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,533
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    58
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    545
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is DO- no. You swear to god the next person to call you Dove will have a sword up their ass. Your name is DAVE STRIDER and you have been cursed with a female body.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,224
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Comments:
    144
    Kudos:
    114
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1542
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Here is the original if you'd like to read it, though I think the updated version is more interesting in a way....

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,381
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    95
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk swore he'd never put a human in danger again, not after his past mistakes. But after a chance encounter at a local coffee shop, he admits something more than the coffee is drawing him back.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,909
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    74
    Kudos:
    263
    Bookmarks:
    55
    Hits:
    3223
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Androids have all but won the war against humanity, and the remnants of the once-great human civilization are reduced to miles of wastelands and hidden communities struggling to survive. Dirk and his friends are sent out to scavenge for supplies, while AR is sent to hunt down and exterminate the dwindling human population. Their fated meeting is the beginning of a union between species that was once thought impossible.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    126,098
    Chapters:
    25/25
    Comments:
    203
    Kudos:
    719
    Bookmarks:
    161
    Hits:
    13002

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