Shards of Reflection

Series Metadata

Series begun:
2008-09-18
Series updated:
2013-06-12
Works included:
6
Complete:
No
Word count:
99,021
Author:
Description:

Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who could just do something and not overthink it.

I’m not. I dwell on everything.

Notes:

In 2008 I was drawn into a project called Reflection. It started off as a follow up to a story I wrote called Schism and a challenge. Through a series of twists to canon that weren’t as radical as you might think, what I’d done was create a character based on Buffy who was a shell much like Fred is a shell to Illyria, only there was no stronger personality to fill the vacancy. Reflection was undertaken in an effort to draw Buffy back out.

Now let me be frank, the character I fashioned was deeply addicted to trauma. She was what many of you whip up, so to speak, because it can be fun to play with the darker sides of our nature.

Of course the operative word there is ‘play.’ I’ve already admitted that I can’t just play. I didn’t start off playing. My Buffy actually had ample reason to be little more than a cardboard cutout with basic motor functions. I was dumb enough to ask, after having read a few frightening pieces of BDSM fanfiction, what could possibly cause such a strong, independent young woman to become so broken that all she wants is what these authors suggest?

Yeah, yeah…I know. Some questions shouldn’t be asked.

What I ended up with was a three-hundred fifty thousand word story where Buffy progressively sinks deeper and deeper into her own personal Hell. A lot of the character development was illustrated through sexual encounters. It’s the most plotty piece of porn you’ll ever never read.

I still have no desire to publish it in its current form. Howard and a small, select group of people were asked to read it and weigh in and that was enough.

That seems like a whole lot of story never to see the light of day, but if I had it to do over, I’d go there again without a second thought and I still wouldn’t publish it as it sits. Reflection was the playground where I really refined my writing style. The characters are stretched so thin they become shadows of their former selves, but my test audience maintained that I kept them in character and the progression was so gradual that they felt authentic to their surroundings and mental states.

What I planned to do when I started this series was fragment the original story and put together a collection of stories that show the spirit of the original piece. I said something about drabbles last time. There will be some of those, I’m sure. There could also be some ficlets, but I suspect that the majority of what I salvage will be short story length. There’s a plot that I’d like to frame in. I still feel that it’s pretty good. The bones are there. I think I can reconstruct it and tighten it up without killing myself.

This is an open ended series that will be added to as I need stories to meet the commitments I’ve made. It may be very slow coming, but I promise that it’ll be intriguing. Unfortunately, that’s the only thing I really can promise.

Shards of Reflection

Listing Series