The Girl Who Couldn't Stop
"And when I was alone, in my hive, there wasn't much to distract me." Terezi continues, sniffling, "And the only way to stop... Thinking about my eyes was to touch them. It was... Reassuring somehow. I know it's gross but it makes me feel better for some reason. It lets me stop thinking about them for a minute." Terezi lets out a strangled noise that sounds like a swallowed sob, "And I couldn't stop doing it...."
He doesn't like where this story is going. "Terezi..."
"And I poked myself blind." She cringes and he shudders, "I couldn't stop doing it and my sight... It got worse and worse and it hurt but I couldn't stop. And then, I couldn't see anything at all."
- Part 1 of The Girl Who Couldn't Stop
"Lusii don't normally "raise" trolls. They more just make sure that you don't die. That's only sometimes too because both Feferi's and Vriska's lusii could have easily eaten them if they weren't careful." Her eyes are bothering her: like an itch she can't scratch, "But no, Dragonmom never got round to hatching. We could still communicate though. She was very cool."
"You call her "Dragonmom"?" Rose chuckles, "That's quite... Sweet."
"Careful, Lalonde, don't drift into pale territory." Terezi grins, "This is a purely professional relationship, don't forget. Client-therapist, remember?" She taps the side of her nose, "I know I'm pitiful but damn, girl, lay off the flirting."
- Part 2 of The Girl Who Couldn't Stop
"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" Terezi, who has lost all control of her logical thoughts, screams at him because she can feel her eyes burning. She needs, she needs, she needs. She has been reduced from a troll to a beast, filled with these bad thoughts and compulsive urges that seem completely animal, and she can't help herself. She can't calm down, even when Karkat stops yelling and just cries and promises that everything is going to be okay. She keeps screaming that she hates him and her eyes hurt- can't he see that she needs to touch them?
"Oh my glubbing cod!" Two trolls screaming in the ablutions block is enough to attract attention from anybody nearby and who would show up but Feferi? She's standing in the doorway, tasting strongly of shock, and obviously staring at them in horror. Of course, they must be soaked in Terezi's blood by now and Terezi is screaming and Karkat is crying. Who wouldn't stare?
"Feferi, she's losing a lot of blood." Karkat manages to say, "Please get Rose and Kanaya and tell them that it's an emergency. Please, please, please hurry. Terezi can't die, she can't die..." And he's reduced to tears again, "Feferi, for the love of god, run as fast as you can!"
- Part 3 of The Girl Who Couldn't Stop
It doesn't matter how long and insistent her showers are, she can't seem to remove the feeling of his cold fingers from his skin. She can't manage to wash his metallic taste from her mouth or the feeling of shame from her clothes. As she crawls into the pile with Karkat that night, she knows that she shouldn't have done anything. She shouldn't have done anything with Gamzee because he has made her filthy and now, there's no way she can ever be clean again. No matter how many times she washes herself, no matter how many times she scrubs her hands until they're raw, the feeling of his hands doesn't go away.
During their next therapy session, Rose seems to sense that something is wrong. She inspects Terezi's hands, her skin, and asks how she managed to rub it so raw. Troll skin, she says, is incredibly tough. It shouldn't be damaged at all.
"I really hope you haven't changed your coping mechanism to replace your eyeball-touching because trust me, ritualistic hand washing is just as bad if not worse." Rose tells her and Terezi shakes her head because it's nothing to do with her disorder. This is to do with the dirt that's crept over her skin, the filth Gamzee left there, and her fruitless attempts to remove it.
- Part 4 of The Girl Who Couldn't Stop