Damage Limitation
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"I can get my head round death rays, laser beams, Doombots and magic, but how is a fucking magic sex grenade a thing now?" Clint continued. "That just shouldn't even be possible."
"I believe we're going with targeted hormone disruptor," Phil said mildly. "For the reports."
Series
- Part 1 of Damage Limitation
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"They are not *my* Avengers, Ms Blake," Phil said mildly.
He was fairly sure that nobody wanted to claim them and they were only under his purview because Nick Fury was an evil, vindictive bastard who still hadn't forgiven him for going up against Loki alone.
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- Part 2 of Damage Limitation
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"How are you feeling?"
"Like I just got fucked six ways from Sunday by someone who makes really awful sex jokes," Clint said, opening his eyes. "I'm probably going to need a day or two before we try that again. Three at most."
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- Part 3 of Damage Limitation
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The making out in supply closets part of Clint's secret relationship plan was a total disaster. In retrospect, they agreed that Clint probably should have realised that ambushing Phil and trying to pull him into a supply closet would cause a problem.
Explaining to medical why Clint had a black eye and needed two stitches in his eyebrow was not one of Phil's favourite moments.
The purchase request for new shelving in storage closet IB-188 was just plain embarrassing.
Series
- Part 4 of Damage Limitation
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"Why would you assume that it was anything to do with us?" Natasha asked.
"Someone removed all the products that weren't Widow Barbie or Captain Ken and stacked them neatly outside." Phil glared at her. "And they also rescued the warehouse cats before the fires started."
Series
- Part 5 of Damage Limitation
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Darcy held up her StarkPad. "The only images the media got of our boys and girls were the post-spore-thing goop fight. And as much as certain demographics love a good photo of people covered in slime and wrestling, overall it isn't playing well."
"They don't have to deal with the smell," Phil said regretfully. "It's lingering."
Series
- Part 6 of Damage Limitation
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There was a long pause and then Clint asked, "Is this about the air vents or the lack of communication?"
Phil looked up and sighed. "A bit of both, probably."
"Anything else been bugging you?"
"Do you want the whole list? Or just a summary?"
"Edited highlights?"
Series
- Part 7 of Damage Limitation
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Phil sighed and locked his computer. "I used to have authority around here."
Darcy snickered. "Yeah, boss, but then you let Director Fury make you the Avengers' liaison and you hooked up with one of them and you hired me. Don't pretend you haven't made some bad life choices there if you were looking for some authority."
"I didn't hire you," Phil corrected as he closed his office door and followed Darcy down the corridor. "You are my penance for some terrible mistake I haven't identified yet."
Series
- Part 8 of Damage Limitation