Hazing!Verse
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Summary
Loki is brought on board by way of Thor's nepotism and everyone else makes introductions in the form of threats.
---"This is my brother, Loki." Thor slaps a hand on his back, pushing him forward towards the gaping group of heroes. "He will be joining us in our endeavors to protect the realm of Midgard. Please, treat him well."
Tony is the first to break the silence. Loki will soon learn that Tony is always the one to break the silence.
"Reindeer games? Are you serious? Him?"
And so it begins.
Series
- Part 1 of Hazing!Verse
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In which Steve reflects on things and Tony talks the team into going to a Turkish bath house.
---Now that Steve thinks about it, they are treading into dangerous waters.
Oh god, that’s sort of, almost literal.
Series
- Part 2 of Hazing!Verse
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How Loki somehow takes the first tentative steps towards friendship by smelling really bad and helping save the world.
---“And my brother did a splendid job of dealing did he not?” Thor asks, eyes wrinkling with mirth.
Ah, there it is, the careless question.
Loki prepares himself for the barrage of insults that are no doubt about to answer Thor’s question. It’s not like he cares, he is Loki, Trickster King, Liesmith, god, the opinion of a few puny mortals is but dust in the wind to him.
And yet...
The team glances back towards Loki where he sits, looking more like an ugly house plant than a party guest.
Series
- Part 3 of Hazing!Verse
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Other peoples' failures leave marks on their skin and their memory, Loki's mistake leaves a rainbow shaded memorial that stretches like a scar across the gray stone of New York City.
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There is place in the world that Loki has been avoiding since he came back, and every trip between Midgard and Asgard only makes his impending visit loom higher and higher over his head. Loki doesn't want to admit it. He's a god after all, a master of lies and secrets whose power dwarfs that of all but the monster inside of Bruce Banner, but he is…scared.Series
- Part 4 of Hazing!Verse
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To the wedding of Tony Stark and Pepper Potts. AKA Loki tries to make himself scarce and ends up making a child cry instead.
---“So I figure what you’re doing is just the Asgardian version of community service.” Tony says, looking his usual smug self. “And children are the heart of the community sooo…” He motions towards the group of wide eyed younglings with one hand. “Get serving.”
He trots off to do some other groomly thing while waiting for Pepper to finally be finished getting ready and leaves Loki at the mercy of about a dozen children and two babies.
One boy steps forward, wiping his nose on the sleeve of his blazer and regarding Loki with watery hazel eyes. “Are you a magician?”
Loki regrets speaking before the words leave his mouth. “Yes.”
Series
- Part 5 of Hazing!Verse
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In which Tony figures out sleeping arrangements at Avengers Tower and I write bad fanfiction to describe how I think each Avenger's room would look, oh, and troll Loki.
---“Well that’s embarrassing.”
“What Tony?” Pepper asks, glancing up at him from across the room.
“He’s finally realized that he has neglected one person while arranging the sleeping quarters.”
“Yeah thanks JARVIS, shut up please.”
Series
- Part 6 of Hazing!Verse
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What Happens Once Can Surely Happen Again by SchyzotypalX
The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
27 May 2012
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Summary
Two times that the rest of the team comes to Loki's defense and one time Loki is the one to save the day. (Not actually a number oriented fic)
---Loki stares at them, and for a second, he is confused, but then he realizes just how cold he feels. He holds up a blue tinted hand to his face, red eyes belying barely repressed terror.
Oh no.
As always, Tony is the first to break the silence.
“Why is he blue?”
Series
- Part 7 of Hazing!Verse
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Curiosity Killed The Cat by SchyzotypalX
The Avengers (2012), Norse Mythology, Thor (2011)
29 May 2012
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Summary
Tony learns the dangers of trying to tease the Trickster King. Loki trolls and Natasha helps.
---Tony frowns. "Whose Sleipner?" He asks, genuinely curious.
It takes a fraction of a second for Loki to process the implications of this sentence. It takes less time than that for him to spot an opportunity. Apparently Stark hasn't done his research thoroughly enough, Loki will have to take it upon himself to educate him.
Series
- Part 8 of Hazing!Verse
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Summary
Contains: Tony Stark snark, nicknames, seedy nightclubs, vapid women and Loki handling the ladies like a baus.
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"You Stars n' Stripes," He jabs a finger at Steve. "Have been a capsicle for seventy years and a shut in since then. You two," He turns his attention to Thor and Loki, "are freaking aliens who still can't grasp that you're allowed to use contractions." Thor makes a noise in protest. "And you," Stark rounds on Banner, "have been living in god knows where trying your best to turn into Mother Teresa, her tragically nonexistent sex-life included."He crosses his arms over his chest, and surveys the men before him in much the same way a general would survey an army. "Now we have come across something much treasured. The wife's away and nobody is trying to use a ray gun to freeze the lower half of Manhattan. We have time off and you boys are going to go get dressed and learn about the finer things of the twenty first century, mainly the women. Is that clear?"
Series
- Part 9 of Hazing!Verse
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PHIL COULSON! AKA The part where I kill Loki so he can reconcile with a very smug ghost Coulson.
---Loki turns in surprise at the voice, only to immediately turn back once he sees what the owner of the voice is wearing.
Phil Coulson stands before him, clad in nothing more than a very small loincloth and a wolf pelt that is draped over his shoulders in just such a way that it manages to cover absolutely nothing of importance.
"Hello there," Coulson says, smiling. "You're dead."
Series
- Part 10 of Hazing!Verse
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Summary
The Avengers are turned into kids by a soft-science de-aging serum, silliness ensues.
---"WHO THE HELL HAD THE BRIGHT IDEA TO GIVE CLINT BARTON A BOW AND ARROW?"
"It's just nerf sir." One of the agents says, looking nervous.
"It's annoying as hell that's what it is. " Fury says, tugging yet another suction cup tipped mini arrow from the back of his head. "When I said I wanted him to come out of his shell, I didn't mean like this. He's got it in his head that he's some sort of Robin Hood, except instead of stealing from the rich, he just shoots arrows at my damn head."
As if on cue an arrow promptly sticks itself between Fury's narrowed eyes.
Series
- Part 11 of Hazing!Verse
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Summary
There's a surprise attack at a hot springs and the team, deprived of their usual weapons, must learn to improvise.
---"Well this is a bit awkward isn't it?" Tony says, tying his slipping towel around his waist as he slides in behind the counter next to Steve. "Naked and fighting a terrorist attack with nothing but crappy sandals and ninja stuff."
"Very articulate Stark." Loki comments dryly.
Clint and Natasha just roll their eyes. "We've seen worse. Budapest." They intone in unison.
"Budapest, Budapest. It's always 'we've seen worse in Budapest'! Is there something that went down there that I should know about?"
"Nothing that we'd want you to know about Stark."
"Now I'm really curious."
Series
- Part 12 of Hazing!Verse
