Oh my gosh, yes yes yes yes this. It is the finest and most delightful, and so wonderful, oh my gosh. Yes. Those are precisely my thoughts, I am not sure that there is a better way to express them, but I will try valiantly because that is what this deserves.
This is everything that is bright and perfect, is what. Firstly, let me mention the content: when I finally (sorry, I was out all day!) checked the summary, I nearly slapped myself I was so thrilled. Lindros! I know you were probably not expecting to end up with my weird character suggestions, but he's so well-drawn here, I am delighted that you did. So well-drawn, and complex and interesting. It's so subtle too, not like there's all this cleverness on the surface, but it's submerged, so even though he's got all these interesting memories and ideas, there's no compromise in the fact that it is Eric Lindros: not known for good choices or smarts. (I kid. well, some of the way.) The opening section addresses this particularly nicely, because the connection of broken bodies and the big broken promise to the Nords, and how those are possibly the same, which no one notices at time, or in the story; it's an interesting interpretation for some of the trouble that comes. (and oh, thank you for not making this "the story where he holds out on various contracts," because that might have made me cry. OKAY time to stop sharing, this is already a pretty crazy review, and you did not sign up for that.)
Secondly, your style is so wonderful. It's so terrifically crafted, and yet it doesn't seem showy or laboured. It really suits the subject, in that there's no hint of overthinking anything. When Lindros finally realizes what they're doing, that repetition of "first intermission of the second game" is hugely effective, but it's so quiet, like a simultaneous expression of how close they've gotten, without knowing. That mixture of form and content is...not really what I was trying to compliment here, but it is so very good and so very much my favourite.
Lots of things are my favourite, though! The history is so rich, all of the moments that seem quite small like the raven, yet take on this tremendous importance in retrospect, and in remembrance. The raven! Oh my, there is not even a way to express how I like that, and how it shapes their relationship, as Lindros is aware of this one aspect of LeClair, hyper-aware to the extent of excluding other elements, and it's effective, as the story does close down to what Lindros thinks, and it's almost entirely within his head. Which leads nicely into the really wonderful scene with the press, where the bird metaphor is so wonderfully modified and it becomes an original rendering of a difficult subject, and then my eyes became like giant hearts. (oh, and I had almost finished a whole paragraph without sounding like a creep.)
I see that I am running out of space, and let me quickly list some other things I like very much in this: pond hockey, snow, the title, the slow build of tension between them, the fracturing effect of head injuries, the plainness of the emotional content, all of the color imagery, the recurrence of cracking and lines, the variable effects of ice, running towards something intangible, unspoken and partly-unwritten touches that they share, the detail on the skates and the pressures of coming back that are magnified as everyone else emerges with their own concerns and preoccupations, and how constant their relationship ends up even as it's a new thing but that it offers so much, and finally, LeClair who is pretty much the best sort of friend for this.
Thank you so very much, this is really wonderful and I really enjoyed it; I hope you enjoyed writing it. It has made my day extra-wonderful, and is just really so good. There are lots of other things I would like to say, but most importantly: thank you, once again!
ps I am terribly excited for the reveal, because then I can hopelessly cheer for your writing. Oh my, these things? They do not sound creepy in my head.
Comment on Winter Closing In
brighty
Posted Sun 26 Dec 2010 01:11AM EST
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