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Questions and Answers

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Axel makes Eyal wants answers to everything. To what happens and why it happens. To where the past lives. He's answered some of it to his own satisfaction, and to his own surprise. Nothing is simple, and that will always be true, but Axel is here and solid and beloved -- yes, Eyal will admit that last. That's really the only important thing.

Today the question is what it would feel like to kiss Axel, and in typical Eyal he decides to find the answer by doing just that, right in his own living room, on the couch. They've just been watching the World Cup and they aren't even drunk, but Eyal isn't prepared to wait on this any longer.

Axel backs away at first. "Yeah, just what I need, another curious straight guy."

Eyal shrugs. "I am what I am," he mutters in German.

Axel grins slightly. "You know, some gay men don't have any objection to a straight guy now and then, but you just don't know what you're getting into."

"I'm not stupid," retorts Axel.

"Yeah, you know what goes where but you think I'm going to give you some kind of award for getting over your fears."

"I don't think you're going to give me anything."

"Except a blowjob."

"Okay, that thought did cross my mind." Then Eyal is laughing, his head down on the coffee table, and Axel is laughing too, and grabbing Eyal by the shoulder in his hilarity. The kiss happens after all, and it's made of heat and silence and Eyal doesn't want it to stop. While he may not know men he can tell Axel wants the same thing.

"So fine," Eyal says finally, "I'll give you a blowjob, how about that?"

Axel's eyes widen. "No way. You don't even know not to use your teeth."

"You're not supposed to use your teeth? Well, damn, I kept wondering why it hurt. You guys keep too many secrets."

Then Axel is laughing again, but follows it up with another kiss. Not long after that Eyal is successfully remembering about the teeth, with Axel's hands caught up in his hair and Axel giving somewhat incoherent instructions in two languages. Then everything is incoherent, and fiery, and Eyal gets the answers he wants and more.

But much later, Axel sleeps with Eyal's head pillowed on his chest, breathing softly. Eyal doesn't want to get up and wake him, and he knows it was true. He didn't know what he was getting into.