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The Three Little Survivors

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Gather around the campfire, I will tell you a story...

Once upon a time, you see, there were three Survivor competitors. There had been eighteen at the beginning, just as in most of the prior Survivor seasons, but our story only concentrates on these three warriors. Which isn't to say that the others weren't worthy warriors of course, as this is simply a matter of circumstances -- and stronger alliances, to some degree.

One by one, the three little Survivors got sent off to Redemption Island to face the ultimate test of their will and strength.

The first little Survivor -- we'll call him, oh...let's call him Brandon -- was sent to Redemption Island after unexpectedly having given up an Immunity Necklace he was certain he had no need for. Brandon sat on the beach, where he prayed for God to protect him. Despite having been instructed to do so, Brandon didn't build a hut, and simply wrapped himself in a blanket instead, certain that, along with his faith, this was enough to get him through the night.

There was a storm that night, a really intense storm, with winds so fierce that the pouring rain was literally falling vertically. Close your eyes and imagine it... You see it? It was a storm to truly test a warrior's might!

Well the rain rained, and the wind blew so hard that Brandon's blanket flew off his back and into the jungle. Having failed the challenge, Brandon threw his buff into the fire and went to take his place on the jury, confident in the knowledge that this was simply a sign that the Almighty had other plans for him than winning a million dollars.

The second little Survivor -- this one, we'll call Ozzy -- got to Redemption Island, after having sacrificed himself, quite honorably indeed, for the good of his tribe. Ozzy was a smart Survivor and a respected warrior, and he had already spent many a night on Redemption Island before this ultimate challenge.

Ozzy built himself a hut using palm leaves. It was sturdy and protected him well, but the storm that came that night was one of epic proportions! And though Ozzy was a strong and worthy competitor, the wind was stronger; it huffed and it puffed and it blew Ozzy's hut straight into the ocean.

Ozzy cursed and punched a tree, but in the end he was forced to throw his buff in the fire too, and take his place on the jury.

The third and mightiest of all the three little Survivors -- this one we'll call Coach, obviously -- was sent to Redemption Island as well, but only because he had chosen to go. Upon arriving there, Coach meditated and asked for guidance, and drew all the warrior's strength he possessed. Then he built himself a hut from the palm trees on the beach, chopping them down with his own bare hands.

The rain started during the night, and the wind picked up, waking Coach up from his beauty sleep. Angered, Coach came out of his hut, and he looked at the sky, and then he shouted to the heavens, "Would you cut that out? a Dragonslayer needs his sleep!"

Well, I don't know if you'll believe me, but, on my honor, what I'm about to tell you is absolutely true. As Coach raised his fist toward the sky, the clouds opened up, the storm stopped, and a beautiful, pure white dove flew down and placed a crown of laurels upon Coach's head, for he was truly the greatest warrior in Survivor history.

If you're ever in the South Pacific, make sure you listen carefully, for the winds there still tell of his story.