Jessica's footsteps were light on the wooden floor as she made her away across the unfamiliar apartment. Her boots were in her hands, preferring to move barefoot in an attempt to make as little noise as possible. Behind her on a bed, still snuggled under a pile of blankets, blonde hair peeked out. It was the owner of that blonde hair that Jessica didn't want to awaken, one night stands were always awkward but this one more than normal, mostly because Jessica was unable to remember the other woman's name. It was Amber or Ashley or another one of those popular 'A' names.
At least Jessica was pretty sure of that.
She was pretty drunk last night so the details were a little foggy.
Drunk enough to do something stupid like sleep with the first blonde who vaguely looked like the person she really desired. The sad part was it wasn't the stupidest thing Jessica had done over the past few months.
Number one had been falling in love with her best friend.
It wasn't that Jessica hadn't known she had always loved Trish, she just never knew it was that kind of love until she forced to watch Trish be under Kilgrave's control. Kiss him. And Jessica being unable to do nothing to stop it because that would have given away the plan and Kilgrave would have escaped once again, liking taking Trish with him.
To say she was taking her newfound feelings badly was an understatement.
Trish being a woman had nothing to do with it. Jessica knew she was bisexual since she thirteen and also knew that Trish also swung both ways. The problem was it was Trish, her best friend, who was the most important person in her life since she was a teenager. That friendship had gotten them both through a lot of hard times. Adding more, complicated feelings would just mess things up.
Which was why Jessica was fucked.
And was why she was currently trying to sneak out of a stranger's apartment.
The door to the apartment creaked as Jessica opened it, a glance back at the quiet bedroom however told her she was worrying for nothing. Amber/Ashley/other-popular-A-name was apparently a sound sleeper. Or at least if she was awake she was nice enough to pretend she was still asleep so Jessica could make her escape.
Whatever the reason Jessica wasn't going to take any chances. Escaping into the hallway she carefully closed the door behind her, making as little noise as possible. It was only when the door was entirely shut did Jessica roll her eyes at the ridiculous situation she had gotten herself into as she pulled on her boots. She was like a lovesick puppy who couldn't admit her feelings to the person who she really wanted.
And she hated herself for feeling that way.
But at least she had escaped without Amber/Ashley/other-popular-A-name waking up.
Even early in the morning New York was busy with life as people went about their business. Shoving her hands into her leather jacket, Jessica blended in with the moving crowd as she made her way home. Her current goal was to grab a few more hours of sleep.
She also hoped she had some booze at home. She couldn't quite remember if she had already drank everything in a moment of depression or not. Chances were she had but she was feeling way too lazy to do anything about it at the moment, stopping even for a minute was more effort than she wanted to put out. Later she could go out and get some more.
Jessica was almost to her apartment building when her phone rang. For a brief moment she was surprised that she had any battery left on it but then sighed as she looked at the screen to see who was calling.
Of course it had to be Trish.
She had been dodging Trish since Kilgrave's death, despite getting numerous calls a day. She hoped that one day Trish would take the hint that she wanted to be alone but apparently today was not the day.
Instead she did was she always did; ignored the call.
Jessica's mood did not improve as she entered her apartment building and made her way up to her floor. Normally she enjoyed the early morning quietness of the building before her annoying neighbours began leaving for work, but that morning she was too fucking tired to care. She didn't even glance at Malcolm's closed door as she passed his apartment. Instead she only had eyes on the broken door, which she really should get fixed one of these days, at the end of the hallway.
For once no one had broken into her apartment. It was amazing how much of that cut down once a lunatic like Kilgrave was out of her life. The apartment still showed signs of the fight against Simpson, another thing she had to get fixed at some point but there never seemed to be the time for it. Jobs had picked up since the Kilgrave incident and not just the boring work that involved a cheating spouse.
She didn't bother turning on the lights as she shrugged out of her jacket and kicked off her boots. She also didn't bother making it to her bed, instead flopping down on the couch, asleep as soon as she shut her eyes, hoping for a dreamless sleep where she wasn't tormented by images of Trish.
Jessica really didn't plan on sleeping very long. She figured she would be out cold for a few hours before Malcolm came barging in and began bugging her about the latest case she was working on. With Malcolm's help her list of clients and work had definitely increased but Jessica was still undecided if that was a good thing or not. She didn't like attention, she liked being able to fade in with a crowd and disappear, just like every normal person out there.
But for whatever reason Malcolm didn't visit that day or more likely he visited, found Jessica passed out and decided to leave her be, knowing that her nights lately had been sleepless and if she was going to help anyone she needed her rest.
The second option was all but confirmed for Jessica when she awoke that evening to find her phone plugged in and beeping with a new text message waiting for her when normally the battery would have died long ago and Jessica knew for a fact she hadn't been the one who had charged it.
As she stretched, Jessica reached for her phone, silently hoping that it wasn't Trish.
Fate however was not on her side.
New Message: Trish
I thought you would have known what it was like having a crazy ex out there and not knowing where he is.
It was a low blow from Trish but one that she deserved. No one knew what happened to Will Simpson, the logical conclusion was the creeps who gave him the drugs in the first place had snapped him up before he could do any other damage but there was no proof of it. For all they knew he was already stalking Trish. Simpson was crazy but he also had skills, he had tracked down Kilgrave, a thing few had done, they couldn't forget that.
Jessica should have known better but she was too busy thinking about her own selfish needs.
She really needed a drink.
But no, she couldn't do that for the time being. For the moment she had to make things right with Trish. It should work, she had acted with enough ability to fool Kilgrave, surely Trish wouldn't be difficult to fool either. All she had to do was pretend she wasn't in love with her best friend.
The voice in the back of Jessica's head however told her she was screwed.
On her way to Trish's place, Jessica stopped for pick up some food, a Moroccan place that was a block away from her building. It wasn't Jessica's first choice when it came to food, she was more of a Chinese or pizza fan, but she knew Trish liked it and at the moment she wanted to make Trish happy.
With the bag of food in hand, Jessica headed on her way where she soon encountered her next dilemma, jump up to Trish's balcony or do things the old fashion way. In the end Jessica realized that if she didn't act normal Trish would know something was wrong.
Therefore balcony it was.
The leap was an easy one to make, even with holding a bag of Moroccan food, within seconds of her feet leaving the ground, she was grabbing hold of the balcony railing and hauled herself up and over it.
Peering into the apartment Jessica didn't see Trish but the lights were all on, indicating she was home. Rapping on the glass sliding door, Jessica thought about just opening the damn thing herself and having Trish bill her later (although more likely Trish would just pay for the repair herself) when she appeared from her training room, wearing sweats and her blonde hair tied back in a ponytail.
Even straight from a workout she still looked stunning.
A lump formed in Jessica's throat, she could do this. She would not be distracted by how kissable Trish's lips looked. Although she did allow herself a brief moment to wonder if Trish's lips would feel as soft as they looked before snapping back to reality.
And things weren't good.
An annoyed look crossed Trish's face when she saw it was Jessica and not some wayward bird that was tapping on the glass. She crossed her arms over her chest and made no move to let Jessica in. "So you finally decided to show up?"
Trish's voice was muffled by the glass but Jessica still heard her clearly enough. In the attempt for peace, or more likely a bribe, Jessica held up the bag of takeout. "I brought food."
Jessica watched as Trish sighed and rolled her eyes but fortunately (especially fortunately for Trish's sliding door) she walked over and opened it allowing Jessica to enter the apartment. "Can't you ever enter like a normal person?"
"Have I ever been normal the entire time you've known me?"
They skipped getting plates, preferring instead to chill out on Trish's couch, just using the containers that the food came in, along with forks that Trish provided. It was nice and Jessica could almost pretend that everything was fine and normal between them.
"You might not be normal but at least you have good taste in food," Trish commented before placing a piece of beef into her mouth, an act that shouldn't be utterly adorable but it was. "And this is really good."
"I just remembered what you liked. When this place opened, you didn't shut up about it for a month."
Once again Trish rolled her eyes but this time her voice was playful and teasing when she spoke. "Give yourself some credit, Jess," she said as she ate another piece of beef. "You're always too hard on yourself."
"And I should be." With her fork, Jessica played with her food, a combination of beef and vegetables, suddenly not interested in eating. "Some Moroccan food shouldn't make up for the way I've been ignoring you."
Trish shrugged. "Then tomorrow night make sure you bring Japanese."
"I'm trying to be serious here." Jessica knew she was shit friend. She had ignored Trish and had practically forgotten about Simpson even though she was reminded of him every time she entered her damaged apartment. All because she was too crappy to get over her feelings for Trish, feelings that she shouldn't have because it was Trish.
"So am I, there's this new sushi place that opened that's right around the corner, their food is amazing."
"Will you stop it?"
"Nope." There was a smile as Trish broke off a piece of the bread and popped it into her mouth and once again Jessica found herself wondering what it would be like to kiss Trish. She however forced those thoughts out of her mind as she focused on what she was there that night.
"Are you even worried at all about Simpson?" Because Trish sure wasn't acting like it and it was the main reason why Jessica decided to put her feelings aside and stop avoiding her friend. "What happens if you walk out your front door tomorrow and he jumps you?"
Trish shrugged. "Then I'll kick his ass again."
"Trish . . ."
"Jessica . . ."
"That's not funny."
"Look," Trish said as she put down her container of food and shifted on the couch so she was facing Jessica. "I'll admit, there are moments when it freaks me out but I'm not going to live my entire life in fear just because Will is out there somewhere." Turning back to her food, Trish resumed eating. "Besides, Will doesn't seem so bad after facing Kilgrave."
Immediately Jessica's thoughts went back to that night. Trish, under Kilgrave's control, being forced to kiss him and Jessica uttering those three little words that weren't as innocent as she had originally thought them to be.
"I can't do this anymore."
The words stunned herself just as much as they surprised Trish.
She thought she could do it, thought for one night she could pretend that Trish was simply her friend but it wasn't working. It turned out that Jessica wasn't as good of an actress as she thought she was, which meant Kilgrave must have really been stupid, but even that brief passing thought did nothing to cheer Jessica up.
"Jessica, what's going on?" Jessica could feel Trish's eyes on her, but she didn't dare to look at her. She remained frozen, staring down into the container of food but not really seeing it. Trish's next words being the only thing that reached her. "You're kind of freaking me out right now."
And that was the last thing Jessica wanted.
So often she tried protecting Trish, even if at times that meant cutting Trish out of her life. Not that Trish ever stayed away, she was too stubborn for that and always shoved her way back into Jessica's life. It was one of the reasons why Jessica liked her.
And while Jessica knew she often caused Trish unintentional pain, it wasn't like she wanted that to happen. All she ever wanted to do was protect Trish and yet once again her attempts at protecting Trish had turned into a disaster.
For both of them.
"This, Trish," Jessica said as she dropped the container of food down on the coffee table. It landed with a small thud, rocking the food inside but Jessica paid little attention to it as she stood up. "I can't do this anymore." Her voice was strained and Jessica was unsure if she was fighting back tears or the desire to yell.
Trish however simply gave her a confused look, not budging from her position on the couch. "Yeah, I'm still not following you."
"This!" Jessica repeated as she closed her eyes momentarily, trying to find the right words. When she opened her eyes, they were hard and determined as she looked down at Trish. "I can't be just your friend anymore."
"Jessica . . ."
"No!" Jessica interrupted, stretching out one arm, her fingers splayed apart in an attempt to stop Trish from protesting. "You don't get it. When Kilgrave had you, when I told you 'I loved you', I didn't mean it as a friend."
There it was. It was all out now. Their eyes were locked, Jessica staring down at Trish and Trish looking up at her with wide eyes and open mouth, not saying a thing. Jessica's words being something she didn't expect at all.
Who could blame her?
But it told Jessica everything she needed to know.
"Goodbye Trish," she mumbled as she headed for the door. She could just jump over the balcony, that would certainly allow her to get away faster, but at the same time a small part of her hoped that Trish would attempt to stop her from leaving and for that she needed to do things the normal way.
Instead Jessica heard nothing but the sound of the door clothing behind her.
Defeated she was left with little options, one of which involved going home, getting drunk and passing out until the pain went away. And that's exactly what Jessica did after a stop to buy some alcohol on the way home.
She wasn't entirely sure how much she drank before she passed out. She didn't even actually remembering passing out. She remembered the burn of liquor as she drank it straight from the bottle as she attempted to block out all memories and feelings of Trish, which didn't work one bit, she couldn't forget, no matter how much she tried. It was a constant battle all night, she would think about Trish and drink, think some more about Trish and then drink even more.
Eventually the blackness came.
But it didn't last nearly long enough.
Way too soon she was jolted awake as her bed rocked, her eyes snapping open in the process. An earthquake? Another alien attack? Her body was awake for anything, despite the fact her head pounded in protest.
It was however not an earthquake or an alien attack or any other type of natural disaster. Instead it was Trish, standing at the foot of the bed, her leg raised as she kicked it again. "Time to get up, Jess."
"Why?" Jessica groaned, her head protesting with another pound as she flopped back down on the bed and threw an arm over her eyes. It was too bright even though the only source was sunlight streaming in through the windows. "How did you get in here anyway?"
"You're the one who lives in a place with a broken door."
She had forgotten about that, it really was something she needed to soon get fixed. But how Trish got in really didn't matter. The important thing was why she was there and how soon could Jessica get her to leave. Because even in her hungover state, Jessica couldn't help but think about how cute Trish looked. "I already bared by heart to you, it's not going to go away in less than a day."
Instead of leaving however there was a rustle, which gain Jessica's curious attention. She lifted her arm slightly to see that Trish was holding up a paper bag. "I brought breakfast burritos."
Before Jessica could even reply, her stomach rumbled, answering for her.
"Fine." Sitting up Jessica snatched the bag from Trish's hand. Stuffing her hand in the bag, she pulled out a wrapped burrito and tore the paper off of it. "But it's only because I'm hungry." Taking a bite she found it was her favourite; eggs, bacon, cheese and kale. "You have more, right?" she asked between mouthfuls of food.
"I bought four," Trish said, holding up four fingers as down on the bed next to Jessica's feet. With slim fingers she hooked the bag and dragged it back towards her before pulling out one for herself. "But you better share."
Jessica slowly lowered her arms and stared down at the half-eaten breakfast burrito in her hands, her mind whirling, wondering how Trish could act so normal. "What are you doing?"
"Trish . . ."
Swallowing the last bite of her food in her mouth, Trish put down her remaining burrito, sitting it down on the paper bag and turned to face Jessica. A small smile twitched at her lips. "You really don't know, do you? Wow, I knew I was a good actress but I didn't think I was that good."
"Know what?" Between the hangover and the empty stomach, Jessica was finding it hard to understand things that morning. It didn't help that Trish was sitting opposite her and Jessica was struggling to meet eye contact. Especially when there were other places that Jessica would rather look instead; like Trish's breasts or her lips that looked just as soft as they had the night before.
"Do you remember when I was addicted to all kinds of shit and you helped me get clean?" There was no need to wait for a reply, Trish knew Jessica did. "It was after that when I realized I loved you . . . and not just as a friend."
Jessica sat dumbfounded, Trish's words racing through her mind in between the beats of the pounding drum that would just not stay quiet for a minute. For the first time she wished she hadn't drunk so much the night before. "I don't believe you." She searched her mind, Trish never gave any indication that she felt anything more than friendship. "You're just trying to make me feel better."
Trish shrugged as a grin formed across her face. "I can't help it if I'm a good actress."
"You're not that good." It was a lie, but a necessarily one.
"Ouch, that's harsh." But as she spoke, the grin never disappeared from Trish's face. "I am telling the truth though."
"Then kiss me." The words blurted from Jessica's mouth without really thinking about it. A dare really.
Moving faster than Jessica expected, Trish leaned forward, crawling over Jessica's body until their lips touched. The softness did feel incredible, just the way Jessica imagine it would, as did the way Trish's hands cupped her face, pulling her in closer. Jessica's own arms remained at her side, unsure of how to respond and willing to let Trish remain in control, doing whatever she wanted.
It felt nice. Like a dream that Jessica never wanted to wake from.
But instead of falling into the dream, she found herself pulling away. Their eyes met, confusion dancing in Trish's until Jessica smirked at her."For the record, I confessed to you first. I deserve credit for this."
Rolling her eyes, Trish moved forward once again. "Just shut up so we can kiss again."
It was demand that Jessica gladly met.