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I was not born under a rhyming planet

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A young Barrayaran named Miles
Was known for his devious wiles
He was guilty of treason
But had a good reason
So now everybody’s all smiles.

 

‘You idiot, Ivan’ they called him
And he got the credit so seldom
For being Miles’ donkey.
And plots vile and shonkey
So often t’was Ivan who foiled ‘em.

 

The sad depressed Emperor Gregor
Was rich, but in love was a beggar.
At last he met Laisa
And then he could raise her
To Empress, he just had to beg her.

 

For Duv, the Komarran professor
The Academy thought he’d be lesser.
But he proved them all wrong
And then moved along
And now he finds Impsec no stressor.

 

Kareen liked the role of Serg’s wife
Until she discovered the strife
Of torture and rape
She tried to escape
But couldn’t, and so lost her life.

 

Epitome of Vor-dom is Alys
She runs all the life in the palace
Her glare can melt steel
But her loyalty’s real
And she does it from love and not malice.

 

Simon’s weird chip in his brain
Gave him knowledge again and again
He was Impsec’s great chief
Then the chip came to grief
It’s gone, but his feelings remain.

 

Mark started life as a clone
Tormented, despised and alone
He was trained just to kill
But he found his free will
And now heart and feelings have grown.

 

Admiral, drunkard and hero
Desire for regency: zero
But Ezar insisted
Though Aral resisted
And Barrayar got a straight arrow.

 

Cordelia flew in from Beta
On Sergyar Aral did meet her
T’was love at first sight
He proposed the fourth night
But she thought Barrayar just might eat her.

 

Cordelia risked all for love
Her therapist got a big shove
She ran for the port
Found a ship, wasn’t caught
And Aral thanks heaven above.