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"Rodney, your elbow's in my face."
"So what? I'm not the one who's peeping through a keyhole."
"..."
"OOOW! That wasn't really necessary, now, was it? Jeez, you've got a pretty mean pinch."
"Shut up, McKay. They'll hear you."
"So? If it was up to me, we'd be out there, wining and dining right now."
"No, you'd be wining and dining right now and I'd most likely be in the dungeon or something."
"Hm. True. Well, not everyone can have a queenly admirer. Or be in favor with one, anyway."
"She's 15, McKay."
"Still a queen."
"If you go for minors..."
"Oh please! You just can't stand not being number one."
"Actually, I was her number one before she was hitting on you."
"Whatever. She likes me now..."
"Yeah, but only because you fell on her by accident..."
"... which is totally understandable since I'm a genius..."
"... while I had to deal with those Genii fuckers."
"... and even though she's a pain in the ass it's a..."
"Sh! There's somebody down the corridor!"
"..."
"..."
"You know, your lousy plan to crawl away into this sorry excuse of a closet is even dumber than the one that involved you, a puddlejumper, a Wraith hive ship and a freaking nuke."
"Hmpf."
"Wait! Did you just grunt at me?"
"Pipe down, McKay. There're people out there."
"I don't fucking care. You only grunt at me when you're really pissed or really..."
"Will you just shut the fuck up already!"
"... jealous. You're jealous? You've gotta be kidding me!"
"Why didn't I pack a Wraith stunner..."
"I heard you! That was as good as a confession!"
"McKay."
"Jealous of a 15-year-old brat! Ha! You'll never live that one down, Mister So-not-unperturbed!"
"McKay!"
"You know, you didn't have to drag me away into your little cave like some possessive Neanderthal. I'd have come willingly if you'd told me you wanted some quality time alone with me without crushing teenage queens."
"For Christ's sake, keep your mouth shut or I'll tell Queen Harmony exactly just what you think about her."
"As if she'd believe you. And by the way, Colonel, you can't just order me to shut up like one of your well-trained soldier boys."
"But I can make you."
"Wha... nnghhh... ahh... oohh... yeah... John... so good..."
"My Queen, I have found him."
"Huh?"
"Where is he? Let me through!"
"Crap!"
"Seems you're just about to break a royal heart. Say goodbye to your 'queenly admirer', Rodney."
"Dr. McKay? Is he in there?"
"Yes, my Queen."
"The heck with it! As long as I've got my Neanderthal admirer..."
"Yeah, about that Neanderthal..."
"Oh, shut up, Sheppard, and come here! And you, close that door, will you, you peeping tom? We're busy."
"Let me through! I want to see him!"
"I am sorry, my Queen, but the sight is not suitable for your chaste eyes."
"Jeez, remind me to take 'Occupied' plates on missions."
"Will do."