Christian sank into the chair next to the bed, running his index finger along the edge of the silver and turquoise bracelet. He sighed, turning the bracelet round and round in his hands, sliding it onto his wrist. It felt wrong so he took it off again, carefully working it onto Steve’s wrist, being careful not to disturb the pulse-ox on his index finger and the IV needle taped to the back of Steve's hand. That was much better - it looked and felt right, and he knew Steve would appreciate the gesture, even if he didn’t know about it. He tangled his fingers with Steve’s, squeezing gently.
“C’mon, Stevie,” he encouraged softly, brushing his lips over Steve’s temple. “You can wake up now, ok darlin’?”
There was, unsurprisingly, no response from the unconscious man on the bed and Christian felt his heart sink that little bit further. Without letting go of Steve’s hand, he slumped back in the chair and closed his eyes in exhaustion. It’s been days and there’s still no change, not even the slightest hint of change. He pushes his free hand through his hair and stifles a yawn, wishing not for the first time he’d taken Jensen up on his offer of decent coffee. He realises he’s speaking out loud, telling Steve about the dire state of the coffee in the machine in the hallway, about how Jensen and Riley had all but dragged Sandy and Chris to get food and they’d tried to insist that he go with them but he refused. He talked, like he had every day, until he was hoarse and no further words would come. Falling silent, he pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled slowly.
He was speaking again before he realised it, voice barely above a whisper and thick with unshed tears. “"I ain't exactly sure what to say, 'cause I ain't been the church-goin' boy my momma raised. But the docs say they've done everything they can for Steve and now it's up to him. But I got eyes. I can see he's in bad shape and maybe needs a miracle. And the only one able to grant miracles is you.
“I figured I don’t have anything left to lose, not anymore so this is me begging you to spare him, to bring him back to me. I know how horribly selfish that makes me an’ I should care about that but I don’t. I love him and can’t bear the thought of losing him, not now, not like this.
“I’ve done a lot of shit I ain’t proud of, made some mistakes. I know I ain’t perfect but I don’t claim to be. I know that... that homosexuality is a sin and maybe you takin’ Steve is a fitting punishment considerin’ everythin’ you’ve done for me before today – you’ve given me everythin’ I could ever have dreamed of with my music an’ the show but its all... it’s just stuff. I need Steve back.
“Steve... he’s... he means everything to me. He’s always been the very best thing in my life and if I lose him now, I don’t think I could go on. I’ll do anything, I swear I will. I’ll take his place, if that’s what you want me to do. I’ll try to stop loving him, or at least actin’ on it cos from what I remember that’s the sin, a man layin’ with another man. I don’t care what it takes, I really will do anything. I just really, really need you to do this for me.
“I need you to bring my Stevie back to me.