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Heroine Addiction

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Amelia hit the arcades every day after school, because Magical Shiny Flower Power Girl Verses The Cold Ones wasn't out in consoles, and with the way the game was going, it might just be vaporware. (Though she had to wonder, did it really count as vaporware if the game was actually out in some form? She'd have to think on that.)

All in all she was a pretty normal girl, except you know, not. Because that'd be boring. She ignored her homework to play (and draw literal sparkly hearts around the arcade machine–she'd gotten in trouble for that more than once) all the Flower games, or more specifically, their amazing, gorgeous, wonderful, glorious heroine. Lunch was her favorite school subject, she was the only one allowed to pull her sister Maddie's pigtails, everyone else who tried got a roundhouse kick Chuck Norris style. Not that people were lining up to pull Maddie's pigtails, given that she was basically the human incarnation of The Invisible Girl. She was on the baseball team, and honestly part of joining up was because the choice was using baseball bats on windows with the thugs or in a game, but she was Lawful/Good (or maybe Lawful/Awesome??) so sports it was.

Either way, her life was distinctly better with baseball bats in it. Especially when she got to hit things!

She'd gotten a D- for the Who I Admire And Aspire To Be Like When I Grow Up assignment, which had mostly been her gushing about how Flower was just the prettiest, most awesome super hero in the history of ever, and the minute an asteroid hit or benevolent aliens from a dying race decided to give her some form of ancient artefact, they'd be awesome super heroes together. The teacher had the audacity to demand she write about someone real. Well, she'd show them one day, when she was kissing Flower on the front page like that one world war two image with the sailor and the nurse while both of them were doing a thumbs up sign and with rainbows in the background. Rainbows of justice.

Oh, and that she'd totally loved Wonder Woman and Scarlet Witch and Hawk Girl, right after she became just as awesome as they were and saved the world from aliens. Sometimes she thought with all these amazing women, group marriage was the only possibility. In fact, Amelia had on her bucket list get gay marriage passed in the US, then get gay GROUP marriage passed, so I can marry all the pretty ladies.. It was right under become an awesome baseball star and make women's sports into more than 'the lesbian sports watched only by lesbians and stuff'.

But nothing beat Flower. She was Amelia's favorite, bar none. She liked Flower even more than double bacon cheeseburgers, and she liked those a lot. A whole lot.

And all of this was just the daydreams of a girl who could make veritable castles in the sky (all filled with her many, many wives and their amazing adventures) all up until the game malfunctioned. Or actually started working.

She'd been playing Magical Shiny Flower Power Girl Verses The Cold Ones for ages since it got released, but there was always that one level which dropkicked her and armbarred her and then for the lulz, kicked her in the gut. Stupid clone shadows and that stupid boss level.

However, this time she beat it! The level was totally her bitch now. She owned, pwned, bought that ranch and wrote in the sky how that level was now officially yesterday's news.

Not literally, though.

The machine started getting all shiny and light bright-y (and sort of Lite Brite-y) and it made a noise sort of like a slot machine paying out. Which she was familiar with, because of the time her family had spent vacations in Vegas. She'd been sneaking out to spend time with the nice strippers ever since she was five. In fact, she used to think they were super heroes, with the feathers and the glitter and heels, they looked exactly like something out of Marvel's ultimate line. Except they'd have to have more dykey hair to make it in an Ultimate continuum comic.

Anyways, it was shiny and bright, and then, something came out! It was like a gift from the heavens, or more precisely, a gift straight from Flower to her.

She lifted it up, and saw it...looked like a sparkly purple dildo. Perfect for her lesbian adventures.

She held it up. Nothing happened. This was totally supposed to be the part where she transformed, and there were like, flowers and sparkles and bubbles and stuff. Maybe it needed batteries. She checked the bottom and found that it did, indeed, have a removable slot for batteries. Then it was from the noisiness of the arcade and off to a local convenience store where Amelia hunted some AAA batteries down. She didn't install the batteries until she was safe at home, where she could receive any and all secret encoded love letters from Flower to her.

With her heart all aflutter, she flipped it on.

It began to vibrate and sparkle, making little slivers of light over the walls, like a disco ball for her vagina. She was not sure how she was going to fight crime with this, but she damn well was going to find a way.


Assembling a crime fighting outfit was a lot harder than it looked. First she'd tried on her black leotard, but it was way too evil ballet dancer for her, so that was out. Next up, it was her American flag bikini and some red stilettos to match. Except that her boobs kept popping out whenever she tried to do a dramatic salute to the mirror, and it looked like the only crime she'd be fighting dressed like this was at a Miss America pageant. Or maybe a stripper pole.

She really wondered how girls like Wonder Woman did it. Was there magic boob powers that made your girls actually stay in the skimpy super hero outfits? Note to self: research ancient powers of boob containment.

And then, there were the shoes. Amelia groaned. Even if Lady Gaga-esque shoes had been awesome looking, and the heels would probably do a number on those baddies, her feet felt like they'd been shredded too. And she'd only been standing there for what, maybe five minutes.

"You know, this would be a lot easier if I had an adorable talking animal to help me and occasionally guilt me," Amelia said. This did not make magical cats, dogs, or reincarnations of Jeanne D'arc magically appear.

Well, it looked like she was on her own—well, not quite. There was Flower, whose poster she had on her wall. She was winking at the camera with a big thumbs up. Amelia lifted up her thumb too, like some secret salute or handshake or thumb war or something.

"Well, that's fine. I'll just be Batman!"

Just without the wealth and the habit of adopting children. She stared down at her pretty-but-painful shoes. Why couldn't she fight in sensible sports shoes?

In fact, why couldn't she? There was no unwritten law that said she had to fight in a g-string, right?

"Freedom Girl evolves into Super Sporty Dyke!" She cried out.

There was no magical puffs of air and bubbles, so instead she just changed without dramatics. Or at least, without the magical kind. She'd have to ask Flower how she did it. Magic had to be involved.

And okay, a sports bra, spandex capris and running shoes made her look more like Suburban Gym Mom: NOW WITH CRIMEFIGHTING ACTION!, but at least she was actually able to walk without tripping or feeling like her feet were in some kind of beautiful torture device.

"Maybe at level thirty-six I'll evolve to Super Lesbian Mon?" She thought aloud. She could just see it: a cute little skirt, made of rainbows. Super Lesbian Mon, showing up at the speed of light to support gay group marriage so she could marry all the super heroines!

And she almost forgot, but she had to have a mask, or then she'd just be mistaken for a jogger. Amelia tore into her closet, past her stacks of comic books, her clothes, her baseball gear until finally she found what she was looking for. With triumph, she lifted up the mask, humming the Zelda treasure chest theme while she was at it.

Now she was awesome.

She was just about to burst out and kick crime's butt when the door opened and a very pissed sister was staring at her. Madeleine's beret looked like it was about to fall off, probably from all the steam coming out of her ears. Her arms were crossed, and she had that glare that Amelia hadn't seen since the last time her sister was on the rag and bitched at her for three hours straight.

"Uh-uh, you aren't leaving me with the project again. I've been telling you for days that you need to study with me. Not that you ever listen to me, I don't even know why I bother."

Then Amelia remembered. Oh yeah, she was a high school student. TV and comics always made it seem much easier. It was okay, she could owe the universe an I owe you one night of EPIC CRIME BUSTING.

Sighing, she pulled off her mask and made her way towards the table, shoulders hunched from the fail horribleness of homework on a designated save the world night.

(Amelia had to admit that while the forces of evil were sure to be fearsome, there was nothing more scary than Maddie when she got all pissy and passive-aggressive.)


Another thing TV never told you: If you become a teenaged heroine, saving the world time comes out of your gaming time. She'd already had the Oh yeah, homework moment. Amelia usually spent her weekends in the arcades, or at home slowly giving herself carpel tunnel syndrome and vegging out to her favorite video game and ignoring that homework was a thing until Maddie would stomp in front of and drag her back to the awful world of homework.

But as it neared dusk (because everyone who knew everything knew that evil came out after dark) she was out. It was thrilling, going down the street with a baseball bat over her shoulder.

If evil came near, she'd knock them out with a home run!

That was totally her catch phrase, now.

So far, she hadn't found evil yet. There were some alley cats who needed a bath, and she'd thought about catching them for the humane society to spay and neuter them up until one scratched her arm up.

Maybe the gift from Flower was an evil tracker? Man, no one told her that evil villainy of scum would be so hard to find. She held up the purple disco wand of justice, and flipped it on. It sparkled, but there was no bat sign, no hologram with YOU ARE HERE map which showed the evil people were hanging over near Hot Topic and Victoria's Secret.

Amelia puffed out her cheeks in frustration. They really needed to make a manual for this super heroine thing. Her process of thought was interrupted by a loud rumble from her stomach. Next time she was fighting crime, she vowed, she was going to bring a bag lunch with snacks.

She walked towards the corner, where there was a 24/7 convenience store open. The streetlights flickered, and yet another alley cat yowled and ran back into the darkness. This time, she didn't try and pet it, but kept her distance. Besides, taking in stray cats was the slippery slope to becoming a cat bugler or Batman. No wait, that was orphans.

She was just scuffing her new shoes on the cracked pavement when a gunshot broke through the metered hum of the night, and Amelia was up and running towards the sound of it. Glass shattered out, exploding in an arc over the pavement. So evil was after her candy bars? Truly, evil knew no limits. And she would make sure evil would pay.

There were three girls, each in really different clothes. One had short spiky hair which looked somewhere between a high shade of platinum blonde, or actual silver. She had on loose camo pants, a camo bandana tied around her mouth, and a white shirt. In fact, Amelia wouldn't have even noticed she was a girl, except you know, boobs.

The second girl looked out of place in a tiny convenience store, and more in place in a comic book, or maybe a comic book convention. She wore a skintight black catsuit, high heeled boots, and a black mask right from a masqurade over her face. Her luxurious curly blond hair was pulled back into a ponytail.

The third girl looked out of place anywhere but a bullfighter's ring. Amelia didn't know what was up with that. Was she trying for points for originality? That was about as stealthy as a ninja in an orange jumpsuit.

"This is a stick up!" yelled the dykey camo girl.

"You think they didn't notice?" the blond girl. "This place is so tacky, can't we rob somewhere more interesting?"

"Shut up, I need my Slim Jim fix," said the girl in camo. While keeping her gun pointed on the cashier, she poured the container of Slim Jim's into a cloth bag she had handy.

"You monster," Amelia said. "Innocent hardworking people were going to eat those Slim Jims, like me!"

"Oh, snap, heroes," the army dyke girl said. "I got this. You want in on the stash? I'll share my Slim Jims with you."

"Corrupting innocent young girls into our cause is my thing," the blond girl whined. "Also, you're doing it horribly."

Amelia's stomach protested. Free Slim Jims. In fact, all she could eat. Her mind conjured up visions of a mountain of junk food, and all the latest comic books and video games which always depleted her savings. All she had to do is step forward and take the food.

An image of Flower came to her, in her adorable little skirt and flowers in her dark hair. Obviously they had some soulbond of destiny thing, and Flower was telling her to resist the power of free stuff!

"Never!" Amelia cried out. "I'll vanquish you with the gift Flower gave to me!" She lifted up the purple magic wand and turned it on. It sparkled and buzzed happily.

"'re going to dildo us to death?" the bullfighter girl said.

"I like this heroine," the blond girl said. She tossed her hair and smiled sultrily at Amelia.

The camo girl looked like she was about to add a comment, when there was a bright light behind them. Amelia turned around, and through a shower of inexplicable bubbles and flower petals there was Flower and two other girls she didn't recognize.

Flower stood in the middle, glorious and shining and awesome. There was her trademark Flower Of Power in her thick dark hair, with an adorable pink matching mask. She was, if possible, even cuter in real life. Beside her was a girl in a French maid's outfit, a pink flower behind her ear, and a black mask over her face. On the other side was a solemn looking girl, like the inversion of Flower. Where Flower was all brightness and colors, pink pleated skirt and white top with flowers on it, the girl beside her wore a similar outfit, but that seemed to be made from dark greens and whites, twisting about her like vines. The flower in her hair was white—a lotus, Amelia thought. She held in her hand what seemed to be a long staff with vines wrapping around it, a blooming lotus at the top.

Flower, the maid girl and the lotus girl had on the cutest knee-high boots with heels which Amelia couldn't have handled in a minute. She had to admire their stamina to be able to even walk in those adorable boots.

"Oh shit, not you again," camo girl said.

"It's not like I want to be here cleaning up your mess, Maria," the maid girl said.

Suddenly, the army girl–Maria smirked. "You know what they say about pianist's fingers, Liz? Your ex-girlfriend totally proved it last night."

For a moment, the maid girl–Liz froze, her knuckles clenched white with rage. Then she was reaching back and pulling out a large iron frying pan. She launched herself at Maria.

"You biiiitch!"

Maria ducked down, but Liz still managed to elbow her, knocking the piece out of Maria's fingers. The cashier, who Amelia had barely glanced at, dove behind the check out desk thing, and Amelia leapt into action. It was the pretty blond girl who appeared before her, as lithe as a cat, her fingers crooking into a come hither motion.

The power wand was back into her pocket. She couldn't have it going missing on her before she figured out just how to use it.

"So, are you going to use those skills you promised on me, chere?" She said.

"Oh, I'll show you some skills! How about a home run?"

Amelia lifted up her baseball bat and swung, just missing as the blond did a dip worthy of any limbo. And then suddenly, the pretty blond was behind her, groping her ass.

"W-what! You're so flexible," Amelia said. And gropey, she added mentally.

"That's what she said!" Maria called from the other side of the store.

Amelia whirled around, but the pretty blond girl had disappeared. She desperately looked around, holding her bat at ready. From the corner of her eye, she saw just what was happening to her other heroines-in-crimefighting. Several chips had fallen on her from where Liz the maid girl had tackled into the display. Now she was pinned under Liz the maid girl.

Liz the maid girl threw down another punch to Maria, who took it laughing.

"Shit, that tickles, Maidy," she said.

"Shut up, or I'll show you something which doesn't tickle!," Liz said.

"And you say we don't have UST," Maria drawled.

"We don't!" Liz said between gritted teeth.

"Sure we don't, sweetcheeks," Maria said. "Well, I'm tired of bottoming." She pushed her knees into Liz's chest, leaving Liz in a helpless daze for a moment as Maria freed herself.

The solemn girl moved so fast Amelia could barely keep track, she preformed some sort of martial arts with her long staff, stabbing and thrusting it towards the bullfighter girl.

"Catch me if you can," the girl in the bull fighter's outfit said. She held out her red cloth and the solemn girl vaulted into her, only to get hopelessly entrapped. The bullfighter girl pulled the out the long red cloth and jumped on the solemn girl, covering her in it. The solemn girl struggled, but the bullfighter girl held tight.

Suddenly, the pretty blond vaulted down from on top of a display where she had been perched, knocking over the entire display as she did. Candies and chips spread across the floor, and the girl in the catsuit kicked them aside.

"Aren't you going to entertain me, chere? I'm positively bored over here."
In her surprise, Amelia had dropped her bat, but she still had her two firsts. She threw a punch and finally made contact, the pretty blonde shuddering as she hit.

" hit hard, chere," she coughed, doubled over and Amelia readied herself for another blow when she felt a poke in the middle of her back.

Amelia whirled around to find no one there. The pretty girl hadn't flipped around, and all too late Amelia realized she'd been ganged up on.

"—but not hard enough."

The pretty blond did a sweep with her long legs, and knocked Amelia right off her feet. Time seemed to slow as she was falling. Somehow, the pretty girl groped her no less than three times before she hit the ground, the only thing cushioning her fall was the debris of chips and candy bars. She still hit hard, knocking the air out of her. She stared of at the ceiling beams, the florescent lights and tried to gather her wits about her. All around, she head the cries and cracks as the fight went on without her.

Being a heroine was harder than anyone had ever told her it would be.

In video games, this was so much easier. In fighting games, the other baddies would just patiently wait in line for you to beat them into a pulp. In RPGS, she had a whole bunch under her control, and from the player (or Dungeon Master's) perspective, she could keep track of everything.

But here it was wild movement, until Amelia barely knew where to start. Should she abandon fighting with the pretty blond to go help Liz or the solemn girl? And Flower was nowhere to be seen. Where was she? Had she really abandoned them?

Amelia couldn't believe it. Not Flower. She'd never abandoned anyone, unless she was like, kidnapped by skrulls or something. Then that wouldn't really be abandoning, anyways.

Amelia tired to catch her breath, tried to push herself up. She let out a cry as a black boot slowly stepped on her fingers.

"In for a little masochism, chere?"

"Even if you tie me up and beat me, I won't give up!" Amelia said.

"Hmmm! That is a tempting prospect."

She reached to her black belt, where a whip was located. With that momentary distraction, Amelia began to shift. She forced herself to pull away, to escape. She wondered if her fingers would break, but apparently all that milk did something. For a moment, the pretty blond was caught off guard, and rocked back on her heels. Amelia pulled herself away and launched herself at the other girl. They fell to the ground, rolling amongst the chips. Amelia wound up and hit her, right in the cheek.

"You—You— You punched my face, do you have any idea how much cover up it's going to take to get rid of that bruise?"

"Oh, shut up, Marianne," Maria said. Liz the maid girl was slung over her shoulder, kicking and flailing all the way. Maria patted her on the butt.

"I'm going to kill you," Liz said, her voice dangerously silky.

"I'm looking forward to seeing you try, sweetcheeks," Maria said.

Amelia had wound up for another punch, but Marianne was too quick, and made a quick jab to her breastbone, then a knee to her stomach which sent Amelia sprawling.

"All right, I'm back!"

Amelia turned, and saw Flower stepping in, pink flower petals in her long dark hair.

"Flower!" Amelia said, her heart flooding with joy.

"Sorry, Kim-Ly, Liz. I had to get the cashier to safety!" Flower said.

The solemn girl who must have been Kim-Ly burst up from under the red cloth, sending the bullfighter girl sprawling backwards. Liz finally landed a kick, and knocked Maria to her knees. She managed to get off of Maria, and kicked her in the middle of her back.

"Let's make mincemeat of them, Kim-Ly!"

She reached out to Kim-Ly's hand, and gripped it. Around them a pink aura of pink and white flower petals. She knew this attack! She'd beaten that pain-in-the-ass boss from level four with it! It was Flower's ultimate attack, with the pure refined power of the flower spirits who had given her the powers of crime fighting in the first place.

They looked glorious, resplendent and all those other SAT vocab words—and Maddie said she didn't study.

Maria sneezed. The bullfighter girl looked enthralled by the pretty sparkly colors. The pretty blond—Marianne tossed her hair and regarded them boredly.

"It works better on the powers of The Cold Ones," Flower said sheepishly.

"Well, I'm ready to blow this popsicle joint. You guys coming?" Maria said. Liz was no longer on her back, but crumbled on the floor. Amelia tried to push herself up.

She'd never give up. She'd never let them win—

Then, as if something had effected the room, the air seemed clearer, colder. Amelia tried to get up, but it was like her feet were frozen to the floor. She looked down, and saw a hint of hoarfrost between the chips and candy debris.

Looking to the other heroines, they seemed just as frozen. Kim-Ly was pulling at her leg, and Liz was trying to use her frying pan as leverage, to no avail. Flower was tugging at her boots, which seemed stuck to the floor.

The trio of thieves seemed oblivious, and certainly unaffected by whatever had happened. Maria bent down to pick up the bag, full of Slim Jims.

"I found your piece," the bullfighter girl said, coming in from one of the further isles.

"Good going!" Maria said. A loud sound of a horn set to play the theme of Godfather droned on outside.

"Well, there's our ride. Come on, Slutwoman. We're outta here," Maria said.

"I was using that name ironically after ten glasses of wine," the so-called Slutwoman said.

"Well, we made the name tags and you're stuck with it. Besides, I got Dyke Girl and Tonia got Stoned Girl, so we're about even," Maria said.

"We really need to get new name tags," Marianne said with a sigh.

"Yeah, whatever. You really need to get a new outfit, Stoned girl. That bullfighter outfit sticks out like a fucking sore thumb."

"I think it worked pretty well," Tonia, the so-called Stoned girl replied cheerfully.

"Yeah, and it's going to show on every single video cam around here. Lose it," Maria said.

"Fine, I'll borrow my girlfriend's suit and call myself Wise Girl," Tonia said.

They started towards the door. Amelia pushed up with all her might, fighting whatever had happened to reality. Slowly, bit by bit, the ice sheen in the air began to crack.

"You're not getting away!" Amelia said. She coughed and pulled herself up, stepping forward. She couldn't let herself fail here. Not with Flower so near.

"Oh aren't we, chere?" Marianne said. She smiled enigmatically and pulled out a little red ball shaped like a rose from her ample cleavage. She threw it down and a cloud of sweet-smelling pink exploded in the room. Suddenly there were rose petals and sparkles everywhere. Amelia clawed at the smoke, and heard a shriek as she collided into what she realized was Liz.

"Smooth move," Liz said.

"Sorry, I was trying to get through the smoke," Amelia said. She coughed, and felt slender fingers to her back. Through the sweet-smelling smoke was Flower. And she was looking at her and touching her oh my goooodd.

For once in her life, she was speechless. Largely because her mind was filled with basically different variations of MARRY ME, FLOWER! Then we can go off and have awesome adventures and have super hero babies! Though I don't know if it's going to be with like, alien magic rays or sperm donor. I'm cool with either.

But really, she thought, suggestions of group lesbian marriage should wait until at least the second date.

"Thanks for that, you're so amazing!" Amelia said.

"You're pretty good yourself," Flower said, with a smile. She was smiling at her!

Kim-Ly cleared her throat, looking less than please. "Meihua, we have to get going. Flora will need to know this. I don't know who this trio is, but they have a Cold One on their side on their side."

Meihua nodded solemnly. "I think this goes deeper than either of us know. That was a powerful attack which none of us were expecting. I didn't realize there was a fourth member, or that the Bad Friends had expanded."

Amelia, meanwhile, had gotten distracted at Meihua. She could just say it over and over, it was so pretty–and what, some mention of evil?

Then the girls were moving away, and Amelia was knocked out of her reverie.

"Wait—! I haven't thanked you yet," Amelia called. Amelia pulled out the magic wand again and held it up.

Meihua turned back. Her eyes widened at the sight of Amelia's magic wand.

"Um," she said.

Kim-Ly looked taken aback, Liz giggled.

"I got this out of the game. You know, Magical Shiny Flower Power Girl Verses The Cold Ones? I got a high score and it just came out. So that's when I knew I was a heroine," Amelia said.

"...I'm sure destiny was involved somehow!" Meihua said brightly.

"But I really do have to go. I hope we meet again—"

"Amelia!" She said, completely forgetting about her secret name. Which she didn't technically have yet.

"Amelia, then," Meihua said with a little smile which made Amelia's heart do somersaults.

Then in a flash of flower petals, all three girls were gone.

Amelia was just about to leave, when she noticed a familiar beret in the debris. She bent to pick it up. There was no doubt about it, this was Maddie's beret, she recognized it from the little leaf pin Maddie had gotten on her last trip to Quebec. She picked it up and made her way out, even ignoring the possibility of free stuff! with the candy and chips scattered all over.

Because being a heroine was the real deal, even if it meant turning down free stuff.


When Amelia came home, it was all quiet on their little street just outside the city. They had a yard and everything, even with a big tree near her window with a tire swing. The lights were dim on the two-story brick house. Amelia bent for the key in the fake rock. Arthur's dark coat hung on that evil coatrack thingie which she'd been convinced was possessed when she was younger. She gave it a long, hard look. Even older, she wasn't convinced it wasn't possessed. The top looked like an evil tree in every fairytale she'd ever read, and it was of a dark black wood which wasn't even painted, so Amelia had always been convinced it was stained with evil.

"Now that I'm a heroine, you better watch out. I can beat you up if you try anything," Amelia said, giving it a heroine grade stink eye.

The coatrack did not reply. Maybe it was a little less evil today.

Amelia kicked off her shoes and made her way towards the kitchen. There was a bunch of empty beer bottles in the sink, no surprise there. The dirty dishes were a surprise, though. Maddie usually kept the house in order in about every way possible. She ordered take out, cooked meals, cleaned up afterwards and made Amelia do her homework. By all means, she'd stepped up when mom had died, and Arthur had gone from "dad" to "Arthur."

Amelia could just picture her, collapsed over her textbooks after a night of cramming. It seemed Maddie never slacked off to play video games or read comics. She probably didn't have time.

No sound to be heard, and Arthur's coat and shoes were at the door. He must had gone to sleep early again. Or to be more precise, passed out. Amelia puffed out her cheeks. There was no dinner, so Maddie must've already eaten. Her stomach growled like a bear, or a tiger, or something else really badass. She made her way up the beige carpeted stairs. Maddie's room was small and lacking in the awesome super heroine posters which covered Amelia's, but largely the same in size and the same beige carpet and white walls. Also, it was a great deal cleaner. Maddie was just closing the window. Her text books were stacked on the desk, unopened.

"Hey, Maddie!"

Maddie jerked back in fright.

"I didn't mean to sneak up on you, but it's cool to hear that I'm stealthy like Batman," Amelia said.

"You wish, I could hear you slam the door all the w-way from up here," Maddie said.

Amelia noticed that Maddie's pigtails were a bit messy, and most glaring of all, no beret. Maddie began to meticulously smooth her pleated blue skirt. Something had her on edge, but Amelia figured it was just her getting all worried about grades again.

"Hey, I found this while I was out....getting milk," Amelia said. She tossed the beret Maddie's way. Maddie paled as she turned it over.

"I was looking all over for that, where was it?"

"Uh, convenience store," Amelia said.

"Ahhhh," Maddie said. "I-I see..."

"You went and didn't get me any Slim Jims?" Amelia said with a pout. "There isn't take out or leftovers in here anywhere."

Maddie bent down and pulled out a few Slim Jims from her little duffle with a polar bear on in. She tossed them Amelia's way, and Amelia caught them.

"I was going to give them to you, but you weren't around," Maddie said. "Because you were, you know...getting milk."

But Amelia didn't hear her, as she was already digging in. Mmm, victory tasted like Slim Jims, and maybe a double bacon cheeseburger, and a milkshake....

This only reminded her that she never got to eat. And as great as Slim Jims were, woman could not live on Slim Jims alone! Especially with the super heroing that must've burnt a ton of calories.

"You want a burger, Maddie?" Amelia asked.

"No thanks, I've got to study," Maddie said.

Amelia was just about to do the regular non-super hero thing of using the door but psah.

"Open the window, Maddie!" Amelia called.

Looking more than a little perplexed, Maddie did. Amelia took a running start. She leapt out and caught the tree limb, swinging for a moment before she landed on the grass. It hurt a bit, but she had to practice her dramatic entries, being a heroine and all.

She took a running start straight towards the city and McDonalds. She was going to have all the burgers and all the shakes. And then she'd bring one back for Maddie too, because Maddie worked really hard. She'd even put off her studying to go get food from the store to stock up on the pantry.

On the way there, she could only marvel at how it all fallen into place. She'd kicked ass and didn't get any bubblegum, but she met Meihua! How awesome was that?

If Amelia ever got around to writing her awesome memoirs, today would be a big turning point. Tomorrow, she'd have to work on her homework, and maybe get some icy-hot because nobody told you that going to an inn and sleeping it off didn't heal all your wounds in the real world.

But, even as awesome as video games were, nothing beat real life super heroing. Except maybe double bacon cheeseburgers, and very little in life was better than double cheeseburgers. Though Meihua was definitely one of them.