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A Brief Introduction to Online Fantasy Hockey

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Cover art made by fishpatrol.

Story written by scintilla10;
podfic recorded by fishpatrol and applegeuse, and featuring scintilla10 (CommissionerBob), hananobira (Taylor Crosby/TCroz), the24thkey (Lukas007), and takola (HabsFan) as guest readers.

29 minutes, 40 seconds

To download, right click & save as:

mp3 (20.6 MB) or m4b (14.3 MB)
also available at the audiofic archive

Or listen to a streaming version here:

Super Fantasy Hockey League General Discussion Forum
Topic: About Me - The Super Fantasy Hockey League Introduction Thread!

posted by: CommissionerBob

Use this thread to introduce (or re-introduce) yourself. Lots of people are new so don't be shy!

I'm Bob. I live in Regina at the moment, working in healthcare, but at heart I'm an Edmonton boy. My team is the Edmonton Wolfpack. I'm the league facilitator, so please contact me if you have any questions or concerns. Can't wait for puck drop!

 

posted by: sid87

Hello, everyone. I'm Sidney, and I live in Halifax, Nova Scotia. I've been in this league for five years now. I also play in three local leagues in the winter, ball hockey in the summer, and of course, fantasy hockey. I'm a really dedicated fantasy hockey GM, so I guess this is your warning that I won't take it easy on any of you. Haha.

When I'm not playing hockey, I'm an elementary school teacher.

My team is called the Halifax Harpooners, and we're the defending champs of the league. I really like talking about hockey, so email me if any of you want to talk. If you prefer to text, email me and I'll give you my new number. I'm open to talking to any of the rookie GMs, too.

-- Sidney, General Manager, Halifax Harpooners

 

posted by: Lukas007

hey! I'm Lukas. I'm from Munich, but right now I'm studying political science at Berkeley.

This is my second year in the league, and based on last year's stats, I think we all know this is my rebuilding year, lol! I'm looking forward to our league draft -- Number 1 Draft pick yeahhhh!! Haven't decided who I'm scooping up yet, people, so don't get too excited. But I'm totally open to all trade suggestions, so hit me up.

 

posted by:TCroz

Hey everyone! I'm Taylor, and unfortunately I'm related to that loser Sid up there. I go to school in Minnesota, and I'm the goalie on my team -- yes, I'm a crazy goalie WATCH OUT.

The team I'm running is the Minnesota Miners, and I'm going to clobber all of you guys this year. Especially you, Sid. Good luck, but you have no chance. :)

 

posted by: hockeybest

Hello. My name is Evgeni. First time fantasy hockey)))) I join to practice English. Also hockey!!

I live in Magnitogorsk in Russia. You know of?

My team is Pittsburgh Eagles.

My english only okay but hockey best))))

 

posted by: TCroz

Hey Evgeni! Great to have you in the league! Don't worry about your English skills -- these jerks have more trouble with the language than you do, and they grew up speaking it, lol.

 

posted by: sid87

Hi, Evgeni. It's awesome to have someone from Russia in the league. I've been following some of the players in the KHL for a while, and I'd love to talk to you about them sometime. My email's in my profile. And let me know if you have any questions about how our league runs that you don't want to bother Bob about.

-- Sidney, General Manager, Halifax Harpooners

 

posted by: HabsFan

Oh my god, Sid, let him get settled in before you hound him with a million annoying questions!! Don't worry about him, Evgeni, he's a hockey nut but he's harmless.

Are those parentheses the way you make smiley faces in Russia or something?

Also, hi, I'm Niamh, and I'm the biggest Habs fan outside of Montreal. I'm originally from Ireland, but I've lived all over the world, and at the moment, I'm a lawyer in DC. My team is called the Montreal All-Stars. Go Montreal!!

 

posted by: hockeybest

OK to call Geno. Easier to spell)))))

 

posted by: TCroz

Haha, Geno, don't worry, some of these guys can't spell their way out of a paper bag.

I kid, you guys, I kid. ;)

 

 

~~~

From: e.malkin@mail.ru
To: sidneycrosby87@gmail.com
Subject: khl best

Hi Sid,

You want talk about KHL? I know many.

Evgeni

 

From: sidneycrosby87@gmail.com
To: e.malkin@mail.ru
Subject: RE: khl best

Hey Evgeni,

Thanks for writing to me. Obviously I follow the NHL the most closely, but the leagues overseas have a lot of interesting stuff going on. I don't agree with you that the KHL is the "best," but there are some amazing players there, and the style of hockey is really exciting. I'd love to talk with you sometime about your thoughts on the length of the KHL season.

Also, did you mean you've met a lot of KHL players? Do you go to games often?

In Halifax, we aren't very close to an NHL team, so I don't have the opportunity to see many games live. I have seasons tickets to our local CHL team, though, who won the Memorial Cup this year.

Sidney

 

From: e.malkin@mail.ru
To: sidneycrosby87@gmail.com
Subject: RE: RE: khl best

Know many KHL hockey players. I play in KHL one year before injury. Go to games sometimes.

I look halifax up on map. Good city? CHL better than no team)))

 

From: sidneycrosby87@gmail.com
To: e.malkin@mail.ru
Subject: RE: RE: RE: khl best

You didn't tell us you'd played in the KHL. I definitely want to know more about it. What team did you play for? What position? How did you get injured? If you don't want to talk about your injury, that's okay, too.

I played for most of a season in a minor league in Quebec, though I decided not to play hockey professionally for personal reasons. But I do know some things about what playing hockey is like.

By the way, do you have a chat client? It would be really great if we could set up a time to chat. If you want, I mean.

Halifax is a good city, yeah. I grew up near here, so it's home.

 

From: e.malkin@mail.ru
To: sidneycrosby87@gmail.com
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: khl best

Play one year Metallurg Magnitogorsk. I play forward. Hurt knee in playoffs(((( Not much else to say.

One year is more than Sid, yes? Give stats? We see who better))))

I chat yes. On weekend.

 

From: sidneycrosby87@gmail.com
To: e.malkin@mail.ru
Subject: Don't start something you can't finish
Attachment: Stats-2012-13.xls

 

 

~~~

Super Fantasy Hockey League General Discussion Forum
Topic: And we're off!

posted by: TCroz

Now that the first week of games is over, how does everyone feel? Air your grievances! (Or your trade talk, if that's what your team needs, lol!)

I know my team's not out to the early lead like some people (Sid!!), but we're stealthy. ;) Now if only Tavares will put up some points for me!

 

posted by: Lukas007

wow just so happy hockey is back!!! Summer is the worst, dudes.

 

posted by: sid87

The only thing better than watching hockey games is playing hockey.

-- Sidney, General Manager, Halifax Harpooners

 

posted by: hockeybest

Hard to watch games in Russia. Unless I want no sleep))))

 

posted by: Lukas007

Wow, man, that time difference is rough. I remember getting up stupidly early to watch games when I was growing up in Germany. you're hardcore!!!

 

 

~~~

sid87: Hi, are you on?
Geno: yes
Geno: hi
sid87: Hi.
sid87: Did you watch the Pens-Flyers game last night?
Geno: game in morning for russia)))))
sid87: Oh, right. Did you watch?
Geno: third period only. wake up 5am.
Geno: nealsy look good!!
sid87: Yeah, that was a good third period.
sid87: I still can't believe you traded Martin St. Louis for James Neal.
Geno: jealous??
sid87: No.
sid87: But Neal did put up a few points for you last night, so he's doing okay.
Geno: ha big praise from sid!!
sid87: Hey, I praise people.
Geno: praise students doesn't count
Geno: or Taylor
sid87: Oh, shut up, I praise more people than that.
sid87: Also, I don't compliment Taylor anymore. Her ego's already too big.
Geno: taylor good goalie?
sid87: Yes.
Geno: best??
sid87: Haha. Yes.
Geno: I tell her you say))))))
sid87: You better not. She'll be terrible about it.
sid87: Glad you caught part of the game, anyway.
Geno: nealsy help me win cup)))
sid87: Yeah, sure, you keep believing that.
sid87: Would've been better to watch the game with someone, though.
Geno: all canadians not watch hockey together?((((((
sid87: Haha.
sid87: No.
sid87: I just meant maybe we could try to watch a game together sometime.
sid87: On chat.
sid87: If you want.
Geno: yes)))))))))))
Geno: next red wings game?
Geno: datsyuk get many goals))))
sid87: Sometimes I think you're trying to draft all the Russians onto your team.
Geno: pasha best)))
Geno: russia best)))))
sid87: Haha, okay, okay.
Geno: one day you trade ovi to me, yes?
sid87: Not while he's on this great points streak, I won't.
Geno: ((((((
sid87: That's not going to work on me.
Geno: ((((((((((
sid87: Seriously, it won't work.
sid87: Right, okay, the Wings are playing Phoenix on Saturday. Are you okay with getting up early on Sunday to watch?
Geno: will live
Geno: for hockey
sid87: Okay. Awesome.
sid87: Anyway, I have to leave for work soon. My class is having a guest speaker in today, so I have to get there early.
Geno: okay sid. go teach.
sid87: Okay. Talk to you soon.
sid87: Bye.
Geno: bye!!

 

~~~

To: Taylor Crosby
From: Sidney Crosby

Since I know how much you love this time of year, here's a picture of my class in their Halloween costumes.

 

To: Sidney Crosby
From: Taylor Crosby

unbelievably cute! :D what about u?? same old hockey costume?

 

To: Taylor Crosby
From: Sidney Crosby

There is nothing wrong with being a hockey player for Halloween. And for your information, I was not a hockey player this year.

 

From: Taylor Crosby
To: Sidney Crosby

GASP

 

From: Taylor Crosby
To: Sidney Crosby

ok that was ur cue to tell me what u were

 

From: Sidney Crosby
To: Taylor Crosby

I was a fireman.

 

From: Taylor Crosby
To: Sidney Crosby

OMG!!!

 

From: Taylor Crosby
To: Sidney Crosby

u should tell geno. did u see him tell lukas in the off-topic thread that his second choice for his team name was the firemen???

 

From: Taylor Crosby
To: Sidney Crosby

U TOTALLY REMEMBERED THAT DIDN'T U

 

 

~~~

Geno: hi sid
sid87: Hey.
sid87: How are you?
Geno: good. and you?
sid87: Great.
sid87: One of the teams I play on had a game last night.
Geno: sid win??
sid87: Yes. Final score was 4-2.
Geno: sid score?
sid87: Yes. Twice.
Geno: no hat trick?? disappointed.
sid87: Haha. No, no hat trick.
Geno: tell about score
sid87: Actually, we had a great play in the second. An intercepted pass at the blue line led to a nice rebound.
Geno: rebound right to sid? poor goalie)))
sid87: Well, lots of guys on the team could have made the shot.
sid87: It's just about practice and hard work.
sid87: Ravi does need to work on his slapshot, though.
Geno: one day i see sid play for real
Geno: will cheer very loud!!
sid87: That would be amazing.
sid87: Maybe one day we can play on the ice together.
Geno: yes better
Geno: i help sid score hat trick)))
sid87: Maybe you'll score a hat trick. I looked up some clips of you on youtube.
sid87: You're amazing.
Geno: not since knee
Geno: but thanks))
sid87: It's just the truth. I'd love to play with you.
sid87: Maybe one day.
Geno: yes one day)))

 

~~~

From: e.malkin@mail.ru
To: sidneycrosby87@gmail.com
Subject:

Sid watch any games this weekend? I free for chat and watch.

 

From: sidneycrosby87@gmail.com
To: e.malkin@mail.ru
Subject: Sounds great.

Anytime you like. I don't have plans.

Maybe we could try talking on skype sometime. If you wanted.

 

From: e.malkin@mail.ru
To: sidneycrosby87@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Sounds great

Sid need more friends who like hockey. like me)))))

 

From: sidneycrosby87@gmail.com
To: e.malkin@mail.ru
Subject: Too bad you live so far away, though.

Sometimes I watch games with people. My roommates aren't into hockey as much as me, though, so a lot of the time it's just me watching at home with my dog.

 

From: e.malkin@mail.ru
To: sidneycrosby87@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Too bad you live so far away, though.
Attachment: 1390812.jpg

Sid like dogs? Have dog, too. Name is Jeffrey!

Send me picture. Sid and dog)))))

Skype okay too!! I set up account and add you.

 

From: sidneycrosby87@gmail.com
To: e.malkin@mail.ru
Subject: RE: RE: Too bad you live so far away, though.
Attachment: Sam-lake-2013.jpg

My dog's name is Sam.

 

From: e.malkin@mail.ru
To: sidneycrosby87@gmail.com
Subject: !!!!!!

Look good))))))

 

 

~~~

Super Fantasy Hockey League General Discussion Forum
Topic: Going to games?

posted by: HabsFan

The Habs are playing twice in DC this month!! I have tix to the 2nd game, totally stoked. Anyone else going to live games soon?

 

posted by: TCroz

Wish I could. ):

 

posted by: sid87

I've been to lots of CHL games this year.

 

posted by: hockeybest

KHL game only. maybe i make trip to usa this year, watch NHL game)))))))

 

posted by: HabsFan

Yeah, Geno, you totally should!

 

posted by: CommissionerBob

I saw the Oilers beat Toronto a few weeks ago. It was a sweet game.

 

posted by: sid87

Wait, Geno, are you serious about a trip to North America? When are you thinking about and where are you going?

 

posted by: TCroz

Calm down, Sid.

Geno, I'm not sure if you realize how much my brother wants you to visit Canada.

 

posted by: hockeybest

possible))))))

 

 

~~~

Geno: hi
Geno: sorry I leave earlier
sid87: That's okay.
sid87: I mean, I wasn't worried or anything.
Geno: brother was here. he ask about you!!
sid87: Me?
Geno: want to know who I always talking on internet
sid87: Oh, right.
Geno: now he know it about hockey)))
sid87: Oh, right.
Geno: and more than hockey yes?
sid87: Right. English practice, too.
Geno: i keep sid from being friendless
Geno: important work)))))
sid87: Yeah, well, I still won't trade Ovechkin to you.
Geno: sid cruel to his only friend
sid87: You're such a dork.
sid87: Does your brother play hockey, too?
Geno: no
Geno: i talented brother
sid87: Oh, right, sure. You tell him that?
Geno: every day)))
Geno: we skype this weekend?
sid87: Yes.
sid87: Looking forward to it.

 

~~~

From: Sidney Crosby
To: Taylor Crosby

Do you think this blue shirt looks okay?

 

From: Taylor Crosby
To: Sidney Crosby

is there some1 ur trying to impress? :D

 

From: Sidney Crosby
To: Taylor Crosby

No. I just want to make sure I look okay.

 

From: Taylor Crosby
To: Sidney Crosby

I'm calling u right now. pick up or else.

 

 

~~~

To: e.malkin@mail.ru
From: sidneycrosby87@gmail.com
Subject: Hi

Hey. I haven't heard from you for a few days. I hope I didn't freak you out with that stuff I said on Skype about your smile. It's just that I had an idea in my head about what your smile looked like. I guess because of the emoticons you always use. But the reality was just different. And I was nervous. So, um, sorry. I didn't mean to make things awkward or uncomfortable. I didn't think my sexuality would matter to you. I mean, we're friends. Right?

Sidney

 

To: e.malkin@mail.ru
From: sidneycrosby87@gmail.com
Subject: Me again

Hey. You still haven't written me back and it's starting to really freak me out.

Please write me back.

Sidney

 

 

~~~

Super Fantasy Hockey League General Discussion Forum
Topic: Trade Offer

posted by: sid87

Hi, everyone. This may come as a surprise to some of you, but I'm putting Ovechkin up for trade. Contact me for details.

~Sidney, General Manager, Halifax Harpooners

 

posted by: HabsFan

What?? What's happened? He scored three times in the last two games!

 

posted by: TCroz

Sid, has your account been hacked?

 

posted by: Lukas007

where is geno?? can't believe he doesn't want in on this!!

 

 

~~~

To: sidneycrosby87@gmail.com
From: e.malkin@mail.ru
Subject: RE: Me again

Hi Sid,

You not need worry about me. I not care if you like men. Or if you like smile))))) I like men and smile also.

Is good practice to talk in skype for my english but is hard. Have to think fast. Not used to it. I make conversation awkward.

Sorry I not answer for long time. Make you worry? I have lots of work. Make plans.

You really want trade Ovechkin? Taylor tell me you lose mind!!

 

To: e.malkin@mail.ru
From: sidneycrosby87@gmail.com
Subject: RE: RE: Me again

You didn't make things awkward. I'm just glad I didn't ruin things between us. And don't worry, your English is good. Really good. We can practice it again on skype. Only if you want.

I don't really want to trade Ovechkin. I wanted to check that you were still around, and weren't just ignoring me. But since I offered him up, we can talk trades if you think you have anything decent to offer me.

What kind of plans are you making? You don't have to answer, obviously.

Sidney

 

To: sidneycrosby87@gmail.com
From: e.malkin@mail.ru
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Me again

I have offer for you))))) skype again?

Will tell plans soon.

 

 

~~~

Super Fantasy Hockey League General Discussion Forum
Topic: Current Standings Discussion Post

posted by: CommissionerBob

Standings have now been updated! Sorry for the delay.

This week was a bit of an upset! There are still a lot of games left in the season, but cry your rivers of joy, sorrow, or anger here.

 

posted by: TCroz

Yesssss, I'm first in the league. Go Minnesota Miners!!

 

posted by: hockeybest

Sid not first? Big surprise!! maybe he lose talent.

 

posted by: Lukas007

dudes, I'm just glad I'm not dead last!!! thank god for Toews for putting up major points for my team.

 

posted by: HabsFan

Geno, if you're still going to Montreal when you come out to visit, give Carey Price a high five for me, will ya? He's a rock this year!

 

posted by: hockeybest

Yes, Sid take us to montreal. I cheer loud for habs)))))

 

posted by: sid87

Hey, I'm not trailing by much, Taylor. Watch your back.

And Geno, I haven't lost anything. I'm just a little distracted lately.

 

posted by: TCroz

Hey, Geno, I think that means that whatever you're doing is working! Keep up those distractions, and I might just win the Cup this year!

 

posted by: sid87

Oh, shut up, Taylor.

 

 

~~~

Epilogue

Sidney looked up again at the arrivals board. By now, he had the details of every single flight memorized. He'd been so determined not to be late that he'd arrived way too early and, since he'd forgotten to bring a book with him, he was stuck staring at the flight board. Maybe it was for the best. He was too nervous to read, anyway.

The glass doors into the arrivals area slid open again and a trickle of people came through. Sidney craned his neck, but when he saw an unmistakable figure stepping through the doors, he was struck for a moment with his breath caught in his throat. The way Geno ducked his head was instantly recognizable -- but at the same time, seeing him in person was indescribably different from seeing him through a webcam. He was here, in Sidney's own city.

He stepped forward, and called out, "Geno! Hey!"

Geno turned and, when his gaze landed on Sidney, he waved. A bright crooked grin lit up his whole face, and he hoisted his laptop bag over his shoulder and strode in Sidney's direction.

"Hi," Geno said, as they stopped just in front of one another.

Up close, Geno's eyes were warm and dark, crinkling at the corners. Sidney stared at him for a moment, breathless with anticipation. It was almost the same feeling he had when he was about to step out onto a fresh sheet of ice with new skates; the world felt familiar and fragile and full of possibility all at the same time.

"You're here," he said finally.

"Here," Geno agreed. "With you."

"Finally," Sidney added, and he could feel a flush rise on his cheeks, but he didn't care because Geno was smiling at him again and reaching out to pull him into a hug. The laptop bag smacked him on the hip as he wrapped his arms around Geno, overwhelmed with how good he smelled even under the layer of stale airplane air. Sidney felt Geno's hand twist in his T-shirt, and he was abruptly aware of everywhere their bodies were touching and how long he'd waited for that feeling. His heart pounded in his chest, and he wanted to turn his head and kiss Geno's throat, but it suddenly seemed like an unbearably private thing to do in the middle of an airport arrivals lounge. They hadn't actually talked about what their first kiss would be like. And even though they'd done their fair share of other things over Skype, many of which would definitely not be appropriate in an airport arrivals lounge, Sidney kept hesitating.

But when he pulled back far enough to meet Geno's gaze, he changed his mind. This was the surest he'd felt in a long time. He glanced down at Geno's mouth, and then back up to his eyes. "Is this okay?" he said quietly, and he was pretty sure from the expression on Geno's face that Geno knew exactly what he meant.

"Yes, Sid," Geno said, and his voice was deep and rough and hit Sidney low in the gut. He couldn't do anything except lean forward and press their lips together, ignoring the other people around them and concentrating all his attention on Geno: the way his nose bumped into Sidney's, the way his slightly chapped lips felt under Sidney's tongue, the way his breath stuttered into Sidney's mouth. Sidney hummed as Geno's mouth fell open a little. When he leaned into Geno's lanky body, it felt like the months of distance were slowly easing away.

"Two weeks isn't going to be enough time," he said breathlessly, when they pulled apart. "I might have to make you stay longer."

"Only the beginning," Geno promised.

"Yeah," Sidney agreed, smiling, and took Geno's hand.