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Day 11: Rule 21

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Puck’s Rules of Zombie Survival, #21: The only holiday that matters is Z-Day

It’s not that Puck doesn’t see the appeal in familiar rituals and holidays, but all that trying to celebrate them will do is make them remember what they’ve lost, in Puck’s opinion. Independence Day without fireworks, Halloween without candy, and Valentine’s Day without imported roses—why should they torture themselves like that? No, the only day they’ll mark on a calendar is Z-Day, because that’s the only day that matters in what’s left of their world.


“It’s just one day,” Kurt says, after Tina takes a weeping Finn down to visit the two chickens they’ve managed to keep alive these past months in the new farmhouse. “It’s one exception. It would obviously mean a lot to Finny.”

Puck sighs. “Yeah, it’s just one day, Stud, but it’s one day that’s going to highlight everything we don’t have. It’s not like we can pick up a fully cooked ham or a prelit tree or anything like that.”

“Tee and I can cut one of the small trees near the fence line. You and I can go a little farther out, try some of the houses we haven’t gotten to yet,” Kurt says. “They might have ornaments, stockings, maybe even a canned ham or something. Just let us have this Christmas, Butterfly. Nothing says we have to do it again next year.”

“Yeah, right,” Puck says, leveling a dubious look at Kurt. “You know Finny’ll expect it every year, even if you and Tee don’t.”

“Next year we’ll have Z-Day. He wasn’t good with dates even when he was—” Kurt breaks off with a loud sigh. “I’m just saying that I think he’ll be satisfied with some candles and a special dinner next year.”

Puck frowns, then looks out the window for a few minutes before turning back to Kurt. “I guess we have been putting off a longer run. It’s been at least three weeks since we saw a Zombie around. If we get the ditch around the fence done by Saturday, we could leave Tee here and us go for a run.”

“Tell Finny it’s the only way Santa comes, and he’ll have the ditch done before the day is over,” Kurt says.

“Yeah, probably,” Puck admits. “He never has gotten as excited for any other holiday besides Christmas.”

“And if Christmas is what set him off, maybe indulging him just this first time will let us at least get a few weeks with Missy before the next Finny appearance,” Kurt says. “It’s already too hard to predict what he’s going to do day-to-day. It wouldn’t take much to make him happy.”

Puck grins wryly. “So alternatively we could have Christmas a few times each winter?” he jokes.

“If Christmas calms him down, we can have Christmas in the middle of the summer for all I care,” Kurt says.

Puck sobers and crosses the kitchen, running his hand down Kurt’s arm. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

“Not enough daylight to make a run today,” Kurt says, catching Puck’s hand in his. “Tee and Finny’ll probably be down with the chickens for a while. We could continue this conversation some place warmer and more horizontal.”

“I like the way you think, Stud,” Puck says, grinning. “I have something on my Christmas list, though.”

“If you say Jergens Natural Glow I’m smothering you in a snow drift.”

Puck laughs and kisses Kurt before responding. “Nope, I’ll skip having a glowing ass. But if we’re making a run, maybe you and me should try to find another Costco.” He smirks at Kurt for a second. “Get you some Jelly Bellies.”

“I was already trying to get you in bed, Butterfly. Don’t have to give me the hard sell,” Kurt says, laughing.

Puck’s smirk comes back, wider than before. “I just feel like you shouldn’t think romance is dead.”

“Oh, no,” Kurt assures. “I’m aware that romance is very much alive, and that it begins and ends with Costco.”