There was one thing about all of this that Merlin is sure of - this isn’t about luck. Merlin had never considered himself a lucky person. It wasn’t luck that caused him to be the only magical freak in his small hometown of Ealdor, with only one friend that would have him.
It wasn’t luck when his favorite uncle Gaius died and his mother inherited his spacious house, some might even call it a mansion, in Camelot - a town Merlin had never even heard of.
It wasn’t luck when a spell gone awry led to the smashed front window of their new neighbor’s home. It wasn’t luck that had Merlin falling for said neighbor, Arthur Pendragon, at first sight.
And despite appearances to the contrary, it wasn’t luck that now had Merlin on all fours with Arthur balls deep in his arse.
It wasn’t luck. It was planning...with the help of a little magic.
Ever since Merlin was a kid he had trouble keeping control of his magic. It was almost as if it had a mind of its own. But he had learned to control it and use it to his advantage by the time he was a teenager. But when he met Arthur, something inside of him just ignited and it was as if all of his magic was trying to burst from his body. He’d never had that kind of a reaction to another person before. Something about Arthur connected to the deepest part of himself, and it scared Merlin senseless. It didn’t hurt that Arthur’s blonde hair, blue eyes, and seeming intelligence were exactly, secretly, Merlin’s type.
At first he tried to avoid Arthur when he could. But his mother loved everyone, a trait Merlin usually found endearing - except for now when she would constantly invite Arthur over and, even worse, volunteer Merlin for odd jobs around Arthur’s house.
It wasn’t exactly a hardship. Merlin had never met anyone who seemed to be as allergic to wearing a shirt as Arthur. Maybe it should have unnerved Merlin that a grown man would walk around half-dressed while spending so much time around such a younger man, but Merlin’s teenage hormones overruled his brain. He spent too much time gazing at Arthur’s rock hard abs and practically fell over the first time Arthur bent over and revealed his perfect apple-shaped ass.
And even though he thought he must be rapidly losing brain cells due to the loss of blood to his brain, he started to think that Arthur might be attracted to him to. One day, he was working in Arthur’s garden. It was a blisteringly hot day, and Merlin felt that even his eyeballs were sweating. He stripped out of his shirt and bend over to pull out some weeds. He felt a pair of eyes bore into his back. At first it felt a little unsettling, but when he looked over his shoulder Arthur was nowhere around. But all throughout the day, he would get that feeling again. It didn’t feel discomfiting this time, it felt like a hand gentle gliding down his back, before that feeling spread all over and he felt sparks all across his body. He got up quickly and left before his obvious erection led to more embarrassment than he could possibly stand.
No matter how hard he tried Merlin couldn’t get Arthur out of his head. And he couldn’t stop thinking it was possible that the attraction was reciprocal. Merlin could swear that Arthur deliberately cornered him after the latter went jogging to talk about the most inane of topics while improbably flexing his prominent biceps and other assorted muscles. After a while, Merlin had switched to constantly wearing baggy sweat pants to avoid humiliating incidents.
But it was ridiculous. There was no way that a well off, sophisticated, smart man like Arthur could be interested in a lanky young oddball like him. It had to be his imagination.
Except it wasn’t. And Merlin found that out definitively after he and his mother came back from their Christmas holiday visit to Ealdor. At first nothing seemed out of the ordinary when Merlin stepped into his room. But his magic started to flare up and something didn’t feel right. Merlin couldn’t figure out what was happening and tried to ignore it. But when he sat down at his computer, he accidentally knocked over the golden dragon figurine next to his computer. For some reason, after he bent over to pick it up, he turned it over and saw a small electronic device inside.
Merlin fumbled the dragon in his hand before quickly putting it down again. There was a camera pointed at his bed and he had no idea how long it had been there. He clutched his stomach and tried to squelch down the sick feeling that bubbled up. After he took a deep breath, he realized that perhaps he had jumped to conclusions. He picked up the dragon again and pulled out the device. It was definitely a camera and there were small letters on the bottom that said “P. Tech.” That was Arthur’s company - Pendragon Technologies.
After dry heaving in the bathroom, Merlin’s revulsion was quickly superseded by white hot rage. He stormed over to Arthur’s place. Luckily, Arthur was at work and luckily, Merlin didn’t have to resort to breaking a window to get into Arthur’s place. He used his powers and stormed into Arthur’s place. He wasted no time and went to Arthur’s bedroom. A few hours ago, this would have been such a wonderful fantasy, but Merlin was on a mission now and had no stars in his eyes when it came to Arthur Pendragon.
Naively, when he walked into Arthur’s room, he half expected there to be surveillance monitors all around, but Merlin soon realized that Arthur wouldn’t be that stupid. When he spotted Arthur’s laptop on his bed, he sprinted over and sat down and opened it up. Merlin’s magic made quick work of the security on Arthur’s computer. As soon as he’d made it past the opening screen, he saw a video image pop up - one that was heartbreakingly familiar.
Merlin had to tamp down the overwhelming desire to smash Arthur’s computer to pieces. He sat with his head in his hands and wondered why Arthur would do this. What had he hoped to see? Merlin’s hands slowly slid down his face. Of course, he knew what Arthur had been hoping for. He wanted to catch Merlin at his most vulnerable. He wanted to see the moments when Merlin was alone and would let his guard down. He wanted to see the most intimate moments of Merlin’s life. It was sick and it was twisted and Merlin felt utter disgust.
But it wasn’t just disgust for Arthur. It was disgust at himself. For as angry as he was at Arthur, there was a part of himself that fought to the surface that was actually...flattered that someone like Arthur wanted him so badly that he would do something like that...Merlin never thought he would spark such desire in another person, especially not someone like Arthur, someone that Merlin wanted so badly.
To Merlin’s horror, but sadly not to his surprise, he could feel himself hardening painfully. He didn’t stop to think about where he was as he slowly unzipped his pants and palmed his painful erection. He lay back on the pillow and closed his eyes and imagined Arthur watching him. He enclosed his aching hardness and quickly stroked himself. Before he knew it he came - all over Arthur’s bed. His eyes flew open and he jumped off the bed. He went to Arthur’s bathroom and got a towel and rubbed at the stains.
His tears started to gradually mix in to the cum stained sheets and rubbed harder and harder. Nothing was going to erase the shame and disgust he felt at himself. It was pathetic. He was pathetic. How could he find what Arthur did hot? How could he still want him so badly? But want Arthur, he still did. If anything the lust and desire he had for Arthur was even more intense. Something snapped inside of Merlin and he stood up and directed his hand at the sheets and removed the evidence of his twisted longing.
He stared down at Arthur’s computer and an idea formed. If this was how Arthur wanted it, fine. But Merlin could give as good as he got. He was going to make Arthur work for it and he would make Arthur suffer if he could. If Arthur wanted him, he was going to have to be a man and beg for it.
If Arthur wanted a show that was what Merlin intended to give him. And, oh, what a show it was. Merlin did things in front of the camera that he never thought he would - some things he’d never even known he was capable of- touching himself and moaning like a whore all for Arthur benefit - and he loved it.
But three weeks had gone by and Arthur hadn’t made any attempts to talk to Merlin. The few times Merlin was around him, Arthur still acted like everything was normal. Merlin decided to raise the ante and called out Arthur’s name while he masturbated. Still nothing from Arthur. At first Merlin was having fun, but he started to feel disgusted with himself again. He was acting like a porn star and he was doing things that were not who really was - at least not who he thought he was. He was tired. He wasn’t sure if Arthur was even watching him anymore. Maybe Arthur got whatever he was feeling out of his system and didn’t need Merlin anymore. Whatever it was, Merlin was tired of the uncertainty. He needed to get some answers for once and for all.
He felt ridiculous when the only ruse he could think of to bring Arthur over was to pretend he’d seen a spider. He rolled his eyes after he shouted. It was the worst performance in history, and if Arthur fell for it, he might have to lose respect for him. But Arthur did fall for it. And far from losing respect for him, Merlin was even more turned on as he saw the lust in Arthur’s eyes as he took in his half-naked body. Merlin fully committed to the ruse and “accidentally” tripped and fell into his arms, with his towel slowly falling away.
At first, Merlin thinks he’s gotten to Arthur. He can feel how hard Arthur was. But then Arthur said he’s going to leave and for a half second Merlin is crushed. That’s it. It’s over. Arthur truly didn’t want him anymore. Merlin apologized and started to back away and all of a sudden Arthur is down on his knees and has given him the greatest blowjob in the history of mankind. Merlin comes embarrassingly quickly but he doesn’t care. He’s finally won.
But as Arthur enters him, it doesn’t feel like winning anymore. Everything he’s done to get to this moment comes back to Merlin and he feels sick with shame. And the pain - physical and emotional - is almost too much to bear. Arthur is trying to be gentle. Merlin can see how Arthur’s hands shake as he holds himself up and tries not to move. Merlin looks up into Arthur’s eyes and he’s startled by the emotion in the blue eyes staring down at him. It’s almost as if Arthur...cares about him. But this is just about sex, isn’t it?
Merlin can’t take the look in his eyes. He can’t take the shame and guilt he feels. And he doesn’t know why he should feel guilty. Arthur was the one who violated his trust. Arthur was the pervert who put a camera in his bedroom. Merlin didn’t do anything wrong. But he feels the guilt acutely.
He grips Arthur’s shoulder and Arthur winces. “Arthur, harder, please.”
Arthur looks down skeptically. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I want you to.”
Arthur recoils a bit.
“I need you to, please.”
Arthur nods briefly. He pulls out slowly, and after a brief second of hesitation, slams back in.
Merlin grunts and closes his eyes. The pain is unreal, but Merlin wants more. Merlin doesn’t know if he’s trying to punish himself or just trying to block out all of the thoughts swirling in his head, but either way, he eggs Arthur on. He wraps his legs around Arthur’s waist and Arthur sinks in deeper at a different angle.
Merlin can feel Arthur’s control begin to snap and he begins to slam into Merlin over and over. Merlin holds on for dear life. To his amazement, the pain doesn’t go away but it begins to morph into a hybrid of pain and pleasure, and his toes begin to curl. His hands slide against Arthur’s sweaty back as he scrambles for purchase.
“I’m so close, Merlin! Fuck!” Arthur shouts as he leans down and thrusts his face into the crook of Merlin’s shoulder.
Merlin knows he’s close as well, but keeps silent. When his orgasm overtakes him, he groans loudly.
A few seconds later, Arthur shouts out. “Merlin!” He shudders and collapses against Merlin.
For a few seconds Merlin just listens to Arthur’s heavy panting as it begins to subside and he starts to catch his breath. Before he knows what hits him, Merlin takes a shuddering breath that releases on a sob. He can feel the wetness against his cheek.
Arthur slowly pulls back and looks down at Merlin.
Merlin turns and tries to hide his face as he muffles another sob.
“Hey,” Arthur gently turns Merlin to face him. “It’s okay. Sometimes that happens. There’s nothing wrong with crying.”
Merlin sniffles. He finally looks up into Arthur’s eyes. “I’m not weird?”
“Well not about that anyway.” Arthur teases.
Merlin laughs despite himself.
Arthur rolls off Merlin and pulls him towards his chest and wraps his arms around him.
Merlin stiffens. He doesn’t understand why Arthur is doing this. He got what he wanted. Why is he cuddling with him?
Arthur strokes Merlin’s head. “It’s okay.”
Merlin sighs. ‘But it’s not okay’ is what he wants to say. None of this is. This isn’t a fairytale. Merlin isn’t stupid enough to think he and Arthur are going to end up together. This is too twisted and everything about them together is wrong. But Merlin can’t bring himself to say it. When he looks up at Arthur and Arthur looks at him as if he’s exactly where he wants to be, he just snuggles in closer.
Perhaps this isn’t a fairytale, but maybe it doesn’t matter.