Love and Nightmares Triptych: Eros

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)

Summary:

Susan Ivanova has been plagued her entire life by nightmares and issues with love.

Notes:

For bessemerprocess.

Date Written: 22 February 2010
Word Count: 782
Spoilers: Just consider Susan and Talia's storylines fair game, okay?

Disclaimer: "Babylon 5," the characters and situations depicted are the property of J. Michael Straczynski, Babylonian Productions, Warner Brothers, etc. They are borrowed without permission, but without the intent of infringement. This story is in no way affiliated with "Babylon 5," J. Michael Straczynski, the production companies, or any representatives of the actors.

Author's Notes: I have this not-so-secret love affair with Susan Ivanova. It's been slowly building up over the years. A fic here, a fic there, and then suddenly, this muse was firmly entrenched in my brain. And she's not exactly... polite when she wants to be the focus of attention. And with Susan, Talia must come along. Of course. They're steeped in angst, which is so apropos, and yet they have a playful tenderness that I really like.

Love is a recurring theme for Susan, which is why I chose to incorporate that into this series of stories. Actually, it was the nightmares that started it, but because they're tied into her relationship with her mother, I snapped up the idea of intertwining them with her issues of love. It was an interesting set up to write, particularly in using a different POV for each story. I kind of like how it turned out.

Background information on the Greek meanings of love came from here, here, and here. Slightly more specific information can be found on storge, agape, and eros.

Dedication: my muses, as always…

Beta: cuspofqueens and shatterpath

Archiving: Only on AO3 & ShatterStorm Productions. All others MUST request permission first.

Chapter 1

She slips with practiced ease into the room, unwilling to wake her lover. The last several nights have been stressful on the blonde, and she feels no compunction to share her distress with her lover. Things are still strange enough for everyone concerned without adding to Talia's discomfort.

She can't quite allow herself to believe that this is all real just yet. The events of that fateful forty-eight hours between inviting Talia to spend the night with her and having to accept that the woman she'd known as Talia Winters was dead are still as fresh in her mind as when they first happened nearly three years ago. Their one night together had been, by turns, wonderful and bittersweet as time marched on around her. In the darkest hours, when her guard was down, the memories would parade through her dreams. Truthfully, rather than dwelling on the good things about it, she was more prone to lumping them into the myriad of nightmares that had plagued her for the entirety of her life.

Upon seeing Talia in the station after so many years of believing her dead, Susan had wanted nothing more than to fire her PPG on the woman she'd believed was Control. Thankfully, cooler heads ended up ruling, and she was given proof positive that Talia had indeed come back to her. It had taken time for that realization to happen, but she wasn't about to trust the personality she considered to be her lover's killer.

"Susan?" Talia's voice cuts into her thoughts, made even huskier by her interrupted slumber.

Pushing away from the doorframe, she moves further into the room, leaning over to stroke her hand over the long blonde tresses. "I'm right here," she replies, heart clenching in her chest as those smoky grey eyes lift to meet her own. She can feel the gentle tendril of thought seeking entrance, and drops her shields with a soft sigh. "You should be sleeping, you know."

"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?" Talia's teasing tone sends a thrill of emotion down her spine. Rather than wait for an answer, the blonde leans up to brush her lips across Susan's gently. "Where were you?"

"Just in the other room," Susan finally replies. "I couldn't sleep."

"You should have woken me."

Shaking her head, the brunette slips back under the covers and pulls the blonde closer. "I'm used to bouts of insomnia. I'm a big girl, Talia, I can handle it."

She can tell that Talia's resisting the urge to roll her eyes. Instead, those beloved eyes study her more closely for a moment before nodding slowly. "Stubborn woman," she mutters against the skin of Susan's neck. "I can think of much better ways to combat insomnia and the nightmares you try to hide from me." She feels the flush of embarrassment heating up her face and chest at the admonition. "Control is gone for good. There is no way that bitch can get back into my head, Susan."

"I know."

"You're not getting rid of me that easily."

Susan's startled laughter fills the room for a moment before Talia leans up to kiss her again. All thoughts of stress and the nightmares disappear from her mind in the face of Talia's feelings for her. Her own emotions for the blonde come to the surface in automatic response, and she deepens the kiss, unwilling to let go of her lover.

She's not sure she can easily call what they're feeling love just yet, but she wants to more than anything. She admitted to Delenn the idea of loving Talia more than a year ago, but she can't quite bring herself to admit it to the blonde yet.

"Stop thinking so damned much," Talia growls, nipping sharply at Susan's lower lip.

"I love you."

The words are out of her mouth before she even realizes she's said them. Talia pulls back to stare at Susan, confusion warring with fear and hope in her grey eyes.

"What did you say?"

Without hesitation, Susan repeats herself, staring deeply into those eyes that have haunted and soothed her dreams for so long now. "God, I hope I'm not making the biggest mistake of my life by saying that to you, Talia, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life with 'what if'. If this is nothing more than another elaborate dreamscape, I want to tell you how I feel before it's too late again. Delenn should not be the only person to know how I feel about you, damn it!"

"Oh, Susan," Talia breathes, tears glimmering in her eyes, and pulls the brunette closer for another kiss. "I love you, too."

 

Screencap originally from freifraufischer's LJ

Image originally located here

Series this work belongs to:

• « Part 3 of the Love and Nightmares Triptych series
• « Part 7 of the Strength to Try series »