Title: Whatever May Come (1/2)
Disclaimer: Without Prejudice. I don't own any of the characters, nor do I own anything to do with Stargate SG1. The show and its characters are the property of NBC and all their other owners. No infringements of these copyrights are intended, and are used here without permission.
Genre: Angst, AU
Characters: Samantha Carter, Evan Lorne, Carolyn Lam, Cameron Mitchell
Spoilers: Ripple Effect, S9
Summary: Sam sits in wait for Cam's return during Ripple Effect, fearing the worst for him, and her unborn baby.
Author's Note: For one of my best friend's in the entire world, Claire! Have a great Christmas :)
Seated comfortably on one of the chairs in the empty briefing room, Sam was reading through the latest reports relating to the planet SG-6 had spent recent week visiting. She read of how they tried to bring about a peace between the planets' warring nations, and how the technological development of three of the four nations sat, on an Earth timeline, in the late Victorian era.
Also in the report had been mention of a steam engine in the city they were taken to, and SG-6 had also written about the modest handguns and rifles in use by the soldiers guarding the Stargate throughout their time on the planet. Of greatest concern in the report, however, was a bomb that was said to be under development by the more advanced of the four nations; a nation which sought for some years now to control the Stargate on their own, once and for all.
It was because of that report she'd seen Cam lead the three Jaffa recruits General O'Neill had assigned to SG-1 after Daniel left for Atlantis, and Teal'c resigned from the Stargate, leave for PJ3Y1.
At almost eight months pregnant, Sam was meant to be home, not only enjoying her maternity leave, but also resting up on Doctor Lam's orders. She couldn't though. She couldn't rest when Cam was four days late getting home, and they were unable to make a connection between Earth's gate and that of PJ3Y1.
Resting her head in her right hand, she let out a soft sigh and felt a big kick in her swollen belly. She moved her left hand to her stomach, focusing on the movement from the life within. It had been pure dumb luck that neither ultrasound she'd had would reveal the sex of the baby, though Sam felt certain – as did just about everybody with an opinion on the matter – that the baby was a boy.
The sudden thought of him growing up, having the same cheekiness and lack of patience as his father brought tears to her eyes.
She feared the worst for Cam and the three Jaffa soldiers, and while no one had yet given up hope, her fears weighed heavily on her mind just the same.
Suddenly, the all-familiar call from Staff Sergeant Walter Herriman sounded overhead: "Incoming gate travel," he said.
Sam's eyes went straight to the large windows at her left and she carefully rose to her feet, crossing over to it. She placed her hand against the glass pane, and looked down at the embarkation room below. Her pulse had begun to quicken, and she closed her eyes, quietly praying that this was the moment when SG1 would make their return.
Not looking down again, she opened her eyes and turned to her right, walking as fast as her tired and sore back would allow. She had just placed her hand on the rail, when a familiar face came into view around the turn in the staircase. Sergeant Evan Lorne, the absent member of SG1 stood there, a sorrowful look on his face that told her it wasn't them who'd just returned.
"Sorry, Sam," the Major said, grimacing as he pulled himself up the stairs with a bad limp. "How are you holding up?" he asked, rising a few more steps and stopping before her.
"I'm fine," she said.
Sam watched as his head tilted to the side just slightly in disbelief. "I find that hard to believe."
She turned away, walking back through to the briefing room. When she felt him step up behind her, she said, "I'm... scared, okay?"
"No, it's not okay," Lorne said, and he placed his hand on her shoulder in comfort. "I don't like seeing you this way, Sam."
Turning slowly to face him, a rush of tears forced their way down her cheeks. "I don't like feeling this way," she admitted, "I hate not knowing."
"I know," he replied, stepping toward her and drawing her into a hug.
They stood like that for the longest moment, one more tear after another leaving a trail down Sam's cheeks. "I just want him back, Evan."
Evan parted from the hug with a nod, stepping Sam over to her seat and helping her to sit down. He sat on the chair beside her, holding her hand in his. "He'll be back soon, I know it," he said.
"I hope so. I need him here," she replied, more tears threatening to fall.
Lorne nodded again, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb, when there was a knock at the doorway and they both looked over to see Doctor Lam standing there with a black bag in her hand.
"I'll just step outside and wait, okay?" Lorne said, looking back at Sam.
She nodded, and as he rose to his feet and walked away, she noticed how he and Doctor Lam seemed to slow as they stepped past one another. There was an unexpected look of affection in both their eyes, and she wondered how long that had been there.
Doctor Lam came around the desk and sat where Lorne had those moments before. "I don't think I need to ask how you're feeling, do I?" she asked in a sympathetic voice.
"Not really, no," Sam replied.
"I'm sorry," Doctor Lam said, removing her blood pressure device and a stethoscope from her bag. "I'm just going to take your blood pressure, if that's okay?" she asked, and Sam gave her a nod in response.
Lam plugged the stethoscope into her ears and used it and the cuff together to take Sam's blood pressure. She frowned as she pumped the pressure cuff, and that frown deepened as she let the air out of it.
"Is it still up?" Sam asked when she removed the cuff.
"It's higher than it should be, Colonel. I'd really like you to be resting at home – or in your quarters – and not up here, reading through all those files."
"The files are the only thing stopping me from over-thinking," Sam replied honestly.
"It's hard, I know," Lam sympathized. "My fear is, your blood pressure keeps going up. It's nothing too concerning, but if we don't get it down, there's a risk you could develop preeclampsia."
With a heart aching shake of her head, Sam asked, "What can you do?"
"I'd really like to have you in the infirmary so I can monitor you more regularly. I'd also like to give you something to lower your blood pressure, and something to help you relax."
"Won't that hurt the baby?"
She shook her head, "No. Your baby will be fine. But you won't, if you stay up here."
Sam was quiet for a moment, her mind doing exactly what she'd told Lam it did when she wasn't reading through reports; it went into overdrive. She worried about the risk of any kind of sedation, however mild, on the baby, but also the risks of staying up here and worrying, and what that would do to the baby, and her.
"Does it have to be the infirmary?" she asked after a moment.
"No, of course not. I can get some Ensigns to bring the equipment up to your quarters," Doctor Lam replied, "And I'll have Major Lorne stay with you, so he's there to call me if anything happens."
With a reluctant nod, Sam let out a sigh. A week ago, she'd been on maternity leave, enjoying her pregnancy and the long overdue break from everything Stargate related she hadn't realized she so desperately needed. It was nice. Almost perfect, in so many ways.
Doctor Lam moved then, distracting her from her thoughts. "I'll meet you in your quarters shortly," she said, and Sam said a quiet 'thank you'.
As the other woman walked away, Sam let out a soft sigh, her hand going to her stomach once again. She could feel the movement of the baby, and it made her heart ache for Cam. She wanted him back here so that he could be with her through this, and it made her feel guilty because he was probably going through so much worse on PJ3Y1.
It was a half hour later before Doctor Lam finally came to Sam's room with three ensigns. Two pushed trolleys with different equipment on each, and the third wheeled in a drip. Sam eyed Doctor Lam at the sight of it, and the other woman sat beside her on the bed, explaining, "I'd like to set you up on IV fluids, just to make sure you're getting enough. If that's all right Colonel?"
"That's fine," Sam said with a nod, casting a glance in Lorne's direction for a moment, before looking back at Doctor Lam. "So you think this blood pressure medication will work?"
"I'm confident it will," the other woman replied, giving her a reassuring smile, "That's also why I want to give you something to help you relax. It'll make you a little sleepy, and with the few hours you've slept the couple of days, I'm sure your body will do the rest."
Sam looked sideways at Lorne then, who promptly put his hands up in defence of himself. "I was worried," he said.
She went to shake her head, when she realized, if it had been him in her shoes, she probably would have done the same.
Doctor Lam continued, "You need plenty of rest, Colonel Carter. Especially with your due date fast approaching."
Sam nodded, "Okay."
Lam stood up then, directing the Ensigns where to set up the equipment. One, a foetal monitor, was at Sam's right side, while the other was a heart monitor and blood pressure machine, which was at Sam's left. Also at her left was the drip stand.
After the Ensigns were done, they left the room.
"I'm going to put the line in now," Doctor Lam said, bringing a tray over to the bed and setting it on the bedside cabinet next to the photo of Sam and Cam, which had been taken at a barbecue General O'Neill had hosted two months ago. She'd been six months pregnant then, and she and Cam stood together, both their arms around her belly, smiling happily.
Sam felt a small wet tissue being wiped over the back of her hand, and she watched as Doctor Lam took hold of her hand with her left, and carefully inserted the IV needle into the back of her hand with her right. With all the injuries she'd happened across in her years with the Stargate program, Sam no longer winced at the sight or feel of the needles as they went in. The sight today, however, made all of what was going on feel all the more real, and so she leaned her head back, against the wall, making herself think of something else.
Her mind drifted from one memory to the next, seemingly as though she was sorting through an archive file, trying to find the right memory to play out.
Very soon, she thought of her father and how, when she'd told him she was pregnant, he'd pulled her into a hug and sobbed. She'd cried with him, overjoyed that she was not only pregnant, but because she'd finally found the man she knew in her heart she would spend the rest of her life with.
"That's the IV done, Colonel."
Sam blinked, her father's whispered words of congratulations fading as she looked back at Doctor Lam. "What now?" she asked.
"I'll give you the medication to help bring down your blood pressure. I'll also give you something to help you relax, but it's not a sedative so it won't harm the baby."
"Thank you," Sam replied, sighing relief. "For everything. I know you've got your hands full as it is."
Doctor Lam paused to smile, "You're welcome."
She watched as Doctor Lam stood up again, a syringe with clear liquid in it in her hand, and step over to the IV and insert the medication into one of the ports. "This is for your blood pressure," she explained.
When she was done, she stepped back over and placed the syringe, with cap on, onto the tray. "And this," she began, pausing to pick up a small plastic cup. "Will help you relax."
With a little hesitance, Sam took the cup from Lam and accepted the water Lorne was holding for her. She popped the pill in her mouth, and drank a mouthful of the water to drink it down.
After a moment, Doctor Lam took both cups, setting the cup of water on the cabinet beside Sam, and setting the small plastic cup down on her tray. "I'll come back and see you shortly, after my meeting with General O'Neill, okay?"
Sam nodded, "Thank you."
"You're welcome," the other woman said with a warm smile, taking the tray and heading out of the room and closing the door behind her.
The room was suddenly quiet, when Major Lorne moved on the bed, sitting with his back against the headboard. "You need anything, Sam?"
"Only Cam," she said, moving down on the bed until she was resting comfortably and her blankets were up around her chest.
"I wish I could bring him back to you."
"Me too," she murmured.
They were both quiet for a long few minutes, and Sam finally begun to feel a mild drowsiness overcome her. She fought it though, asking Lorne, "So when did you and... and Carolyn Lam happen?"
The Major moved, so he was lying on his side beside her. "Yesterday," he said, and when she turned her head to the side to look at him, she could see a worried expression creasing his brow.
"I know that look," she said.
"I just keep thinking... what if I screw it up?"
"You won't," Sam said reassuringly, "You're a good man, Evan."
He smiled. "Thanks."
"If not for you, Cam and I never would've happened."
His smile widened, "I'm glad to have played my part in that. It's nice seeing you happy, Sam. You deserve it."
A smile of her own crept upon Sam's lips and she murmured, "Thank you. For everything."
Her eyes began to drift shut after a moment, but she opened her eyes wide with fright, taking a deep breath.
"Hey, it's okay Sam. Just relax," Lorne said, and she could feel his hand going to her shoulder. "Don't fight it."
With unshed tears in her eyes, and desperation for Cam to be there at her side, Sam finally gave in and let her eyes drift shut and stay shut. "What if... if he returns while I... I'm asleep?"
Her words were met with silence, sleep pulling every last ounce of consciousness away from her.
Cam stepping up behind her, Sam's gaze drifted out the window of his childhood bedroom window, and out at the sunset-soaked fields surrounding the Mitchell home. In one of the fields was a tree that stood tall by the fence line.
"One day," Cam murmured, "I'm gonna marry you out under that tree," he said, his promise causing Sam's eyes to well with joyful tears.
Of course, it wasn't just his promise. It was the happiness he made her feel. It was also the secret she'd been dying to tell him for five days now, which she'd chosen to keep secret in order to make the moment, and this weekend, as special as she could.
With a soft voice, she announced, "We're... we're pregnant."
Cam seemed to freeze at the words for a moment, when he pressed a long-lasting kiss to the side of her head. "That's wonderful, Sam," he whispered, holding her that little bit tighter.
With a smile, one of her unshed, happy tears streaked down Sam's cheek and she closed her eyes, feeling truly happy and so wonderfully blessed by this unexpected miracle. Not just the baby they were expecting, but also the life together that lay ahead of them.
Sam stirred awake at the sound of footsteps. "Cameron?" she murmured, her vision fuzzy.
"Sorry, no. It's only me," Doctor Lam said. "I'm just going to check your blood pressure, Colonel."
Sam vaguely felt the cuff being attached to her arm. Buttons were pushed and each sounded with a beep, and soon there was pressure from the machine building in her arm, which caused her to whimper softly.
"It's almost finished, Sam," Lorne's voice sounded, and she felt him take hold of her other hand and squeeze it reassuringly.
The machine beeped, and the pressure went down. The cuff was moved and Sam turned onto her left side, trying her best to focus on Lam. "Is it working?" she asked.
"It is," the other woman replied. "How are you feeling?"
Sam drifted for a second before answering. "Just sleepy."
"Okay. Well that's good, I want you to get as much sleep as you can. You might need it tomorrow."
Sam tried to focus. "What... do you mean?"
Doctor Lam crouched down in front of her, her hand going over Sam's. "Well, your blood pressure is still concerning me. I don't want you to be worried though, I'm confident more sleep and blood pressure medication will help."
Tears formed in Sam's eyes. "And if it doesn't?"
"General O'Neill has signed off to get the equipment we might need flown in," she said.
Suddenly, a siren sounded beyond the door to, and Doctor Lam looked across at Major Lorne. The siren meant there was incoming gate travel, and it made Sam's heart race.
"I'll go find out what team's back," Lorne said, and as he moved off the bed, making it move, Sam cried softly.
"It'll be okay, Colonel," the Doctor Lam said, removing the cuff from her arm, then holding her hand. "Everything's going to be okay."
The siren stopped after a minute, and the sudden silence and soothing stroke of Doctor Lam's hand caused Sam to drift off to sleep again. She tried consciously to fight it, to stay awake and wait and find out for herself which team was back, but she'd barely slept these past few days and the exhaustion won out.
"I don't care what you got told, Sam, lemon is not a boy's color," Cam said, standing in the middle of the nursery in their new house with his arms crossed across his chest. He looked around him with one disapproving shake of his head after another.
"It's supposed to be gender neutral," came Sam's reply, where she stood by the window, leaning against the ledge of it and appraising the room. "It's fine. Once we get the wall decals up and the crib in here..."
"Which is white."
"You can blame your mother for the choice in its color, thank you," Sam stated matter-of-factly.
"So is all the bedding."
"Which we can take back and exchange for the right color after he, or she, gets here."
With a sigh, Cam stepped over to Sam and stopped in front of her. "Isn't there a blood test, or another scan we could do, to find out the gender?"
She laughed, placing her hands against his chest. "Your son or daughter doesn't want anyone to know what he or she is until he or she gets here."
"Yeah but that sucks, Sam. A father should be able to know what decent color to paint his child's bedroom."
"A father should also be less impatient, and accept that there's going to be a lot he can't expect to happen as quickly as he wants it to," Sam replied, grabbing him by the lapels of his red shirt and drawing his body to hers. "Much as we might want to, sometimes the Universe doesn't want us to know everything all at once."
"The Universe is a mean bitch," he replied, slipping his arms around Sam, his gaze drifting from her lips, to her eyes, then back to her lips again. "Well... sometimes, at least."
"Uh huh," she murmured, just as his mouth met hers.
"Sam. Sam honey, wake up..."
Blinking through a fog of fragmented memories that felt so real, Sam's eyes groggily opened to the man crouched before her. He wore a black t-shirt, and his hair looked a mess, like it did whenever he'd been impatiently running his fingers throat his hair.
"Hey, you," the familiar voice said.
He took hold of her hand. "It is, it's me, Sam. I'm right here."
She cried, "Oh God, I missed you and I didn't... I didn't think I'd ever see you again."
Cam leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead, and then rested his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry," he said, tenderly caressing her face, while Sam reached for the front of his shirt, not wanting to ever let him go again.
"The most unbelievable thing happened," he said, "But I'm back now, and I'm not going anywhere."
Out of relief, a soft sob escaped Sam's throat.
"Everything's going to be okay now baby. It's all going to be okay," Cam said, and Sam knew in her heart he was right.