Danny first kisses Jackson when they're fourteen. Two years later and Jackson can barely remember it. It happened so quickly, over before it really started; it was just a quick brush of dry lips against Jackson's own. And then Danny ran out on him before either of them could say anything.
Maybe things would have been different if Danny had stayed. Maybe then he would have known that the only thing keeping Jackson from kissing him back had been Jackson's fear of being sent away.
But Danny didn't stay. And instead of being Danny's boyfriend, Jackson is simply his best friend who stands by and watches Danny ogle other guys. And yeah, Jackson knows it’s fucked up to feel that way considering he spent two years doing all kinds of shit with Lydia... But now, now its different.
It’s different now because Jackson has a pack, a family. One that won't ever leave him.
But the real reason, if he's being really honest, is them.
Watching them lounging on the couch watching some idiotic movie that Derek would never have agreed to see on his own. Seeing them walk side by side while Stiles just grabs ahold of Derek's hand without thinking. Feeling awkward when Derek pull Stiles in close and whisper things Jackson would rather not hear.
The only thing he could do without is the stink of their arousal which has been present almost 24/7 lately. Jackson is guessing it stems from the fact that Stiles finally gave it up.
"You're being a creeper."
"You've been staring at Derek and Stiles now for the better part of an hour now. You better watch out before Derek starts to think you have a thing for Stiles. He'll tear you apart."
Lydia sits down next to Jackson. Her weird not quite red, not quite blonde hair acting as a shield between the two of them.
"But I don't."
"Yeah we all know that which is why you staring is so weird."
"I just..." He couldn't tell her he was jealous; that he didn't want either of those guys, but rather what they had.
"I know... Danny's not dating Trevor anymore."
Jackson whips his head around to face Lydia. Shock coursing through his veins. "How did-"
"When we were dating, you'd listen to him tell any stupid story with this look on your face like it was legitimately the most fascinating thing ever. Most of the time you'd just tune me out." She looks up at Jackson and smiles. Not a sad smile but a smile of true understanding. "I guess that's why I always held on too tight. I should've just let you go."
"I'm sorry.” He pauses. “You know, for the way I treated you in the end."
"Don't be. I made mistakes too, but we're both better off now."
Jackson realizes that she's right. Both of them are better off and it's not just because of the whole becoming werewolves thing but because they're friends now, really friends. They're family; they're pack. And now there's only one thing missing, one thing that could make it all perfect...
He kisses Lydia on the check, stands up, and takes off. He spends the walk over thinking about why it's taken him so long to figure this out. He loves Danny; he’s always loved Danny. Before he knows it he's in front of Danny's house, but now he's lost all his conviction.
"Jackson!" He turns to see Danny's mom coming up the walk, a briefcase in one hand and a pair of heels in the other. "What are you doing out here? Is Danny not home?"
Jackson listens for a minute hearing faint sounds of music playing in the background while Danny clicks away on his laptop.
"Ugh yeah sorry-"
"Well go on inside. Just do let me know if you’re going to be staying for dinner..."
But Jackson is already inside and heading up the stairs. He doesn't knock, just barges in so he can't lose his nerve.
"What the fuck man?” Danny turns down the music on his laptop and stands to face Jackson. “You scared the shit out of me!"
"Sorry...” He just needs to do it, he just needs to tell him the truth but the words don’t come out.
"Whatever. Did I miss something? I thought you were-"
The second time Jackson kisses Danny, they're seventeen and it's nothing fancy, just a brush of his dry lips against Danny's own.