Edward’s New Moon
I looked into the bright red eyes that stared directly at me with obvious hatred and anger. It seemed strange to see such an ugly expression on a face that I had loved for so long. Bella shifted her weight into a predatory stance and I mirrored her actions. The time had come for action. She had stirred an angry fire in me that seemed impossible to extinguish. There was a moment of silence and tension in which I asked myself if it was entirely possible that we had reached this point. This was the woman to whom I had pledged my entire existence, the woman who had bore my child. Then the images of two blank, empty almond eyes and burgundy blood dripping in a slow trickle from Bella’s chin filled my mind. Red fury flashed through my body and all thoughts disappeared as I launched myself at my wife, prepared to kill.
Two Months Earlier
It had been months since we successfully prevented the Volturi from destroying our family and I should be completely happy, but I’m not. I gaze blankly out the rain-splattered windshield of Rosalie’s new Porsche as I press the accelerator to the ground. I just have to get out of here. I cannot take it anymore.
How had I not noticed it before: the constant whining, the never-ending insecurities, and always the need for reassurance. It was endless, literally endless in my case. It seems impossible that I had never noticed it before. I had thought I loved Bella. After all, she is my wife and the mother to our sweet, beautiful child. I practically had to beg her to marry me in the first place and yet I can no longer stand her. It has literally escalated to the point where I thoroughly deplore her. This is why I’m currently flying out of Forks like I’m being chased by the wraths of some God, why I’m leaving without anyone knowing where I’m going or how long I’ll be gone for, including myself.
I simply cannot keep living like this. Either she must go or I, but how do you leave someone who you have pledged your life to, who you personally sentenced to a life with no end? In our vows we promised to love each other “as long as we both shall live”. That is a pretty powerful statement when you are immortal. I suppose I never realized the gravity of it. When I spoke those words I had meant them but now they feel more like a prison sentence, chaining me to a woman that I once irrevocably loved. How did I let things get so bad?
I suppose it all started when Bella first realized that she could use her powers to allow me to see into her mind. When I was first able to see into her thoughts it felt like a gift. However, when she first allowed me to see into her mind she focused only on thinking about pleasant, happy memories. After a while this began to change. Soon, Bella was letting me into her thoughts when she was unhappy with me or especially insecure, like the time she thought she caught me looking at Rosalie in a suggestive manner. For the next week, I was bombarded with the sounds of Bella’s screams echoing in my head from when our daughter was born and the images of our baby being ripped from her stomach. I believe, actually I know, it was her hope that these thoughts would make me feel guilty and prompt me to make some big romantic gesture in order to qualm her fears and insecurities. Instead, it just drove me crazy, making me more agitated by the day. She could see the fire in my coal black, thirst-stricken eyes but this only made her work harder to express the pain she was going through. One of the reasons I fell in love with Bella was the mystery of not being able to read her thoughts. Talking to her each day was like trying to put together the pieces of an intricate and complicated puzzle. Now the mystery is gone.
I also started to notice the annoying habits that spurred from her insecurities. She spends hours staring in the mirror everyday, scrutinizing her face, trying to convince herself that the image she sees is her own, that the smooth marble face of beauty truly belongs to her. She cannot stand to be without me for more than five minutes and follows me around like a lost puppy. I find myself missing the solitude of my existence before Bella. Her life has been so constantly in jeopardy that I spent more time saving her life than actually getting to know her. Whether it was stopping cars from crushing her to a pulp or preventing our daughter from literally tearing her apart from the inside out, I never had time to sit around and contemplate Bella’s personality. Even now that she is a vampire, I am still constantly being forced to save her, like the time she dented Rosalie’s newest car and Rosalie was so angry she was prepared to tear her limb from limb. I truly loved Bella once, with the kind of love that consumes your entire being. It was the kind of love that makes you realize the world no longer revolves around you. Instead, you become the sun revolving around her because she has become the entire world. I would have died a thousand untimely, painful deaths in order to keep her alive. Now, each day I spend with her feels like a version of the hell that Carlisle is so sure exists. I believe it was this love combined with my insatiable lust for her blood that prevented me from initially seeing this side of her. Now, all I can see are the bad things. The only things that have kept me around so long are my sweet, darling Renesmee and my unwillingness to break the bonds of marriage that I have put on myself. After all, it is my own fault that I am in this position. However, it has reached the point where even these things are not enough. After years of saving her, I am now on the run to avoid killing Bella myself out of pure and unadulterated annoyance.
I drove all through the night and well into the next day. When I finally reached the end of land, I swam. Days have passed and I now find myself in Waialeale, Hawaii. It rains here constantly, which suits me. I spend most of my time just walking around, taking in the beautiful, luscious green landscape. On sunny days I climb to the summit of Mount Waialeale and revel in the freedom of allowing my white, marble skin to sparkle in the sunlight. Despite the beauty of the land and the freedom, I am lonely. My life has no purpose without my daughter and the rest of my original family. Today, I have decided to go into the local music shop, hoping my passion for music will mask the pain and drive out the loneliness. As I push open the door the little golden bell attached to the top of the door begins to ring. That is when I smell him. The scent rolling off his toned, tan body is entirely intoxicating and immediately clouds my thoughts. A burning fills my throat and I grip the door as the tiny bell continues to tinkle above. My mind quickly shifts into predator mode and takes in the surroundings, noting that it would be an easy kill with no witnesses to dispose of. I can feel the metal turn to butter in my hand as I fight to regain control. I have been through this before and I know how to control myself now. This all happens so quickly that the boy does not even notice my inner struggle. He looks up from the CDs he is stacking with a grin, flashing perfectly white, even teeth.
“What do we have here?” I hear him think as he simultaneously says, “Aloha, how can I help you?” I quickly take in the deep almond eyes and his shaggy, chocolate brown hair that is just brushing his long lashes. He is wearing a snug V-neck t-shirt and dark denim jeans, which emphasizes his lean physique. The lust and thirst that immediately fills my throat and gut surprises me. I have not felt this way in a long time, and never about a boy.
“I just wanted to take a look around,” I reply with all the casualness I can muster.
“Okay let me know if you need anything” he responds, adding silently, “Please let me know.”
As I peruse the various cases of Hawaiian Island music, I continue to take in his thoughts. I hear his pleased approval of my bronze hair and the long lashes that surround my golden eyes. He also notes my understated yet flattering choice of apparel with a satisfied appreciation. I move on to the store’s selection of classical music, barely reading the titles as I continue to focus on listening to the boy’s thoughts. After I finish my tour of the store and can take no more, I pluck a random CD from the stacks without even looking at the title, pay, and make my escape.
I have spent the rest of the day sitting in a clearing in the forest near Mount Waialeale. I can still smell the indescribable, potent scent in my nostrils. I did not think it was possible that I would ever find a scent that tempted or thrilled me more than Bella’s. Bella and I once talked about how she was my specific brand of heroin. If this was the case than the smell of that boy’s fragrant blood was like smelling my brand of heroin after going through months of withdrawal. I tell myself I should just leave, forget about the scent and the boy with the almond eyes. It is time return to my family to try and fix what has been lost. Allowing myself to even contemplate staying and pursuing the boy seems wrong and yet, I cannot get the scent out of my mind.
His name is ‘Ailani. It has been five weeks since I first arrived in Waialeale and I know this about the boy and so much more. The day after I first smelled him I returned to the music store, ready to convince myself that the smell had not been nearly as pleasing or enthralling as I had imagined. I was wrong. The smell had an even stronger impact on my entire being than I had remembered. I again had to fight off the urge to lunge at the boy and sink my teeth into his succulent and tender throat, drinking the warm, rich blood that was giving off such an irresistible scent. I regained my composure by the time the boy greeted me for a second time.
“Back again?” he remarked as his eyes ran up and down my person, appraising me. That was all it took. From there we struck up a conversation, talking for hours about anything and everything. After I left the store I waited at the corner of the street for ‘Ailani to leave. I watched him turn off the lights and lock the front door of the store, checking the doorknob before heading home. I stealthily followed him on his walk home, keeping a far enough distance where I did not have a visual of him but could continue to listen to his thoughts. Suddenly, a group of large, muscular boys appeared out of nowhere in ‘Ailani’s thoughts. I search to hear the other boys’ thoughts and can hear that ‘Ailani is not their friend. They have been waiting for ‘Ailani with the sole purpose of attacking him because of his feminine behavior and fashionable appearance. I can hardly focus on what the boys are saying as I begin to rush forward. The boys close in a circle around ‘Ailani, preventing him from making any kind of escape. I can tell by the look on ‘Ailani’s face with his wide eyes and open mouth that he is scared. One of the boys steps forward and punches ‘Ailani in the face and then the rest of them fall into the pile just as I arrive on the scene. This experience gives me an odd sense of déjà vu as the image of Bella with a strange look surrounded by a bunch of thugs in Port Angeles enters my mind. I immediately sprint forward and take immense pleasure in knocking each of the bullies senseless. ‘Ailani looks up at me when an awed look on his face.
“Thank you, Edward,” he whispers, the tremor is his voice is obvious, “I did not know how I was going to get away this time.” I offer him my hand and pull him up off the ground.
“I can accompany you home if you wish,” I tell him. He carefully shakes his head to insinuate his compliance with this suggestion. ‘Ailani begins to walk at a slow gate with a slight limp and I fall in step next to him. As I taken in the slight bruise already forming on his face I silently admonish myself for not getting there quicker. We walk down a various number of blocks and finally stop, facing a small, brown house that is clearly in need of some repairs.
“Well this is me. Thanks again, goodbye,” he says and adds silently in his head, “Thank goodness he got there when he did. I just met this man and he has saved my life. I don’t know what would have happened if he hadn’t shown up.” I merely offer him a smile and watch him walk down the sandy, dirt path leading to his front door. He turns around to look at me one last time and raises a hand before disappearing inside the house.
That night I snuck in through his bedroom, just like I used to do in Forks when I would watch Bella sleep. As I watched him sleep, I felt a sense of peace come over me. He looked so relaxed in his sleep, taking slow, deep, and rhythmic breaths. I sat there all night watching over him and a few hours before dawn I received my reward when he quietly whispered my name in his sleep.
I have returned to the music store everyday since then. We have become fast friends and do nearly everything together. I have gotten to know so much about him in this short amount of time. I know that he, at seventeen, is the youngest of five children and that he was born and raised on the island. His parents are divorced, which has caused him a lot of pain and suffering. He also loves classical music, especially the work of Bach and Handel. His lifelong dream is to leave the island and live in New York City, working for some well-known music producer. I also know things he hasn’t told me that I hear in his thoughts. He finds me attractive and senses that there is something different about me, which he refers to as my extraordinariness. He mainly wonders if I am attracted to him or if I am already in a relationship. He does not know that I am a vampire or that I am married. That information is not something that you just spring upon a person, and if I am being completely honest, it is something that I am trying to forget.
It is a Friday evening and I am going to the movies with ‘Ailani. Our relationship has continually progressed and has finally reached a climax. I now believe that I am ready to explore a relationship with the boy and am certain that I will not lose control. ‘Ailani still does not know that I am a vampire but he has become hyperaware of my strange behaviors. He has noticed that I never eat a single thing when we go out to eat and on sunny days I never come around. I can hear the questions in his thoughts but leave them unanswered for now. As we walk to the movie I breathe in his wonderful scent, which is as invigorating to me today as it was the day I first smelled it.
‘Ailani asks, “Are you having fun?” There is a noticeable question in his deep brown eyes and I realize that I have been unusually quiet on our walk from the restaurant to the theater. I look over at him and allow a grin to spread across my face.
“Of course I am,” I reply. The truth is that I am having fun. This is the happiest I have been in a long time. It has been such a release to escape from the constant barrage of questions and interrogations coming from Bella. To be honest I have rarely thought about her or my family over the past few weeks. Meeting ‘Ailani has allowed me to start a new life and my former life feels like part of a distant memory. With ‘Ailani I am a different person. There is no more anger or anxiety. There is just peace.
“How badly did you want to see this movie?” ‘Ailani asks.
“Not that badly. I do not really have a preference about what we do.”
“Okay, then I want to show you something,” ‘Ailani tells me. His eyes have lit up in excitement and he grabs my hand to pull me down a side alley. This is the first time we have made physical contact since his attack and his hand feels surprisingly soft and warm in mine. I try to sift through his thoughts to see how he feels about the cold hard piece of rock that resembles my own hand. However, his thoughts do not suggest that he has even noticed this at all. Instead, he is picturing an old building with peeling paint and blue shutters that I have never seen before.
The next thing I know we are standing in front of the actual physical manifestation of this building. The building does not seem that overly impressive to me but I realize that it must hold some importance for ‘Ailani or he would not have brought me here. I try to tune out his thoughts so that ‘Ailani can actually tell me aloud what his reasons were for bringing me here.
“This is the house I grew up in,” ‘Ailani informs me. “No one lives here anymore but I like to come here sometimes and sneak in when I need a place to think. My mother and father were still together when we lived in this house. This house represents a happier time for me, a time when everything was right.” He again takes hold of my hand and pulls me up the stairs of the sagging wooden porch. As he pushes open the large oak door he pulls me into the house. I look around the foyer of the home, taking in the dented wooden floors and the large winding staircase leading upstairs. I can sense ‘Ailani looking at me and hear in his thoughts that he is waiting for me to look at him.
I turn to look at him, making direct eye contact with his dark brown eyes. Neither of us says a word and we continue to stand staring at one another. Slowly, I take two steps toward him leaving a marginal distance of about three feet between us, the wooden floorboards creaking quietly beneath my weight. I do not go any further because I want to leave the choice up to ‘Ailani. I hear him consider the options in his mind and come to a decision. He wipes his moist palms on his cut-off denim jeans and takes a deep breath. Then he slowly closes the gap between us so that we are almost touching. The entire time he is looking into my eyes as he inches his cherubic face closer and closer to mine. As his face moves closer, I watch his eyes smolder before they begin to shut. I fight to maintain control as his lips slowly graze mine. I feel a fit of passion seize my entire body and I clasp ‘Aliani to my body, wrecking havoc on his mouth. I remain aware of the fact that I must maintain control, or I could easily crush him in a fit of passion. However, as we slowly lower to the ground my mind empties completely and everything begins to fade away.
The next thing that I am aware of is a loud crash as the front door is kicked in. I look up to see my wife, Bella framed in the doorway. Behind her, I can see my sisters, Alice and Rosalie. All three women are glaring down at ‘Ailani and I, taking in the fact that our bodies are so closely intertwined. I can immediately read the shock in Alice’s thoughts and then she silently tells me how they have come to be here.
Alice has been keeping track of me all along, monitoring all of my decisions to make sure that I was keeping myself out of trouble. She began to see where my choices were leading me in my relationship with ‘Ailani and decided she could wait no longer. It was time to tell Bella about what I was doing. Bella did not react well to Alice’s news and immediately wanted to know where I could be found. She announced that she was coming after me and it was quickly decided that Alice and Rosalie would come with her, forming a sort of hunting party. Bella was infuriated by the possibility of my infidelity and vowed that she would do whatever it took to bring me back home. They have managed to trace me here by following ‘Ailani’s decisions and came here as quickly as they could.
“You know why I’m here,” Bella snarled at me, eyes flashing with fury. Every muscle in her body was clearly tensed and I began to rise up from the floor, placing myself in front of ‘Ailani.
“I knew I couldn’t trust you but I never expected this”, she hissed, “You promised to love me for as long as we both shall live and this is how you repay me?”
I knew there were no words that could fix the damage that I had done. I remained silent as ‘Ailani struggled to adjust his disheveled clothing, clearly confused by the entire turn of events. His movements on the floor draw Bella’s attention and she immediately launches into an attack.
As she flies through the air in one graceful bound, I quickly launch myself back at her. Our bodies crash into each other, making a deafening crack. We are both strong fighters but normally my special talent would give me an advantage. However, in this case it does me no good and I am not used to fighting someone with this form of handicap, which places us on a more level playing field. Bella fluidly twirls and twists around my attempts to constrain her, continually attempting to get hold of ‘Ailani. Continually, our bodies crash into each other and we move around each other’s punches and kicks at lightening speed. ‘Ailani lets out a petrified scream and I whirl around to look at him, hoping to offer some degree of comfort. That moment is just long enough for Bella to unexpectedly push me out the doorway into Rosalie and Alice where we are all caught off guard by the contact and fall to the ground. The next few moments happen quickly but appear to be occurring in slow motion. Bella immediately stalks toward ‘Ailani and rapidly sinks her teeth into his throat. He lets out a blood-curdling scream and his limbs begin to flail about. I try to force my way back into the house but Alice and Rosalie are holding me back.
“Let her go,” Rosalie says, “It is too late now.” I writhe in their grasps, trying with all my might to escape the iron vice of their hands. I watch with horror as Bella slowly drains every last drop of blood from his body and my body begins to tremble. She then looks up at me with sparkling red eyes, the blood dripping from her chin.
“How could you?” I demand, “How could you do this to me?”
“To you?” she screeches, “How about what you have done to me, to this family? What about our daughter? How will you explain this to her?”
I feel a lapse in Alice’s grasp, which is all I need to release myself from their hold. I leap forward into the house about five feet from where Bella stands over ‘Ailani’s limp corpse. As I look into her eyes I have a moment of doubt, asking myself the questions that had been circling in my head for months. How has it come to this? Where had it all gone wrong? Then, the image of Bella sinking her teeth into ‘Ailani’s throat fills my mind and I lunge at her with all my might. Bella lets out a scream and tries to escape.
Alice and Rosalie stand in the door, pinned back by uncertainty. Who should they help, the mother of their beloved niece who has been spurned by her husband or the brother they have loved for years?
“This is between Bella and I. The two of you need to stay out of it,” I snarl.
“He’s right. This does not involve the two of you,” Bella hisses. I stare into Bella’s eyes with all the anger and hatred that has built up over the past few months. Bella stares angrily back at me. While in this standstill I watch Bella’s face begin to transform. The anger slowly drains out of Bella’s eyes turning into a deep sadness and I can almost see the young girl that I feel in love with. I suddenly have the sense that she is reaching out to me with her mind. I feel her thoughts wash over me and she displays images of the first time we met, our wedding, and numerous other happy memories we have shared as a family. This is her way of asking for my forgiveness. I can see in her eyes that she thinks I will be able to let this go and that we will move on together stronger than ever before. Suddenly, the image of Bella attacking ‘Ailani reenters my mind. I have seen the person I can be with ‘Ailani and by killing him she has ruined any chance for me to be happy ever again. Fury sends tremors through my body and I have just enough time to register the shock on Bella’s face as I pin her to the ground.
“Don’t you love me anymore?” she thinks as I begin to pull with all my strength. I barely hear her screams as I finish my attack. My anger allows me to quickly and efficiently dismember her body without a single thought. I stalk over to ‘Ailani’s corpse and pull out the small lighter that I know is in his pocket, preparing to set fire to the pile of rubble that was once Bella. Before I actually start the fire, I turn and look back at Alice and Rosalie. Tears are streaming down both of their faces and the gravity of what I have done hits me. My hand begins to shake as tears roll down my own marble face. The lighter clatters to the floor as I take off running down the street.