Thomas took off his shirt, which was as clear a proof as any that he fully intended on playing this dirty if he felt he had to - not that I'd needed any additional proof.
"No," I said. Firmly. Before any more items of clothing joined the shirt and I might start to experience a certain difficulty getting even the mono-syllabic words out without stammering.
"Honestly, Harry, what's the problem?" Bob said. "This is pure win-win. You get laid, you get the last ingredient you need for that spell that's going to save a lot of people's lives, and I get to watch. That's better than win-win; that's win-win-win."
Thomas gave me a look that meant he either sympathized with my having to put up with someone like Bob, or that he was thinking about what I might look like naked. Well, probably the last, but what can I say? Occasionally, against all reason and experiences that ought to have taught me better, I'm an optimist.
"I'm not having sex with Thomas just to complete that potion, and that's final." I was impressed; there'd been several words of two syllables in that sentence, and I still had a quite nice view of Thomas's very nice chest.
"How about having sex with me because having sex with me would make you feel really, really good?" Thomas asked. If his voice had contained even a hint of a purr or a growl or whatever other sorts of voices people were supposed to find sexy, I'm convinced I could have walked out of the room right then and there, taken a cold shower or three, and have felt refreshed, if a bit cold.
I should be so lucky.
"No vampire mind tricks," I warned.
Thomas looked hurt. I supposed I might have phrased that a bit more tactful, like maybe 'Thomas, given that I know you're a vampire, and given that I know people sometimes have trouble controlling themselves during sex, and given that vampires are also people, sort of, and given that I'd prefer not to get turned into a mindless husk, I'd like to ask you to maybe take a few sensible precautions'. Something like that. (Everyone's a master diplomat in his own mind, and after the wrong thing's already been said.)
"No worries, Harry; I'm going to be right here, watching everything that's going on," Bob said.
"Secondly, no basement sex. I'm not that kind of girl. We take this to the bedroom, or we're not taking this anywhere at all - and by 'we', I mean me and Thomas."
"Done," Thomas said.