the names we used to know

by ala

Summary:

what they call her

Notes:

Made better by Peripeteia. All typos, mistakes, and general horribleness belong to me.

This takes great liberties with Norse mythology (see spoilery end note).

Chapter 1

Her mother calls her Sif, perhaps thinking of her future as some warrior or nobleman’s bride, most likely just enjoying the simplicity of the name. Regardless of her mother’s intentions, the name becomes a taunt thrown at her by the other youth when she shows up each morning to train with the warriors. One thing is certain: no one will want a wife who spends her days fighting in the dirt learning to kill a man.

He is not cruel like the other children, yet not nearly so nice as his brother who quickly calls her comrade. He steadfastly refuses to call her anything at all. They orbit each other slowly, learning every strength and flaw, but never moving closer. It isn’t until she saves his life in battle that he tentatively calls her friend. The look in his eyes is something she has never seen before.

The heralds call her Sigyn, for her might on the battlefield brings success again and again. The taunts of the past are replaced with jests about how she is married to her sword and will forever be a shield-maiden. She bears the teasing with grace, unable to articulate that she wants for more than a lifetime alone with a weapon in her hand.

He bows over her hand at the celebration feast, looks up and murmurs “my lady.” Curled up around her late at night he whispers “my love.” He calls her wife in front of everyone with such a beautiful smile. He swears that he will do anything for her. She looks at him and knows she will do the same before the end.

The Aesir call her Angrboða and curse the sorrow and disgrace she has wrought with her monstrous children: the world-snake, the Fenris-wolf, the half-dead girl. In spite of their fearsome destinies, she is proud when they call her mother, and cries for their suffering. They were created out of love, and she has learned that while love begets joy, it can also bring grief.

At the end of all things,  Loki looks up at her with a face full of agony and eyes welcoming death. With his final breath he names himself “yours.” She does not regret a moment of their life together, for she has always been his as well. She kisses his cool lips for the last time and goes in search of her name.

Notes:

In Norse mythology is was not uncommon for a god to have more than one name (see Odin or Thor) by which they were referred. I took that idea and applied it to the Movie-verse Sif, utilizing the names of two mythological women who are connected to Loki but do not exist in the movie canon. I was particularly intrigued by the meaning of the names: in Old Norse, Sif means “wife” or “bride,” Sigyn means “victory” (well, “victorious girl-friend”) and Angrboða means “the one who brings grief" or "she-who-offers-sorrow.” Sigyn was the Aesir wife of Loki and Angrboða his jotunn consort (and mother of Jorgamund, Fenrir, and Hela).