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In Which the Characters are all Babies in an Alternate Universe and Baby John Egbert Meets Grub Karkat Vantas for the First Time and Various Baby Shenanigans Ensue.

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Your name is John Egbert. You are currently one year old, and you are about to make a new friend. There are a bunch of weird looking wriggly things your daddy called grubs (before he left you at this place) with you at what your daddy calls day-care. You’re not sure what this means, but you like it here. The two ladies here are nice and you’ve made a lot of friends like Dave and Rose and Jade, but you’ve never tried to play with any of the grubs until now. Today is different.

Today is different because you notice one of the grubs off all on their own. They’re a bright red and their hair is a mess and you notice that they have candy corn growing out of their head. The other grubs try to talk to them, but they seem to either ignore them or push them away, looking particularly angry. You wonder what’s wrong with the grub, and what has them so frazzled, so you crawl your way over to the part of the room where the grub has encased himself in a building block castle that makes you wonder how he built it as he has no hands, just little legs.

You plop yourself down in front of the castle and the grub stares up at you with black eyes. You give what you think is a him a smile and say hello. He gives you a little squeak back.

You take that as a hello, albeit an angry one.

“Wann’ b’ f’ends?” You ask, your teeth (especially your top front teeth that are too big and kinda poke out of your mouth a bit) showing as you smile more.

You get an angry growl, his sharp little teeth showing, and he twists around and hides back in his castle.

You frown, sad that he rejected you, and you start to sniffle a little bit because you don’t know what to do because no one’s ever told you no when you asked to be friends. You’re upset and all you can think to do is cry as tears start rolling down your cheeks and your lip trembles.

Then he turns back around, looking at you in what you could only assume to be shock while you bring your chubby hands up to your eyes to try to get rid of the tears while you cry.

He inches ever so slightly out of his castle and puts one of his front little legs on your knee. You look down at him, still crying. He paps you lightly with his little leg, making what sounds like a “shoosh” noise as he does so.

You’re still for a minute, the tears stopping as you watch him attempt to console you. You then realize that maybe he DOES want to be friends.

You smile widely at him, the tears gone and little giggles bubbling up as you pat his head and he growls at you but doesn’t move away.

 

And on that day, an epic friendship was born.