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The Insubstantial Reversal

Chapter Text

Wendy started dozing off in the middle of another lecture from the Middleman.

"Many Disney movies are actually based on historical tales that happened to various Middlemen. One of those was the trials and tribulations of one man to get his children back," the Middleman droned on.

Tick Tock O'clock

 

"Wendy, Wendy, wake up!" Excited hands shook her to and fro. "Look on the wall! There's a shadow by itself!"

"Lacey, why in the world would you wake me up for something like that? There's no way a shadow can survive without a body. It's probably just cast by your giant Varsity Fanclub cut-out."

"You know very well that I don't have a Varsity Fanclub cut-out, Wendy, and even if I did it would be hidden away in some closet, not out in the open. Besides this shadow looks like sexy bossman."

"My boss? What in the world would his shadow being doing over here? I haven't even received a call on the middle watch." The head hidden under the cover spoke as Wendy struggled to wake up. If it involved the Middleman, it definitely involved work, which meant time to get up. She did not want IDA sending a flock of electronic bugs to get her up again.

"I'm not sure," the excitable attractive blonde who shared an illegal sublet loft with her said. "He seems to be doing some sort of interpretive dance in between hiding in the shadows of other objects. Right now it looks like a dance about opening windows, so I better go do that. I wouldn't want to disappoint your sexy bossman."

"Wait! Lacey, don't open it" Wendy, the photogenic brunette artist who worked as a sidekick for the Middleman, yelled too late. The buzzing, which she had faintly recognized, became more understandable as an irate and tiny IDA flew into the room.

"I don't know why the Middleman puts up with you not responding to your pager. Look what happened now because you were too drugged-out with your friends to come to work today. The Middleman ran into a Lost Boy during today's case and the Lost Boy decided that since he can't find Peter Pan's shadow, the Middleman would take its place. Why I had to get dragged into this I have no idea, but you're Wendy so get your ass in gear and figure out a way to get us back to normal. And you there, hiding in the corner, I am not a fairy so stop clapping your hands and repeating that inane saying."

Guiltily, Lacey stopped clapping her hands and quietly repeating that she believed in fairies.

"Lacey, why don't you go find Noser and see if he can help." Wendy turned to glare at IDA as Lacey left their apartment. "I'd think you'd want her saying that. Unless, of course, you want to die and leave the Middleman with only me for support? Do you know how many people wish that all fairies would die every day? Way too many people, even here in LA. Now get your computer brain in gear and start looking for a way to solve this problem."

"Ham-brained meat-bag," IDA growled. "I already know how to solve this problem. You just have to give Peter Pan a kiss. The problem is that Peter Pan has run away again, and neither I, nor the Lost Boy have any idea where he is! The Lost Boy's plan was probably to follow the shadow, as it should return to its owner; in this case, the owner's Peter Pan even if the shadow is the Middleman. But instead the shadow led me here to a Wendy and a piss poor one at that. Hmph, the Lost Boy is probably on his way here now, so unless you want to be turned into a shadow too, you might want to find a way to solve this problem and find Peter Pan."

"Well, what do we need to do to find Peter Pan? Doesn't Tinkerbell, aka you, have some sort of connection to him? At least she does in all the movies I've seen," Wendy said, as she got dressed. Pajamas weren't the type of clothes one wore to solve Middleman emergencies if it could be avoided.

"I am not Tinkerbell, bird brain, get that fact into your tiny little head," IDA snarled. "Stand still! We'll try finding Peter Pan by triangulation using you and the Middleman. That should hopefully give us a place to start, at least. We need to move though before the Lost Boy gets here. He can hone in on Wendies too."

As Wendy and the shadow moved according to IDA's growled orders, Lacey returned empty handed.
"Wendy, Noser isn't in the building, so I don't think he can help us today. He apparently has a performance of Stump the Musician today," Lacey said. She watched with fascination as IDA directed Wendy around. "What are you guys trying to do? Spin in circles to clear your chakras?"

"No, dumb brain. I'm trying to triangulate Peter Pan's position off of their electrical energy waves," IDA snarled. "It looks like we might want to try Legoland."

"Hey, that's where Noser's playing tonight! He might be able to help us out after all. No, IDA I don't like that look in your eyes. There is no way that Noser is Peter Pan. We would know. Besides, he has history here. He was that ventriloquist remember?" Wendy sat down, tired from turning, her mind was still spinning even though she had stopped.

"Shows how much attention you pay in class. Peter Pan and the Lost Boys only possess people; they don't have bodies. They're Fantastic Creatures. Really you need to do a better job of not falling asleep while the Middleman is trying to shove information to into your poor, limited brain."

A sudden pounding on the door briefly stopped their argument. "I know you're in there, Wendy. You better open up right now and tell me where Noser is or I'll have to kick you out," a voice could be heard saying, muffled by the door.

"IDA, would the Lost Boy have possessed Pip?" Wendy's eyes turned to tiny flying android. "He would be perfect for a Lost Boy; I doubt he'll ever grow up."

"For once you have had an actual intelligent thought. The Lost Boy would find him a perfect home." IDA's wings sped up. "We need to get out of here now or the Middleman will remain a shadow."

"If he is possessed and looking for Noser, maybe Legoland is where we want to head. Lacey, we're leaving now and I'm taking the Middleman's shadow with me." Wendy told her best friend as she started climbing out the open window. "Make sure you keep Pip occupied so he can't follow us and don't kiss him again!"

Sedately and carefully, Wendy Watson drove to the place where she might, with a princess kiss, rescue the Middleman and return him to his proper form.

 

Tock Tick O'clock

 

"Ok, we're here. Now how are we going to get it? I'm not paying full price just to see an unending pile of bricks," Wendy complained as she tried to find parking.

 

"Did you ever even touch the Middle Manual?" IDA buzzed with disbelief. "The Middleman has an arrangement with Legoland. Legos are a huge off-planet export. For some reason the little alien brats love them. Just walk to the employees entrance over there, tell them it's a Middle emergency, show them the card, and you're in."

Wendy nervously followed Ida's directions and was surprised to find that it worked. "This must be serious," Wendy thought, "that was when IDA usually played a trick on me."

"What? I see that look on your face. You thought I was going to play a prank on you. Like you're worth the effort."

"Oh, not worth the effort am I? Then how do you explain the Chocolate Incident?"

"Hmph, that wasn't a prank, that was training."

IDA and Wendy continued to bicker as they hurriedly searched the park for Noser. Finally they found him setting up shop in front of Pirate Shores.

"Noser! There you are!" Wendy smiled. "Question for you, O Master of Lyrics. Are you possessed by a Peter Pan spirit?"

"Yup, how'd you know?" Noser asked curiously.

"Well, you don't normally wear a small green hat. That's a big giveaway right there. Now just hold still. I need to kiss you."

 

O'clock Tick Tock

 

Thwack.
"Huh? Why'd you have to wake me up! I was about to kiss Noser!" Wendy frowned in frustration.

"A true Middleman or -woman never falls asleep during an important class. In the future I recommend a glass of warm milk if you are having trouble sleeping at night," the Middleman said and restarted his lecture on the truth behind Disney movies.