Disclaimer: The Addams Family belongs to ABC and its creators and producers; it is not mine
as do the characters who appear here or are mentioned.
"Badda Bing, Badda Boom (Emphasis on Boom) by Karen
The gray with a hint of a silver tinge grit coating both childrens' hands and made Wednesdays' straight and severely cut locks appear to have a prematurely streak of gray in it should have been the first clue.
However, as was usually his wont, he failed to notice anything.
For her part, Morticia had to admit that if the children wished to indulge in an idle past-time that made them happy and did not involve the older of two threatening the younger with
bodily harm; so much the better. It should even be encouraged.
A week or two elapsed and then the calls from the public school principal began to come in as did the smiles and the looks in the eyes of these pillars of public education; they were puzzled and worried, and if truth be told perhaps even a little afraid of children who played with dynamite caps.
Aloud she remarked, "While I can understand where they were coming from it does puzzle me at the same time." She cocked her head to one side that from a certain angle, dressed as was
her wont in head to toe in black making her resemble a crow on a perch.
"Cara Mia," remarked Gomez, "Dynamite caps are quite harmless and despite their age both Wednesday and Pugsley can be trusted to handle the workings and ingredients with care."
"Agreed. It is not as if they were rank amateurs or had the makings of would-be juvenile delinquents."
She sniffed and turned to regard her husband with a significant glare from her position at the head of the dining room table. "I do not wish to debate whether they can or cannot handle dynamite caps.
From their seat at at down a ways across the length of the long narrow table Wednesday and Pugsley exchanged significant looks with one another. Much as they would have done were they in the midst of planning another caper or an intricate conspiracy, although if true were told Wednesday almost always took the role of leader during such enterprises. One would have thought that Pugsley might resent this but he did not.
'His sister had an undeniable and quite remarkable talent for hatching schemes; and there were times that Pugsley thought that he made have missed out somewhere along the line of the Addams' family tree that particular gene.'
He shook his head to clear it of the inevitable cobwebs and shoved the thought into a back corner of his mind. Aloud he whispered, "What do we do now?"
His sister nodded. "We wait."
"They can't really kick us out of school for this, can they?" he asked.
"No, not at first, but I seem to recall reading somewhere in the school's manual about three outs policy," she replied.
"Three strikes, you mean."
"Whatever." Wednesday shrugged and reached up to twine one of the fingers of her right hand around a loose strand of her black hair. "The point is, that is just a pretext for wanting to be rid of us."
"Why else. We're not like the others, and, well, whatever the true reasoning behind our, what was the word?" she asked.
"Expelled," he supplied.
"Yes, I suspect that Mother and Father will come up with something."
At the other end of the dining room table Gomez Addams suddenly stood up in one smooth motion nearly dragging the place serving, the platters of roasted pork and the table cloth upon which the entire thing sat down to the ground for a corner of the table cloth had become entangled in his shiny silver belt buckle. "I have it. It's sheer brilliance! Cara Mia, I believe I have hit on a solution that will be of mutual benefit to all concerned. We take the children out of public school."
"And then," she prompted, intrigued in spite of herself.
"A private school?"
Morticia slowly nodded and then mulled over the pros and cons. "I have heard of it, an school run by a reformed truant officer. It could work but I would like to learn more about it."
"What do you think of that, children!" Gomez exclaimed.
Blinking much in the manner of a startled small furred forest animal caught in the bright oncoming headlights of a moving vehicle at night Wednesday and Pugsley considered. It could work, and if this worked out it would avoid any awkward explanations and encounters with the law.
"And don't worry, I have gone over our finances and I we can afford it," Gomez Addams flashed his trade-mark million-wattage grin at everyone in the general vicinity and appeared to lose some of his verve when he met the unflinching stare of Lurch, the butler. "We can afford it. We can even afford to by the school several times over. To be honest, I think the current owner would welcome a new landlord."
Wednesday listened to her father's solution to their problem with only half an ear while she mused: "That last experiment and the resulting consequences had been the primary cause of why their family were having this conversation in the first place. As beautiful and as elegantly executed as the explosion had been: she thought, 'A thing of beauty is a joy forever.'
It still did not meant that their destruction of school property would not go unpunished. Cause and effect, push and pull. It really made a kind of sense in a way. Glancing at Pugsley out of the corner of her eye whom she poked with a sharp elbow, and the look in her eyes warned him not to make any type of outcry. "We would be delighted to check out Mockridge Hall. If it meets with your approval, of course."
"Pugsley, what do you think, my boy?" asked Morticia.
"I think, well.....I think, it would be a good uh, a nice change of pace," he replied.
"Then it's settled. I will contact Principal Rutherford and make arrangements immediately for removing Wednesday and Pugsley," stated Morticia.
At the entrance between the dining room and the kitchen the excessively tall and pale-complexioned butler who had served the Addams Family for at least one generation and perhaps several others, sighed and wiped his hands on his apron.
It was not his place to get involved with the family's business.