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Turning Point

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Adam will remember this dance forever because it's the one where he went from "I love this man" to "I want to spend the rest of my life with this man".

He already knows this will be one of the defining moments of his life.  One he will tell his grandchildren about when he's older.  He can picture the scene in vivid detail, right down to the color of his granddaughter's eyes and the color of his grandsons hair.  She'll be sitting on his knee staring at him, listening with rapt attention as he tells the story of his life. His grandson will pretend not to listen until Adam gets to his favorite part, the superstar part.

The first thing he'll tell them is when he learned what unconditional love means. It was the day his father discovered his gay porn on the computer.  Of course he'll skip the porn part and focus on his father knew he was gay part.  Even now, the memory of his father taking him aside to discuss it sends a jolt of fear skating down his spine. He was so young and terrified someone would discover his secret, and out of everyone, for it to be his father scared him shitless.  His throat still closes up when he puts himself back in that place. Luckily for him, his dad said it was no big deal and shrugged like it was an everyday occurrence. How different would his life be if his father had another reaction? 

He'll make sure they know they are loved the same way.

He'll explain how nervous he was coming out of the closet. Hopefully by that time there won't be a need for anyone to come out of any closet and people will be allowed to love whoever they want without fear of judgement.  He knows the chances of that happening are slim but he's always the optimist as Sauli keeps telling him.

He smiles and rubs his jaw against the head on his shoulder as they slowly sway to Christina singing about being bound to another soul.  He has no doubt Brooke requested this song for them.

He'll tell his grandkids about traveling the world at a young age and encourage them to step out of their comfort zone on their path to self discovery.  He'll keep the more wild aspects of the story to himself.

Then there will be Brad. The first man he ever loved. His heart still aches with the sweetness of those memories.  It was beautiful and terrifying and he wouldn't change a minute of their time together.  Maybe this will be something he files in the "for Adam's eyes only" corner of his heart.

Adam will patiently tell them how Idol changed his life - gave him a purpose. How it launched him and without it he wouldn't have a recording career. He'll answer all their questions about the people he worked with and the awards he won. He'll make sure to exaggerate on performing in front of thousands, if nothing else than to watch his grandson's face light up.  After all, what boy doesn't want to be a rock star when he grows up?

Then the boy will probably start making "gross" noises when Adam starts on the story about the man in his arms. The little girl will have her head in her little hands smiling at him while he weaves his tale. His grandson will roll his eyes because he'll want to hear more about when his grandfather was a famous singer.  He won't be into the romantic stories like the little girl will be. 

Adam will tell her how he walked up to him at a club and tapped him on the shoulder. He'll explain how his heart stopped when those blue eyes locked with his and he just knew his life was changed forever. She'll sigh and lay her head on his chest, much like the palm there now, and listen to how they fell in love.

"Can I take a picture?"

Adam blinks back to reality and smiles at Brooke's new mother-in-law while Sauli lifts his head to smile too. She leaves after snapping her camera and Sauli resumes the position he had before.

They slow dance, barely moving to the music. Sauli has one hand around his neck, the other flat against his heart.  Adam's skin tingles as the palm on his shirt traces little circles over his chest, matching the rhythm of the music, while his own chin nuzzles the soft hair on Sauli's head.  They don't say anything - no words are necessary.

Their hearts beat in unison as the song plays on.  He wants it all - a family, marriage - everything with him. Only him. Things he never dared to hope for are possible. He can feel it.

The question is does Sauli feel it? Sure, he loves Adam but that doesn't mean he wants the whole Norman Rockwell family portrait.

He hears Sauli's sigh before he feels his lips against his chest, right over his heart. The music winds down but they don't leave the floor. Instead Adam covers the hand that's on his chest with his own and sways with him. Sauli lifts his head up and it's like that first night all over again. His heart skips a beat as those blue eyes stare into his. Then he smiles at Adam and lifts his head and Adam obliges him with a soft, romantic kiss.

He wants to make love to him, spend all night cherishing him. He wants their hands gripped tightly together when they become one. He needs to be connected to him - body, mind and soul - knowing tonight will be different than all their other nights.

"Let's go to our room," Adam whispers against his ear. He feels the shiver through Sauli's body before making it's way to his.

Sauli turns to leave, spinning his hand around so he's holding Adam's.

"A black tux," Sauli says in a firm voice.

Adam smiles down at him while they walk down the hall.

"What?"

Sauli stops them in front of their door, standing in front of Adam. He takes Adam's other hand in his and Adam starts to feel a prickle of unease down his spine. Sauli's staring at him in a way that makes him feel emotionally naked and exposed. There's no smile in those eyes, just a burning intensity he's never seen before.

"I want you to wear a black tux when we get married."

It takes a minute for the words to register but when they do Adam's mind immediately pictures the girl with blue eyes, a boy with strawberry-blonde hair, both covered in freckles.  He sees Christmas mornings in Finland and Halloweens in California.  Sauli smiling as he looks at Adam, wrinkles around his eyes and mouth, glasses on the edge of his nose, a hat covering his bald head.  

And those older but still beautiful blue eyes will be filled with a love more powerful than Adam could ever imagine. 

He saw the possibility of the future in Sauli's arms but he sees the reality of it in the look they now share.

Adam smiles wide, and Sauli smiles with him.  It's almost scary how they seem to share the same thoughts.

"Ok but I get to pick out the color of the ties."

He expects Sauli to say something funny, like he always does but he leans forward and lays his head back on Adam's shoulder, his palm flat against his chest, just like on the dance floor.

"I love you Adam."

Adam sighs and rubs his chin on his head. Even now, hearing those words still turns his stomach inside and out. 

"I love you too."

Fate made sure they found each other but love is what will keep them together.