Danny had a feeling this headache was going to be his last one.
It really shouldn't have been all that bad. Steve hadn't made anything explode. Kono hadn't jumped off any buildings. Chin hadn't... well, Chin had acted like his normal Chin self, which was to say, relatively sane. It was all good, really.
Except for the tiny blonde currently using one of the HQ chairs as a merry-go-round, that was. Well, correction; except for that, and except for the guy who was currently using the HQ computers to, apparently, take over Hawaii.
"We're really, really sorry about this," the guy was saying. "Y'all seem like a real nice bunch of people, and uh, Eliot doesn't usually beat up cops. We're doing this for a good cause. You'll see."
The guy who wasn't in the habit of beating up cops, which was possibly, Danny supposed, why he'd only knocked out a Navy SEAL, grunted.
"You're babbling," said the tiny blonde, in the tone of someone just making a random observation. "Is something going wrong?"
The guy at the computer twitched. It was the violent twitch Danny was so very familiar with, the one that said 'Who are these people, and why do I work with them?' He refused to feel any sympathy, because Steve's temple was slowly but steadily purpling where he was slumped in a chair over at the corner, and he still hadn't so much as moved a muscle.
"Wrong?" Computer Guy said. "Why would something be wrong? It's just these little details, like maybe how we're inside the scary special-op police station instead of out on the roof, or how they've seen all our faces, or how Eliot just had some kind of ninja battle with a Hawaiian cop. And how I've seen the owner of this computer I'm messing with right this minute, and he has a shotgun. Computer geeks shouldn't have shotguns. It's bad for our image."
Danny made eye contact with Kono. The cloth around her mouth had, he was pretty sure, been tied a bit more securely than his (understandable, really, since he'd only tried to headbutt Computer Guy in the stomach, while she'd tried to bite Muscle Guy's fingers and his elbow off, the second after her gag was already in place.) Her expression was still completely readable, though. It said: not only does he have a shotgun, he also has a text message and 80% chance of being on his way over, at which point these amateurs will wish they'd never been born. It probably had a 'brah' somewhere in there, too.
Danny was pretty proud of that text message. He'd dropped his cell phone without any of the bad guys noticing and typed it out with his toes, while they were preoccupied with arguing over what to do with Steve. Everybody he knew kept telling him to loosen up and lose the tie, but clearly going barefoot was a much more helpful step.
(Of course, the only reason he was barefoot in the first place was that his shoes had been completely destroyed during the morning's case, so in a way you could argue it was all thanks to Steve, but that wasn't the point at all.)
"You should have more faith, Hardison," said the asshole who'd gotten them all into this mess by being so bad at making up cover stories, walking back into the room. "I'm sure Lieutenant Commander McGarrett will understand once he wakes up. He's pretty well-known for unorthodox methods around here, from what I understand."
This, Danny thought, was true. Steve was definitely well-known for a lot of things around here, and he had every hope all of those things would shortly be visited on their guests, the more violently the better.
He should have remembered, he mused happily, while Steve rose up like the wrath of -- well, like the wrath of a really pissed off and more than mildly deranged Navy SEAL -- and put Muscle Guy in a headlock, just as Chin and his trusty shotgun burst through the door, that Steve not moving at all only had the tiniest probability of being due to normal-people causes, like being out cold, rather than things like picking the rope he'd been tied with using only his fingernails without anyone noticing, or whatever had just happened there.
The criminals' main guy spun around, like he was actually going to run at Chin and force him to shoot him, his mouth opening to say something. Danny rocked himself back and managed to trip him via a chair leg to the knee.
"Great, Nate," said Computer Guy, now staring at them all with very wide eyes and holding his hands very carefully where everyone could see them. "That's just great."
The tiny blonde spun her chair around again.